One of those really interesting conversations last week came with a price.
T, Duane's cousin K's husband, had been staying with Duane's parents while he was doing some job training. T and K are some of my favorite people among Duane's relatives. I always enjoy spending time with them. They have a new baby now, too.
So last week T and i got into several conversations, and when we got to the work conversation, Duane joined us. His mama sat listening, and his Step-Dad sat off to the side, apparently unaffected. The conversation was lively (and i can't repeat T's definition of work for it had too many words - i don't remember it).
Duane's Dad doesn't like to be left out or not the center of attention. I remember wondering at the time if i should try to draw him into the conversation but this thing had its own life and pace an i didn't stop it to make that effort. Frankly, Dad likes to pontificate, but he doesn't join these kind of discussions. I was enjoying our exchange too much to put the brakes on it.
The next night, while i was at my knit group, Dad attacked T verbally. He called T a whiner (he'd hurt his back pretty severely the week before) and a drug addict (for taking Motrin), and much, much more. So the following morning T packed his things and will be staying elsewhere while doing this work.
I am really, really sad. I enjoy T's company so much. I'm not horribly surprised because i've seen Dad do this before with others. He is the master of passive-aggressive behavior, all unconscious, i think. If he feels left out, or not in control in a situation, this tends to be his response. I also know that he will never believe himself to be wrong, so nothing we say will change his mind. He will never apologize.
Not much else i can say on this. I am so sorry, and sad.