I've no idea where this will go

It seems ironic i was given an "Attitude of Gratitude" award when i feel so cranky!

I mentioned it was a hard weekend. Duane was away Saturday helping a friend. I had so many things planned to do while he was gone & i don't think i did any of them.

Sunday AM he made it back in time for church, & called me when he was half an hour away. So i got up, & within 10 or 15 minutes i was in a great deal of pain. It was my neck. I couldn't flex or extend it without a significant amount of pain, i still could rotate it with near full range of motion, but it was uncomfortable. And as the day went on it didn't get better & nothing helped. I tried trigger point & regular massage & heat & a pain cream (it is so good, i recommend it often - if you've questions on it email me) & lots of different positions. Nothing helped. So i waited it out until i could get to work & Dean could adjust me. And that helped some. Reduced the issue by about 50%. He did find patterns that i've never had (was adjusting me in spots i've never needed before).

Yesterday i had another massage with the same person from a couple of weeks ago. We are doing a trade for a little while. I've decided she does know what she's doing, & what she's doing does help, but i don't like it all that much. It is therapeutic massage in the extreme (i'm pretty sore today). While i recognize the benefit of this, i'd rather have a massage where i just relax & feel good. The massage helped my neck too.

But last night i was awake every 2 hours because the pain was waking me up. I tried sleeping with a pillow, without a pillow, sleeping in the recliner, nothing helped. It still isn't as bad as it was Sunday & Monday AM, so what have i to complain about? The fact is i didn't DO anything to cause this. I've never been in this much pain before without having a reason. In fact, i didn't hurt this much after the car accident in December.

I've a lot of thoughts percolating in my brain box. About Job & other issues i read in other folks' blogs. I also am on the edge of tears. It wouldn't take anything at all to dissolve me into a weepy bunch of shapeless rags. (My corrected typo here was "shapeless rage" & that could happen too, i suppose.)

I think i'll stop now, however. This is the reason i've not been writing the past couple of days. It is hard for me to post this without a joke or pretty picture. I do try to turn things in a way that they can seem funny. But i'm too close to it right now. It does seem i should be able to do that with the irony of my attitude. Gratitude?

Well, yes. I was in such a hurry the other day i forgot to add what i intended to my 8 Meme. It is an i'm grateful 8. If you're doing the meme, i'd encourage you to include it.

• i'm so grateful for a happy marriage & the wonderful man who loves me in spite of everything
• i'm thankful that we have flexible jobs that allow us to live where we choose, even if we have to leave our home 2 nights a week
• i'm thankful that we were able to buy a home, something we didn't think possible
• i'm thankful for our kitties who are funny & do like "the people" even when they pretend they don't, sometimes
• i'm so grateful to find a church that truly loves Jesus & is intent on living for him
• i'm so thankful for all our friends & family
• i'm really grateful for the internet & the opportunity to meet new people & have new friends i never would have come across before
• i'm grateful, thankful, & almost wordless for God's love for me & the hope i have to someday be with him
  

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