My favorite folks ! :)

01 August 2009

Bits & Pieces

Well, VBS is over for another year. We were all tired yesterday. I had the young woman i imagine will take over next year doing most of the music yesterday. That way i didn't feel the need to push so hard. Had i not done that, i think it would have been a repeat of Wednesday.

Instead i had enough energy to hang out with the older kids. I didn't do much beyond being present. (A CPR-trained adult.) I got to talk to them some & enjoyed that.

The church Duane & i used to attend "down the hill" is doing VBS next week. I never participated in that one. I like our 3-day VBS up here more. Also, because i love to sing & our church was delighted to have me do the music it was something where i felt needed rather than just peripherial.

Also, Ms. Lady-of-unwanted-advice did not bother me either day. Each day she asked how i was doing & i answered, "Fine, thank you." And she told me she was praying for me & i thanked her & that was the end of our interaction.

The comment from "Land of Shrimp" was also helpful. I knew that this lady really did mean well, but sometimes that is hard to hold on to when you are feeling so crushed. But also Shrimp's point that it is often fear that pushes folks to say such things. Also, i know as women we often want to "fix" things. When people get in "fix" mode they often forget to listen or have compassion. There are other, less kind, reasons the lady may have made these comments. Control is one, but i prefer to believe that the comments were well meant even if they were painful.

Part of the reason i never helped with VBS at our other church was that i really hated VBS as a child. Also the afternoon after-school children's Bible classes, similar to VBS that ran thru the year.

But, part of that was that my mother taught those after-school things. And my mother was, quite frankly, a rather twisted person. To sit & listen to her tell all these children of God's love & invite them to receive Jesus into their lives, & then an hour later listen to her yell at myself & Sis #2 (#3 had not yet arrived) & tell us how unlovable we were had a pretty negative effect on me.

The church we attended, for whatever reason, seemed to have a larger-than-is-normal proportion of folks who abused their kids. I can think of 3 other families with kids that were my age that i know of for sure, & about 6 other families i suspect were abusive, too. I do know a large number of people my age or older left the church & Jesus after they moved away from their homes. I feel really fortunate that i didn't have to leave Jesus in order to escape from my past. Nor was i as damaged as another friend who didn't leave Jesus. She chose to go to a different church. But she was very much effected/damaged by feeling that she was entirely unlovable, even to God. She saw herself as one of the "goats" who longed to be a "sheep."

I believe in teaching children in Jesus. But i still have a hard time with some children's ministries. It feels like "indoctrination" to me & if the child doesn't understand then we are doing a disservice. I like our VBS. It talks a lot about God's love without forcing the children to say a prayer & then telling them they are "Christians." Which is how it happened for me. That's a long discussion, & i know that i do belong to God & have a relationship thru Jesus, but i was rather confused as a child. I wouldn't wish that on another.

Sorry. I'm tired & not making much sense.



Amrita said...

God bless you Kathy. Have a good Lord 's day

Land of shimp said...

I'm so glad things are going better, and that I said anything that helped.

Feel well, and take care!