Scattered Brain

Sometimes i think i'm more scattered/ADD on the computer than other times. I read a paragraph of a blog, write a sentence on my blog, play a round of whatever game i have up, read an article, check my email, check out something bouncing in my head (if i remember what it was long enough to search it), go back to the blog & read another paragraph & start all over again. (Ok, i'm back! For the past couple of weeks i've been addicted to a game called "Bubble Spinner." The games i play are largely useless, they are a distraction for me.)

Duane is down the hill until Monday night or Tuesday AM. His office/business (well, we don't own it) is moving to a larger warehouse across the street. This has been in the works for a while now, but this past & coming week are when it is actually done. I have to say, they have been at the same place for so long & it is mostly run by men - i'd hate to have to move all of that & hate to have to clean the place. I wonder if it will look neat even when they first move in?

This all works out well, however, as i wanted to stay home this week. It won't be much "vacation" as i see it. It will largely be preparing for company. But then i'll be able to enjoy company while they are here. I have a real mental block about the cooking. So i'm a bit stressed on that account. I'm so thankful that the cooking for the "big" meal is not on my shoulders. We'll go to Duane's Aunt & Uncle's place for that. But my sis & MIL & i will be preparing things here.

I saw a doc here in town yesterday. The rash that had largely cleared is back. I'm finding it very frustrating. The doc was not horrible, & should i have a problem here again seeing him would not be out of the question. But, these days i see so clearly how these docs are unable to see "outside the box" of what their (pharmaceutically-influenced) medical schools have taught them. I get tired of being treated like a mentally-incompetent. One of the medicines he tried to prescribe is fluoride-based - and he didn't even know that nor did his PDR inform him of the fact. Another fluoride-based med would probably kill me.

I was only there because the doc i'd chosen (in OC) who is suppose to be "holistic" had her office inform me that they don't deal with the issues involved in this rash. Say what?

I'm sure i have a lot more complaints stored up (i'm not sure i trust his Dx), but i'm tired of hearing myself yammer.

Tomorrow will find neither Duane or myself at church. He, of course, is down the hill. I had to speak to the pastor about something else & asked if more painting had been done this week. He said yes & that he could still smell the paint-smell. Well, if he's aware of the paint-smell today, i certainly won't be there tomorrow. I've not decided if i'll go to another church or not.

As i have said, i feel that this church is where we are "suppose" to be - although the belief system behind that statement doesn't fit me very well. But i have real issues with some of the things that our church does. We throw out a LOT of garbage every week; it goes to a landfill. The only way i've been able to handle that is to bring plates for Duane & me & then wash them. But i think i'll soon be bringing out a tray of mugs, as well, for those who would prefer that to Styrofoam. I'm not a coffee drinker, but i can't imagine that the stuff tastes good in Styrofoam. (On the occasion i have tea or cocoa, i go into the kitchen for a mug.)

But what i'm struggling with is the unspoken reality behind these actions.

I know that i'm "super-sensitive" (as is Duane) to scents. But i am of the firm belief that if those things make us ill, they are doing damage even to others who are not so "sensitive." AND to our environment.

Now, i've heard Christian folks say, "If we're doing God's will" - spreading the Gospel & worshipping him - "then no harm will come to us." Even - "God wouldn't let Styrofoam harm us, we're here to worship him." Excuse me, but that is frankly idiotic.

Actions, even seemingly innocent ones, have consequences. I'm not a social-Gospel person in the meaning that has come to have. But i do believe in: 1. Spreading the love of Jesus Christ & his purpose in the world 2. Loving neighbor as self - which includes all the things the original social-Gospel folks espoused - taking care of the sick, the poor, the friendless, the needy, feeding the hungry, providing shelter for those who need it. 3. Taking care of this earth that God has entrusted to us. And tho these are numbered, i consider them all equally important.

I've heard some Christian folk also say, "God's going to destroy the earth anyway, what does it matter if we trash it?" This is so idiotic that i don't even have words.

Neither of those statements which so bother me came from any of the folks from my church, thankfully. And, i've hope for better things. In this current economic climate, our pastor has made it clear that we are to help one another. If someone needs help, our church wants to be part of it. We have been gathering food (which we take to the Catholic church that already has a program in place) & they made it clear that if any of the congregation is in need, they should "help themselves" to what has been donated. Then, in a lovely realization of folks' pride, they decided that they should announce that if any of the congregation knows someone who needs food - friend, neighbor, or family member - they should help themselves. They realized that some folks might be too proud to let it be known that they are in need but would be willing to take it for "someone else." Or, perhaps someone else they know really does need those things.

I have attended churches in the past who were deaf to the needs of their own parishioners & community. All their funds were for running the church & supporting "the mission of spreading the Gospel." Helping a parishioner in need (especially financial) didn't even make their list of possible uses of their funds.

So, even tho i'm sometimes discouraged in our church, i do have hope. This outreach (food) to parishioners & community has only begun in the past year. Maybe, maybe, someday my presence will help them be more aware we need to create less garbage & make better use of recyclables (meaning mugs, plates, etc. not just plastics to be recycled) I have no hope for a quick change, but hope for a change, none the less.


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