Weekend's End

My ILs left this afternoon. I've spent the afternoon resting & playing with Photoshop. This is what i made, to use in the office for Christmas, maybe.


It doesn't look like much, but it took me a long time. I've not tried the drawing pad yet. And my skills with calligraphy on Photoshop will take some time to improve. (Tho they are already better since i removed "snap to grid." It looked truly awful before that.)

Yesterday was hard for me. You see, i've told my MIL J that i have some medical issues, but she had never seen me struggle with them, nor do i want her to. I don't want Duane's mama to know how limited i am.

She had this wonderful idea to make Duane's favorite, cabbage rolls. And so we did. Early on i really enjoyed doing this. It was fun to work together & learn from each other. The way she usually makes cabbage rolls is rather easy. She uses instant rice (no nutritional value whatsoever), & conventionally raised beef, & Campbell's cream of mushroom soup (don't even get me started on that one!). She prefers mushroom soup to the conventional tomato sauce for cabbage rolls. Duane does also. She'd made them once before at our house & had not been willing to change at all. But this time she was willing to use the rice i have at home - basmati (but it takes a long time to cook). We also bought grass-fed ground bison & ground beef. And an organic cabbage. But she used Campbell's soup. I also got mushrooms. I figured since she was making them i'd make them my way at the same time.

I use the same rice, but mix it with a ground mixture of veggies (i had mushroom & zucchini) & i made a cream of mushroom soup with garlic & onions. It turned out good, but part way thru the afternoon i really should have gone to lie down for a while.

I also made some potato chips (that didn't last long) & we made apple cuts - apple pie in a square pan. She had never made pie crust with either gluten-free flour or butter before. She was surprised i don't have shortening - i'm surprised she does ! Shortening is ALL transfats, unless you use lard, which i don't have either. We didn't know if the reason the pie crust didn't stick together well was because of the butter or the GF flour. (Except, i think before i was GF i made pie crust with butter & it was fine.)

Everything tasted good, tho it cooked a little too fast. I had bought Pillsbury biscuits because Duane loves them. It still was not nearly as big a meal as when she cooks, but i was absolutely exhausted. After we finished eating & i had cleaned most of the kitchen, i was ready for bed, & shocked to find that it was only 6.45. (Not sleeping much the night before didn't help.)

I know now why i am not cooking much. I know i need to cook. It is so much healthier for both of us. When i was eating meat that was a large portion of what the meal was, often we didn't even have a side dish. I'm finding that cooking vegetarian, gluten-free, & no energy is a combination i'm really struggling to get past. Even simple meals are a challenge for me.

I know, i know i should have said, "J, i can't do this. I have to go lie down." But i couldn't bring myself to do it. I honestly don't believe that she will understand & it would be discussed all thru the family. I've been in the family long enough to know that she would tell everyone she knows. But the only way around it was to push, push, push myself, & it was so very hard. I'm just not ready to have the disabilities i fight discussed by everyone i know. But the honest truth is i just feel like crying about this.

I did sleep better last night & went to bed fairly early.

We all went together to church today & drove around the lake & then stopped for breakfast/lunch. Then they left to go home not long after we got back to Sugarbear.

It had been our plan to stay for "fellowship" at church, but i was so disgusted with our pastor i couldn't bring myself to stay. And my ILs didn't want to either.

I long ago decided that anything preached from the pulpit (short of reading of the scripture) is the preacher's opinion & nothing more. And the opinion today - was to lamblast a visitor. The Gospel was on the woman who gave two mites. And also some Lutheran related folks were there talking about a program rather like a bank where you invest money & make fairly good interest & the money invested goes to church growth.

Our pastor went off in the homily about how the church is not a bank & such programs are not properly part of the mission. I was angry with our pastor & embarrassed for the folks who simply were there to let this program be known. The pastor apologized to them several times saying, "No offensive intended." But he WAS offensive. Saying that is rather like hitting somebody & then saying, "Oh, sorry, i didn't mean to," and then turning around & doing it again.

What is more, every time my ILs have gone to our church our pastor has done something that is offensive. He has criticized the Catholic church (my ILs are Catholic) or something similar, but today was simply over the top. I sat thru the service thinking, "THIS is where i feel called to be? Really Lord, this is where i belong?" But then he turns around & can be so gentle with folks, so loving & kind. He prayed for me specifically at the communion rail & another lady as well. And, i have to remind myself that being stretched & challenged is part of living, learning, & growing, but sometimes i do so wish it didn't happen so often.

My L eye was bothering me yesterday. I put it down to being tired & my contacts bothering me. It was kind of "weepy" - i kept having tears & mucus in my eye. Then this AM it was still causing problems. So i've washed it out several times today with Colloidal Silver & not worn my contacts. Probably will do the same tomorrow. It hasn't been "weepy" since i first started washing it out, but it still hurts a bit. I may have to consider seeing on optometrist to be sure there is nothing in it, but i think it can wait a day or two.

We have been watching several different programs recently. We like SciFi & similar things & a number of programs as such are on currently. We record them & stretch them over the week one or two a day. (Most of those programs seem to be on Thur or Fri.) One of the programs Duane likes is Sanctury. I never have cared for that one all that much tho i watch it to be with him. If we have a lot of programs recorded it seems he will usually choose that. I tell my self that at least then it will be "over" with ! And i was ok with the program, i didn't hate it or anything, it just didn't catch me. And it seems rather shallow & over-blown with a false seriousness.

Yesterday, however, that program really jumped the shark for me. Magnus went forward in time finding that some virus had been released & it was turning folks into crazies & worse. I was impatient with the storyline. I've never been a fan of zombie movies & that is essentially what this was. Not that i was frightened or even nervous about the thing. I was simply waiting for it to be over. I can't see that program lasting too long if they don't manage to get a better storyline going.

Blah, blah, blah ! My opinion for the day. :)

230