I will never . . .

. . . totally trust a weather prediction again. (It seems to have become a habit to do these extended titles.)

This week had been predicted to be a severe storm system. Several days of heavy snowfall & blizzard conditions. I honestly know better than to trust long-range predictions. They frequently just don't happen. The system passes north or south of us. It rarely develops the way the soothsayers claim it will.

This storm series didn't play out either. Heavy on Monday, nothing the rest of the week. We are getting a little precipitation now, rain. The temp is 39F & it is not cold enough to make it snow. There is a strong, nasty wind out, so it probably feels colder than the temp shows.

Monday's storm was bad with poor visibility & blizzard conditions for a while. But never as bad as predicted & 16 inches of snow isn't a huge amount.

But for some reason this time around i was freaked.

I've been in more pain the last few weeks & not sleeping very well. That seems to effect my pain tolerance & ability to handle other things as well. The last time i saw the acupuncturist, the second needle sent me thru the roof (or at least to the second floor) & she had to use "baby needles" on me. And i caught one hair on a zipper & thought i was going to die. I'm being quite a baby & having a hard time tolerating things.

We moved to Big Bear in February of 2007 & had some snow after we moved. Counting that, we are going into our 4th snow season here. And, years ago, i drove for 5 winters in Montana. (The driving age in Montana is young. I was driving - legally - from age 14-1/2.) So when we moved to the snow here i was quite calm & at ease.

I don't know what happened to me Monday. Except that everything seems to be magnified. I was able to clearly imagine the awful accident i would get us into, either in the snow or driving in the rain with the crazy So Cal drivers. (In general, there are no better drivers than those in Los Angeles/Orange county. Considering how many folks are on the road we have a minimum of bad accidents. But all that is cancelled in weather. These folks don't know to slow down & give more room. And accidents multiply in rain.)

But i think also i knew (not consciously really) how exhausted i'd become by the two parties last week & church on Sunday & i just didn't feel i had the stamina to face traveling in the storms predicted. Monday we went to town for a little while. Well, we only went to this side of town & it took much longer than normal & i knew i wouldn't be able to navigate that the next day.

Also add in the mix: I require 24 hours notice of cancellation of my clients. I feel i need to hold myself to the same standard. The fact is, however, the folks i see regularly don't abuse this. I've had some who "just forgot" & in doing so cost me $ because i could have scheduled someone during that time but not one of my regulars. The folks i see now are all regulars & treat me well. So last week i felt i needed Lori (the office person) to notify folks with the 24 hour notice. But Tuesday dawned fair & Duane felt he really needed to be down the hill & we went anyway - after i'd cancelled folks.

I think what i'll do is put up a small notice at work that i may not be able to give notice until Tuesday AM. So often we don't know what travel will be like until the time comes. I could have seen my folks anyway (there were only two) but i also knew that if we were going down & i was so tired already, i wouldn't be well enough to see them. So i never went to the office at all last week, even tho i was in OC.

I did get to see my sis for "our Christmas" before she flies to KY next week. And i did get much of my Christmas shopping done, mostly for Duane's nieces & nephews. I've still a little left. And i rested, & rested, & rested. Because i was exhausted.

Duane had a hard week. His company recently moved to a larger building. He's been busy doing all kinds of things related to that. But he had a computer - an important computer - go down on Wednesday & he spent hours & hours trying to get that functional again. We didn't leave until much later on Thursday than we wanted. And - i've said before that we don't drive the mountain after dark? Thursday we did. Duane wanted to return the back-back way. It didn't require chains. But it is a very windy (not windy but wine-dee) road that way. I don't drive it often. It adds about an hour to our drive. Tho chains were not required & i drove slowly we hit several patches of ice going around the curves & i was near to my breaking point by the time we got to the top. I NEVER want to travel that road after dark again. At least i know the road we normally travel & it doesn't have the extreme hairpin curves of that road into the desert.

Dear Friend Dawn told me a couple of months ago that i may reach the place where i can't go down the hill any more. That i might reach the point that i can't work. While i respect what she is saying to me, i desperately want that not to happen. The trip with Duane every week is so vital to us. Neither of us would feel complete without it. It would so totally change the fabric of our life/lives together. And my work is important to me. It helps me as much as it helps the person with whom i'm working. I would feel totally empty without it.

That said, however, when i reach the point i did on Monday/Tuesday, i do need to respect my intuition & not go down. If that means occasionally i don't get to go with Duane, well that is better than not doing it at all.

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