As Duane's mom was angrily displaying the damage Bear had done, i could see a certain look in Duane's eye.
He told me later that he was afraid. He said if anyone, person or animal, had done that much damage to something Duane owned, he would have that amount of rage & want to kill them. He doesn't want to feel that way, but he knows himself.
I understand that a little bit, i guess.
These are my "daisy dishes." The pattern is actually "Brown-eyed Susan" made by Vernonware & date to about the Franciscan Apple & Desert Rose (or even a bit earlier, in the '30s), but they were never as popular. I had a few of the items & most of them we use every day, but chose to enlarge my collection of things like a pitcher & those shown above thru Ebay. I used to have a gravy boat up there with the others; it wasn't cheap. Jazz knocked it down & it shattered when we were in the rented house. I cried. Partly because i knew how it was expensive & difficult to find & i couldn't afford to replace it. But partly too, because i knew there was no reason to replace it. It had never been used by me & probably never would be. How often does a vegetarian make gravy? And how could i justify buying another one to sit up on a shelf? (Ok, i just went & looked it up; it wasn't that expensive, but why should i buy it & not use it?)
These are my good dishes. Due to certain circumstances, i nearly lost them some time ago. I think them very beautiful & they are even older than the daisy dishes, probably dating sometime between 1920-1925. Someone kept them for me for a few years (after i almost lost them, so that i wouldn't lose them for i had nowhere to store them). They are not dishwasher safe; washing them in the dishwasher etches the pattern. I appreciate that the person who kept them for me checked it out & realized that she had to do them by hand, but, the dish she ran thru to check it (that got etched) was my favorite - an odd-shaped serving dish.
My point is that we all have things that we treasure. I love old things. I used to have a lot of them. I've gotten rid of most of them & these days try to keep only the things that matter to me the most. As a child i always admired these weird little blown glass animals that we saw when driving across the country. I wanted a collection of them, but i wasn't allowed.
These days i admire the collections other folks have, but prefer to admire them at their homes, or an antique shop or museum. I no longer desire to keep a lot of trinkets & baubles. That doesn't mean that if our house burnt down there aren't things i'd mourn & miss. Just that i try to hold on to them much more lightly than in my past. And that part of me doesn't understand the rage - & i do mean blind rage - that Duane & his mom seem to share about their damaged property.
Over a year ago someone backed into me in a parking lot & took out the front passenger door of the Honda. Duane's rage scared me & in some ways hurt me, too, for he was too angry to comfort me (i was in shock). I was very, very thankful he was not with me at the time. I wasn't happy about being backed into, but i had a lot of compassion for the lady. He son had recently been killed in Iraq & her dog had been run over the day before. (I believe that more should be done to educate folks on the risks of driving while severely stressed.) She took full responsibility for the accident & did everything possible for the repair to go smoothly. Duane forgave her & let go, but that rage still scared me.
I'm finding i'm afraid to drive "Duane's car." I was in town in the Subaru last week. Someone stopped abruptly in front of me. It wasn't even a near miss, but i realized that had i been distracted i would have hit them. That made my heart patter & i realized that i don't want to drive that car except when we're together & traveling back &forth from OC. (Even then Duane tends to shreik at near misses - which i don't have all that many of. It is usually someone cutting me off. I've told him he needs to stop it 'cause it distracts me when i shouldn't be distracted, but he can't seem to help it.) The thought of coming home to tell him i've had an accident with the Subaru is more than my courage can bear. Duane admitted that he worried the whole time i was gone. (I've not had an accident except being backed into the whole time i've known him. I don't have a history of accidents, i was in a serious one in 1989, & a number when my parents were driving when i was a kid.) My response was, "I told you it would be 4.30 or 5 before i was home. I wasn't late. ???"
I did ask him, mostly in jest, if i'll have to move to Mexico or Canada for a while if i ever have an accident in that car.
So, my way of handling this is to drive the Trooper. Period. A smaller car is much more convenient (the Trooper drives like a boat), but it isn't worth the worry.
I'm not sure i entirely "get" this. I do like nice things. I don't like my things to be damaged (particularly by someone else). I want to keep our cars nice.
But when it is all said & done, a car is a tool to get from point A to point B. Money can be used or abused. Things are nice to look at, but people are more important. (But that doesn't relieve the fear that i'll do something to mess up Duane's car.)
Make no store of wealth for yourselves on earth, where it may be turned to dust by worms and weather, and where thieves may come in by force and take it away.
Matthew 6:19 Bible in Basic English