There's No Place Like Home

I so agree with Dorothy's sentiment on this one!

The birds are wondering where their feeder is. Duane built this of venting material because the "cheap" plastic ones i got from Kmart (for $20 each) would get brittle & shatter when the squirrels knocked them down. This reminds me a lot of the chicken feeders my Granddad had in his chicken shed. (That makes it sound small. It was not; it was more like a warehouse!)

Anyway, the feeder is down but not damaged. I don't think the squirrels did this . We had high winds yesterday. I'd put it back up, but i'm out of seed. Need to get more.

I had had an appointment with a RE for the 17th, but changed my mind on which doc. The one i changed to came highly recommended by two sources, one of which - Kathie, is the acupuncturist i work with. Also, i very much want to stick to natural products, herbs, supplements where possible. (For blood thinning they usually prescribe aspirin & a script Rx. I'm hoping to use garlic, vitamin E, & other things instead.) Because i react so badly to most meds (if there is something that .05% of the folks show as a side effect, it will usually be me in that category) & many meds react off each other as well, i'm better off sticking to natural where i can & using drugs only for what is absolutely necessary. Kathie said this doc is more likely to work with me than any other. And the other referral, Mary, who was a patient said he was willing to work with her when others wouldn't. She said they feared a failure would ruin their statistics. She now has a beautiful 2-1/2 YO daughter.

This has me deeply concerned, of course, as in general i don't trust MDs or what they do as standard protocol or practice. However, i must say that since setting the appointment i feel more calm. (For a few hours now at least.) What will be will be. I can't make it happen. Duane can't make it happen. The MD can't make it happen. Even if we try no one on Earth can MAKE it happen. It is fate, or chance, or circumstance, or God. I trust in God.

I guess the Vatican has condemned these procedures. Of course, i'm not Catholic (at least not yet). But the way i see it, if we "adopt" an embryo, we are simply giving life to a child that might not otherwise live. It is like adopting a child, except i'm carrying the child. No state in the country yet recognizes embryo "adoption." Some agencies that place embryos with potential parents require homestudies, but it is agency policy. States, at this time, consider embryos "property." And, again, even being chosen to carry an embryo will be a miracle in itself, for there are more people wanting them than are giving them.

And, this is going to sound judgemental, but i do not want our baby quest to become this: I will go to hell & back to have my baby. I will do whatever it takes. That is a quote from a blog i have been following who is full out on the baby quest. She is a Christian. But she wants a baby from her & her hubby no matter what it takes. I'm afraid to take it there, because for me, that would be running ahead of God, & telling him what i must have. The truth is that my frequent prayer is that if we are to take another path, or to remain childless, that God will make this clear to me & help me to accept it.

Mac is in a funny mood. He jumped from the laundry container to the top of the gas heater. Then down on the book shelves. He is a good jumper, but there is no other way for him to get to the top of the bookshelves, it is just too high & too distant from the laundry rack. Jazz heard what Mac had done, & when Mac got down, Jazz - fussing the whole time - repeated Mac's antics.

They are so funny! Mac was about 1-1/2 years old when we brought Jazz home at 8 weeks. Jazz likes the people OK, but it is Mac he emulates in every way he can. If Mac does something, Jazz is right behind doing it too. Just like a little brother. When he was really small & couldn't do what Mac was doing, he would fuss & fuss & fuss. And if we pick Mac up now Jazz fusses. He's not jealous. He doesn't want to be picked up, but he also doesn't want Mac where he can't be.

Mac is about 14 or 15 lbs. Jazz isn't quite as big in bone structure & probably weighs about 10 or 11 lbs. By himself Jazz would be a big cat, but we can't help compare him to Mac, so Jazz is our "little cat."


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