My favorite folks ! :)

14 May 2010

So far, so good

Two days done, two days to go.  

I was pretty exhausted after lunch today, but then we did some work on each other (this is a "hands on" class) & i felt much better & managed the rest of the day.  

Duane will be down tomorrow & we go to dinner with Sis #3, F, & some of their friends.  Sis & i had dinner together last night, too.

Someone i know is here as well.  She is in the CST II class (more advanced).  I've traded with "C" a couple of times in the past.  She seems excited to see me, but i'm afraid the feeling isn't mutual.

Our energy levels do not match at all, & when she worked on me, i found that she didn't listen to my needs.  

Her energy simply makes me tired because there is no way for me to enlighten her to my exhaustion.  She just doesn't "get it."  

One thing i find when i am being worked on is that i need the therapist to work SLOW.  That is the only way my body accepts the work.  If it is not done that way, it just is not effective for me.  I've been amazed at the number of people i've had massage from who work at a break-neck speed.   What they are doing at that speed is sports massage, & that is not appropriate to most of the population!

I told C over & over as she worked on me that i needed her to slow down.  She kept justifying her speed by saying, "But you need so much work!  We have so much to get done, if i go slow we won't cover it all."  But the fact is, i'd rather have 1/4 of me get work done that is effective than to have all of me "done" but with no effectiveness at all.  

I'm horrible at telling people that things aren't working for me.  We stopped trading because our schedules didn't match.  I was relieved.  Someone today, learning she was from OC, asked if she was a good therapist because they needed someone they could refer to.  There just isn't a good answer to that.  First, i don't think she is a good therapist because she works much too fast.  But more important, i don't think she's a good therapist because she doesn't listen.

I hate saying that because i feel so critical.

And i've mixed feelings about the "doesn't listen" stuff.

About 3 years ago i had someone come to me for massage.  She has Fibromyalgia.  She wanted deep work done.  I felt very strongly that we should not do deep work.  I tried & i tried to talk her out of it.  But she insisted that was what she wanted done.

I try to honor folks for knowing their bodies.  I encourage people to listen to what their bodies are telling them.  And, "the customer is always right."  Every part of my therapist self was saying this is a bad idea, but i gave into her pressure & did as she asked.    

I contacted her a couple of days later about a different issue, but asked how she was doing.  Horribly, she replied.  She felt better for an hour or two & then much, much worse.  It wouldn't work for her, she said, & she wouldn't be returning.

I was incensed!  I felt that in fairness she should at least return & allow me to do the work i felt we should have been done in the beginning.  There are modalities that are very appropriate & effective for Fibromyalgia; deep work is not.  I felt it was completely unfair that she would hold me accountable for something she insisted that i do!

So, if i had refused to do that work in the beginning, she probably would have walked out & refused to let me work on her.  But, as i did the work she asked & she didn't have the result she desired, she wouldn't return.  I couldn't win.  Either way i lost a client.  

It did teach me.  I have a policy that i simply won't do deep work on a Fibromyalgia patient, especially not the first time out.  

I do still want to listen to my clients & to honor their feelings & desires, but i will never again go against my strong gut feeling as a therapist.  I might lose a client over it - & i would/will feel badly about that - but i won't compromise what i know to be right. 

Anyway, those are the things that have come up for me emotionally this weekend.  It isn't as big a deal as this makes it sound.  I do just hope that i can come up with a polite but non-critical way to tell her that it just doesn't work for me.  (Of course, part of me says that what my criticism is based on is from a year ago & maybe she has learned . . . but part of me says that such thinking falls into the "fool me twice" category.)



Amrita said...

Sorry to hear that your therapist experience was unpleasant. She should listen to you.In India most theraputic massages are slow and gentle.And we have all kinds of ayurvedic - herbal oils and pastes.

A doctor told me not to do any massage for my artthritis, sometimes I getly massage myself with oil when the pain is unbearable.

I got a lady to massage my Mom' s legs (unprofessiobnal) but she was pressing too hard so we asked her to stop.

Hope the last 2 days are good for you

justme said...

good for you for listening to your cannot be responsible for their reactions to you doing what they told you. there is nothing worse than having a massage when someone doesn't listen to what you want. i had one the other day that just did shiatsu type massage and that was about the last thing i wanted.

Jessica Renshaw said...

Another good reason for refusing, even if you lose the client, is because you know it will make her feel and make her actually be worse. So you're doing her a favor and even if she doesn't recognize that, it's a legitimate reason for refusing.

Love ya both,

Kathryn said...

Amrita, i'm so sorry the doc told you this. It seems massage would be just the thing to do. You need to listen to your health care provider, tho. Thank you for the well wishes. :)

Just Me - i do try to listen to clients, but i think there are times when i need to listen to my own gut as well. This obviously didn't help her, as i thought it would not. It is frustrating when a client won't let you follow your instinct, but i try to honor their wishes & instinct, too. (I'm not very fond of Shiatsu, either, tho i've been trained in it. It can be very effective for pain, however.)

Thanks, Jes. I wish i had listened to my "inner wisdom." I learned a lot from that experience, however.

Love ya back. :)