Really! Do i have to know this? I don't have a slim figure or a pregnant body or children to justify the lack of slim figure. :(
I think it human tendency to do a "one-upsmanship" of pain on one another. I went to lunch with a dear, sweet lady not too long ago. I spoke of the pain of remaining childless. She sympathized, but came off with, "Well at least you didn't have 4 just to see 2 of them die."
She's right. I didn't. But, of course part of me responds (not verbally to her), "Well, at least you had the joy of their birth & their raising, & giving your husband children, even if you had the sorrow of losing them. At least you got to be called 'mama' even with the sorrow that came. I never had any of that & i never will."
Why is it we do these things? I said once to someone after being asked if we had children, "No, God hasn't blessed us that way." Her response was, "If you don't have children, don't blame God. There are lots of children out there needing homes. !!!
She didn't know me. She didn't know my circumstances. Yet she felt free to lecture me on something which was 1. not her business & 2. not comprehending the complexity in our "choice."
It hasn't felt like a choice to us. It is something imposed on us by circumstance.
Why do we do this to each other? "My pain is so much worse than yours."
I'm no better. If i responded (which i will not), it would be essentially saying, "You think you know pain, little girl? Wait. You will never know that much pain. Just imagine being more than twice your age, no children, no slim body, & knowing you will never, ever know the joy of having a child. Never to be called 'mama.' All those years waiting for something that will never come. Don't go sniveling to me about how your body is expanding with your baby. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear, 'ick, none of my clothes fit anymore! This is getting really depressing.' Keep it to yourself!"
Lack of empathy is not helpful of course. But i do think there is the tendency in us to say, "At least you had __________." ("I'm so much worse off.")
I don't have an answer to this, except to try to focus to keep myself "content whatever the circumstance." (Philippians 4:11) And continually having an attitude of thankfulness helps with this. Still, at times it is hard not to complain. That's why i need to stop here. Anything more i might say would not only be non-PC, but might get downright rude.