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23 April 2009

Difference

What a difference a couple of days can make!

We arrived home yesterday to find spring had bloomed! I took pics on the 17th showing things on the verge, but not quite there.

It was hot down the hill while we were there (think i complained about that) but beautiful at home. A couple of days in the 60s, & look at
all the beauty we returned to! (Gonna have to limit my pics here. I took a lot.)

My pics didn't show it well so i'm not putting them on, the roses & lilacs have leaves. This pic is a non-fruit plum. They are used in this area a lot as an ornamental tree. When it gets leaves they will be a burgundy color. The truth is, neither Duane nor i like this tree. If i'm going to have a blooming tree, i want it to have fruit! And, even tho it is "contrast," neither of us like a burgundy tree. However, it is very pretty when it blooms. I think part of my dislike is that i was so excited last year to have a blooming tree & so i expected fruit. When i learned that it is ornamental only i felt cheated. (As mentioned before, we got no fruit from any of our trees last year. A late freeze killed them all.)






This tree is a peach tree according to a neighbor. The blooms sure don't look like my other two peach trees. This looks like an apple or pear to me. The tree i know to be an apple hasn't started blooming quite yet.










This is one of two peach trees, according to my neighbor. I didn't have much hope of it last year even before the freeze. It didn't even bloom much last year & i saw no fruit forming. But then, it also had not been watered for some time. This house was foreclosed on & sat empty for a long, long time. We watered consistently last year, & it looks so much healthier!




I can now see the beginnings of buds in the tulips in the front (where people can actually see them!) This is not that one.






These are the "hidden" tulips in the back yard. Aren't they gorgeous?











A few days can make other changes as well.

I mentioned seeing the chiro here in BB last week. He told me my thyroid was not working properly. While i do not doubt him, i don't see him consistently. So i decided to have Dean, the one i work with, check me. He's done this before, but i've not had it done for a long time, a year or more.

Because i consider kinesology a subjective test, i try not to give too much input in advance. I just asked to be screened mentioning thyroid & adrenals. He asked if anything was going on & my response was that i'm Just.So.Tired. A minute into it he asked if i've had my heart checked. I responded, no, but i've been having arrhythmia for 9 months or so & it makes me tired.

Long & short of it is he found my heart extremely challenged. While my thyroid & adrenals are somewhat stressed, he felt this is secondary to heart. When my heart is healthier & functioning more fully, the thyroid & adrenals won't be so stressed.

This actually makes sense. Dawn, my "go to girl & all around information source" had sent me some info recently. Evidently it is quite common for folks with chronic fatigue to also have Diastolic Cardiomyopathy. Conventional medicine finds this difficult to test for, & they have no treatment for it. This is part of the reason exercise is so hard for folks with chronic fatigue. I don't retain info all that easily these days. I'd read what she sent at least twice, but i'm not sure i still have a full understanding.

Anyway, Dean gave me some supplements to support my heart & help it heal. From what he said, on one of the supplements the normal dose is 2 tabs. I tested positive for 9. However, as i heal that number will come down. The plan, right now, is for me to give this a month or 6 weeks & then be retested to see if i'm improving. (Although i should know that sooner by being less tired & having less arrhythmia.) If i've not improved in that amount of time, i may revisit the idea of seeing a M.D. Not a preference of mine. I don't trust conventional medicine much at all. Don't currently have a M.D., & so don't know how i'd go about finding one. When i recently had an issue what i did was go to a walk-in-clinic & had them do testing. Then self-treat with herbs from the acupuncture doc & other supplements.

Over all, however, to me this is GOOD news. I've been so very tired & so assumed that the issue was Epstein-Barr & chronic fatigue, about which conventional medicine can do nothing, & alternative medicine works at it but it can be a challenge. This gives me hope that i can improve.

Part of the reason i have been so down on having children recently has been how extreme the fatigue has become. It has been going on for many years for me, but has been worse since the miscarriage, & much much worse the past 2 years. Taking care of little ones (or even bigger ones) takes energy, & i have none. If this actually works, maybe there is hope for us. Maybe pregnancy, but more likely adoption. With my energy level so very low, i didn't think even adoption was an option, but maybe, maybe. I'm more hopeful now.
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On a little of a downer note, i occasionally do "out-call" massage where i go someplace like a B&B, all my equipment to be carried in. I can't do this often as it totally wears me out. (Massage in my office is not so hard. I'm already set up, & honestly, it is as if i'm doing what i'm "suppose" to be doing. God gives me the energy i need, most of the time.) Even when Duane goes & helps me set up i find this type of work much more draining, so i limit doing this. I'd make pretty good money if i did it frequently, but i'd also burn out fast.

Yesterday i got a call from the person who refers some of this work to me. It is for an appt on Sunday PM. I've a couple of issues with this. First, i don't usually work on Sundays. Second, with my fatigue i'm very hesitant to agree. Third, Sunday is the day i'm doing a lot of prep to go down the hill on Monday, & throwing in something extra often stresses me. Fourth, i currently have a headache & that makes me hesitant to agree to anything. Fifth, i'm scared. I'm just so tired & i'm afraid to commit to this.

So i kind of asked Duane's permission not to do it. I didn't get the feeling he thought doing it a bad idea. I can't help but wonder if money is the driving issue, or if he thinks i'm just not pushing myself hard enough, or if he just really doesn't get how exhausted i am all the time. Honestly, just keeping up with laundry & some minor kitchen work is taking all i have.

I need to let the guy know today about whether i can do this, & i'm very torn.
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The women of the church get together once a month for lunch. We call it the "birthday luncheon" celebrating all the BDs that month, but often we have none. We just go to lunch together. It is today. I spent about an hour on the phone last night calling folks to get a head count. We've 9 confirmed, another 3-4 possible. We usually have about 11. Phone calling isn't bad if folks just tell me "Yes" or "No." But some seem to think they've got to go into great detail why they can't come. I'm only calling so i can make a reservation with the resturant, not to beat them up for not coming!

However, the two ladies with whom i spent the most time are folks that i think are really lonely or really frustrated (one has been ill & in a lot of pain) & so i see taking the time to listen is as much ministry as anything else i do. If nothing else i'm a distraction for a little while, & sometimes that is a good thing.

Just hope the migraine is better by then. :)

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8 comments:

Joey said...

Hi Kathryn. I like the flowers on your trees. I hope you feel better soon.

Curly Muse said...

Kathryn- I am so happy that spring has bloomed.. we dont really get that here in South Florida.

A thought: How you are feeling (physically) may be affecting fertility (I am no doctor) in that maybe if you were to be pregnant and have a full pregnancy, the birth might be too much for your body to handle,,, I dont know.. Maybe its a way for God to protect you from something bad happening. I know its not fair.. I know that people get abortions ( I am not judging) and then there are those who really want a pregnancy. Life is like that... People reach old age with a healthy body and then lose their minds, or people have an unhealthy body and their minds are intact. I dont have the answers. but I do feel for you and wish you the very best.

Stacey said...

Love, love, love your tulips! So pretty!

Amrita said...

Wow beautiful fresh spring. Looks so good to me.

Rosemary said...

Hello! Oh, your spring has sprung and beautifully too! Sending you happy, sunshiney positive waves from the East Coast.

HUGS!

David said...

or I could call you

Michelle (hometc) said...

Your trees are beautiful. Just like where you live. Sorry to hear you're not feeling well, I can relate. Hope you feel better soon, and here is something that will hopefully brighten your day. I met you at the UBP this year and was inspired by your blog. That's why I have nominated you and your blog for the Attitude of Gratitude Award. Please stop by my blog,
Home Decorating News
and read the post, Attitude of Gratitude Award. Keep up the good work, Kathryn!

Paige said...

I hope the supplements help!

I tagged you over at my blog! http://www.babydustdiaries.com/2009/04/tagged-8-meme.html