My favorite folks ! :)

17 October 2009


If you came for the give away the post is here.

(Give away closes tonight.)

Duane has been planning for the SAR City weekend for a couple of months. Has been excited about it. We've talked so much about it.

Somehow he got the date wrong in his head. It was last weekend. I can't begin to state how disappointed he is, & i as well. I know how much he wanted to be part of it. We were rather glum last night.

The doc & his wife & daughter (M is 9 months) did stop by yesterday. They like our house. We sent them away with firewood & apples. And i was touched deeply that they'd bother to come. So many don't.

I saw this meme at another blog (Stacey's Thoughts on Infertility) & i'm going to do it. It is something apropos for our anniversary - that was last month.

What are your middle names? Duane's is Lee, & mine is Roux.

How long have you been together? Ah, 6-1/2 years. Married 5 + 1 month.

How long did you know each other before you started dating? Ah, a week? Something like that.

Who asked who out? Um, i think it was kind of mutual. When we first met we talked about "doing something together."

Who made the first move? Not sure exactly what this means . . . i think he did. He was kind of teasing me & then . . .

How old are each of you today? Not going to share this!

Did you go to the same school? No.

Are you from the same home town? No.

Who is the smartest? Definitely he is. Let's just say he is eligible for MENSA. I'm not stupid (usually) but his IQ is in the stratosphere.

Who majored in what? He has an AA degree, not sure in what. I've a BA & part of a master's in Psych, & a second major in Bible.

Who is the most sensitive? Think we're pretty equal here.

Where do you eat out most as a couple? Um, hum. Several places. For a quick bite we usually go to Mountain Munchies. For a nicer place we like Peppercorn.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? Until this summer, our honeymoon in Yellowstone & Montana. Now, the trip to KY, TN, & around.

Who has the worst temper? Depends on what you mean as "worst." We both tend to freeze & not talk until it passes & then try to work out the problem. I'd say i probably get mad more, but usually don't say anything so he isn't aware.

How many children do you want? Sad question, this. We'd like two. Pretty much not going to happen.

Who does the cooking? When it gets done, i do. If i'm not well enough he microwaves frozen stuff.

Who is more social? He is. Most definitely. He's much more comfortable approaching people & does well in all situations.

Who is the neat-freak? Sadly, neither of us. I do have thoughts of perfection but don't uphold them. We are pretty equal on clutter.

Who is the most stubborn? Honestly, i don't know. I suppose we each have our minor quirks, but this isn't one that has come up.

Who wakes up earlier? Oh, i do. Most definitely.

Where was your first date? Church! Our church down the hill has a noon Wednesday service & we went. Then went for lunch afterward. He showed up at my door with a single red rose & baby's breath. I dried & saved the baby's breath to wear in my hair at our wedding, but in the confusion of the day i forgot it. The weekend following our first date we went to the Renaissance Faire together.

Who has the bigger family? We each were raised with 2 siblings. Now he has step siblings also. Our mothers both came from families of 11 children, but my dad came from a big family too. His dad (who died about 9 years ago) was from a small family. Now, with the step family his "dad" side is bigger than before. Short answer, my family is bigger.

Do you get flowers often. No. (Not since that first rose.) Oops, that's not true. He bought me some flowers on our honeymoon, & i think one other time he brought me some, but long ago. Is ok. I've got him!

How do you spend the holidays? With his family, tho my sis that lives out here sometimes joins us if she is in town.

Who is more jealous? Jealous? Um . . . what would we have to be jealous of? I adore him & i don't think he . . . Jealous?

How long did it take you to get serious? A month? Three weeks? Honestly, from the beginning we fit together so well it almost scared me. We didn't talk about "serious" for about 4 months, tho. (Very early on we were going somewhere & a song came on the radio - one with a long intro. "Oh, i love this song!" I said. He said "I think it is too early for that." It was "White Wedding" by Billy Idol. I was quite embarrassed for i thought it was a different song - & never cared that much for this one.)

Who eats more? Weird question. I think he does. Neither of us are that much into food. I snack a lot on fruit through out the day.

What do you do for a living? He is "Database Manager" & all around computer & fix it guy. I'm a (very) part time massage therapist.

Who does the laundry? I do. But i think he should put it away after i've folded it. Last week i put a stack on his side of the bed & asked him to. The next morning i saw it was gone & was very proud of him for doing it. Until i made the bed & found it hidden under his pillow!

Who is better with the computer? You need to ask? He is.

Who drives when you're together? Depends. Going up & down the mountain i almost always drive. When we're driving around in town he almost always does.

What's your song? I don't know that we really consider that we have one, but we danced to "The Glory of Love" at our reception.

I was thinking about this just the other day, as i was listening to that song.
I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of
We'll live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love
I think most relationships start out with this high ideal, then often find that life degrades them. But, if you are really lucky & work hard at it, i believe that something real can be built under this castle of clouds & the dream continues. And, i've been blessed with that.



Land of shimp said...

I'm just catching up with your blog, Kathryn :-) You've got some lovely pictures up. I'm sorry about the date confusion for the Search and Rescue weekend, that's just maddening when that sort of thing happens.

Reading your posts below reminded me of something. I would guess that you and Duane are not big Jon Stewart fans, so you may not have caught this. Last week during one of Jon's interview segments the guest was an author whose name I don't remember, unfortunately I don't precisely remember the title of the book, but I do remember the premise. It went something like, "How Positive Thinking Has Ruined America" ...which sounds just dreadful, doesn't it? Like something written by a true curmudgeon. However, the author turned out to be a funny, reasonably cheerful woman.

She was talking about the dangers of things like believing in The Secret, and how the power of thought can attract things, etc. etc. I won't go into all of that but it turned out that the reason she started to develop these ideas into a book was that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer years ago. People kept telling her to "Embrace your disease, you'll need to be positive to beat this!" "You'll come out of this on the other side stronger!"

Essentially, she didn't want to embrace her disease, and she felt wretched due to the treatment of it. She didn't feel like thinking positively and resented the very forceful insistence from others that she had to manifest a good attitude, while she felt like crap, and if she didn't, they were suggesting (basically) that she would not be well.

That the response showed a shocking lack of empathy from other people. That she couldn't think of anything more ridiculous than telling someone who couldn't sit still for five minutes straight without needing to vomit, that she had to be positive.

She was making me laugh, but she also had a good point. When people go through very harsh things, there is a lot of pressure to "Be positive!" from society when really, there's no proof (and actually proof to the contrary) that there is any credence to the term, "The power of positive thinking!"

Some things are deeply sad, and painful. You aren't failing, or adopting the wrong feeling when you say, "Hey, infertility? Is painful on every known level." It's painful. It's okay to feel sad about truly sad things. It's okay to get angry also.

It's okay to have emotions entirely appropriate to the circumstances.

Amrita said...




lisa said...

That was a very nice post to read!

Stacey said...

FUN! I'm glad you decided to do this!

Two things:
1. Your middle name is cool! That would go over well in my home state of Louisiana. Makes me want gumbo right now. :)
2. That laundry story made me laugh! Sneaky, sneaky.