A friend asked if i was going to blog while on vacation. The truth is i didn't know.
Thus far most of what we have done has been driving or visiting. And we haven't had great internet service.
But i've taken lots of pictures. (Tho not, i've discovered, as many as i would have liked. We only got 4 of my Montana Mom's place, and i would have taken many more.)
This has been part of my view while lying down. Lying at least 2 hours a day while traveling has made an enormous difference. In fact, at one point i thought maybe i was getting "better" or "well" i was doing so great. Until i spent one day up the whole time. That re-arranged my ideas.
But i have been doing quite well on this trip.
We were worried that we could get in trouble for me lying while traveling, but that worry was unfounded.
First off, i do wear a seat belt. I don't think it would do much for me when lying, but we are sticking to the letter of the law. Second, i don't think a trooper could even see me. I lie much lower in the car than we realized. I can't see much from that position. I think sometimes the truckers driving semis can see me, but often i can't even see them. I only see the top of high cars (SUVs) when we or they pass.
This is the trading post (down the hill) from Custer's Battlefield. I'm surprised they call it that, for some years ago the name was changed for political correctness to The Little Bighorn Battlefield (saying, "Who would name it after the loser?!") But i guess it has been changed back.
Sunset from the same trading post.
This trip so far has been wonderful. I can't begin to tell it all. We camped one night and learned the difference between "water proof" and "water resistant" in our tent. We were pretty damp for the next couple of days.
We visited with some of Duane's childhood friends. We visited with some friends of my parents i'd not seen in years. We had a great visit with my mom and her husband Leo.
And then we got to Bozeman, my childhood home, last night.
This is the place for which i have been so homesick.
I've wonderful memories of the B&B where Duane and i honeymooned. We stayed in that top room of the turret when we were here before, but this time i really wanted a private bathroom!
This place is managed by someone different now, however. She is only in her 40s, but i think she is hard of hearing because i've had to repeat myself frequently. She doesn't seem to understand our humor, either, and responds to us with a blank stare.
When we arrived last night i told her i'd grown up here and she asked if i'd seen various places yet. We came straight here upon arriving, so i have not. She told us how it has been ruined and changed by "Californians with money" coming in and making a mess of things. Her favorite bumper sticker is one that says, "Save Montana. Put a Californian on the bus."
The only thing that surprises me about this is that the bumper sticker doesn't say anything about shooting or even more extreme than putting someone on the bus. I know of that attitude, it was prevalent when i lived here (although this woman didn't move to MT until after i had moved to CA). I had warned Duane of this attitude and think the downside of driving this trip is our CA license plates.
None the less, it wasn't the thing to say to us on arrival and it wasn't a very pleasant evening.
Also our cell phones don't work here and the internet doesn't extend to our room, so we have to be in the common room to use our computers online.
The evening did improve. This is the first that Duane and i have been alone where we could relax. Of course we have been in the car together. We have been listening to audio books part of the time while driving. I've loved visiting with folks, but i'm glad to have this downtime, too.
This is what we woke to this morning. We have had plenty of rain on this trip, but usually it is a quick-moving storm that passes and then there is lovely sunshine again.
This storm looks like it is here to stay for a while. It is raining steadily now.
They say "you can't go home again." In one sense i think that is true. I think it depends upon what you are "looking for" when going home. I can't regain what i had when i was 18 (no one can). But it is a beautiful place to visit and i do love it here.
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Interesting that Ron, from The Old Geezer blog, just wrote about "burnout." The first thing on the list is that frequency of blogging slows down.
Huh.
I have had plenty on my mind of which to write. I just haven't wanted to write what i've been thinking.
I also have been overwhelmed by my reader list. I have not routinely read the blogs i follow for about a month now.
People blog for different reasons. I write because i love writing, and also because i have a deep desire to connect with people. I've been hit and miss with that in blogging. There are blogs where i try to make that connection, but the writer never seems to respond to me. If it is a blog where i find the content very interesting, i will continue to read anyway. Otherwise, in time i take them off my blog list.
The list of blogs i was regularly reading was very, very long. I think i had something like 120 blogs i was following. I have spent today culling the list. The thing is, i don't want to "lose" any of those. Some of them have very good info on eating gluten free or on gardening or green living. But i found the daily list too overwhelming.
So i went thru the list today. The blogs i read regularly and interact with the writers stayed on my "daily read" list. The blogs of people i care about but don't interact with frequently, or the blogs of folks with babies - and i just can't take that daily - or the blogs of info i want access to read but not to show up daily have all been moved to another Google account. I can access them when i need, but they won't be showing up daily and overwhelming me.
I'm left with a very manageable 56 blogs i follow, but most of these do not post daily. A couple of them post very infrequently but i'm afraid if i move them to the other account i will miss the times they do post, and i don't want that. I would guess there are only about six or seven that do daily posts. Probably about 20 that do two or three posts a week, and the rest are occasional people. If i read your blog (in the past) and comment, or you read mine and comment, you are in this regular reading list.
I'm hoping this will help it to be more manageable for me and that i'll be resuming reading blogs. Except, of course, we are getting ready to leave on a trip on Saturday, so i won't be doing much reading in the 10 days or so after that.
Part of the reason i've not been writing much is that i am frankly struggling with anger and bitterness. I am facing limitations that feel onerous to me, and are much more appropriate to a woman of 90 rather than one of 50. I have to face the fact that we are not going to have children - yes, i know i have been "facing this fact" for a long time, but it too is eating at me. I don't WANT to write in anger or bitterness. And so i have not been writing much at all.
What have i been doing? Well, a lot of knitting. Some crochet and other projects. I have learned to tat (finally). Tatting is not too hard, but there is one important part of it that takes a bit of practice to master. I've still been dieting. Thus far i have dropped 25 pounds (i didn't "lose it" because i certainly do NOT want to "find" it again!). I'd like to drop another 25, but it will take time. Still, i'm pleased that i'm getting into size 12 jeans now, but i would ultimately like to be in size 10 or really i'd like size 8. But i am very, very pleased to be losing as this has been a struggle in the past. But the dieting has been taking a fair amount of my energy, too.
I've also been looking for a doctor. It shouldn't be that hard, but i'm finding it to be.
I also learned more about the disability i'm fighting. I'll write more on it another time, but i've learned there are many, many people (many thousands) injured by the drug Cipro or others in its class. I am one of the lucky ones - i can still walk and drive and breathe on my own. Let me say, if a doctor recommends Cipro or another fluoroquinolone drug to you, DO NOT TAKE IT without doing extensive research. Doctors are not aware of the damage it does and give it for simple things like a cough or urinary tract infection. This class of drugs should be reserved for someone who is dying and has no other choice. The chance of serious harm from it is just too high otherwise. Some of the people harmed have been young, and they are no longer able to walk and sometimes even breathe without a ventilator. (One of my reasons for anger, recently.)
Oh, and of course i've been planning and preparing for our trip. I think i've been doing quite a lot of other things, too, but these things are what have come to mind.
I hope y'all are well, and i will be trying to visit and catch up with blogs this week.
I love you all! Thanks. :)
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I've a very busy morning, but i came across this at The Simple Dollar, and want to remember it:
Respect:
Respect does not mean belief that something is perfect. It merely means that you believe that something has value, flaws and all.
I think this a very valuable thing to keep in mind as i come across folks every day. He labels it as the opposite of contempt. I, of course, try to respect each person in my life, but i sometimes struggle with contempt with their ideas at time (making me feel superior, of course). It is the "flaws and all" part that caught me here.
My first client is here. Have a good day, everyone!
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I am doing very well with my 12 days of Christmas project. I figured it out, i am covering 21 people, so that comes to 252 small gifts! I am sticking to the same stuff for the kids - a pencil case, pencils/pen, a snowflake ornament, stickers, a flashlight, a tote bag, finger puppets, etc. For the adults i decided to do it a little differently. Three people are already complete (except i'm going to give candy one day and i'll wait until Oct/Nov to buy it).
Most of the tote bags i purchased inexpensively from eBay or other sources. I'm making a few. I still have 5 to make (my July project). My August project is finger puppets, and i have started, but it is going to be a project! I'm mostly doing animals - dogs, cats, birds, etc. I made an alpaca yesterday.
However, i already have almost all of September complete. October is just to buy some inexpensive stickers for the different ones. November is to make a necklace for the girls or a paracord bracelet for the boys. December is candy (for every one but the baby who will be 14 months old then). I'm anxious to have this all done and finished. So i'm working at this faster than the one-gift-a-month. My goal is to have it complete by Thanksgiving. Then i won't have to worry about much at all for Christmas (a couple of folks for whom we are not doing 12 days things). I also need to write up a small history of Christmas to send, so they will know the tradition behind this decision. And, need i say? i don't anticipate doing this again! But i'm having fun and i have decided that i probably want to have most of my Christmas gifts done in the summer in future years.
Here are the finger puppets i've finished so far. I think they're cute.
I also have decided i'd like to learn to tat. I have to admit that i don't see tatting nearly as useful or versatile as either knit or crochet (and i prefer to knit), but it has its own charm. Mostly it is used for lace. I have a tee shirt that i don't care for the way the collar is attached. I thought i could remove it and replace it with a small triangle of tatted lace. I can't say why i want to do this, except that i do!
So i purchased a tatting shuttle, extra bobbins, and tatting thread from eBay. They arrived and i've been playing with it and breaking thread. Tatting thread is quite fine. I am going to need to move to a coarser crochet thread to learn, i think. The whole point is to create knots on the "shuttle thread" that will slide. Somehow i'm creating knots that just knot, and then break when i try to slide them.
Okay, i've managed to make "a ring" now. I think i know the basic tatting knots. But i haven't been able to figure out how to go to the next one, attached. When i've tried before to go to the next ring, i can't get the shuttle hand to slide. I have found someone in Costa Mesa (where we stay in OC each week) who is giving beginning classes at Piecemakers (a quilting and craft shop) on weekends, but of course, i'm not there then. I left a message at her blog asking if she does private teaching.
I'm rather proud of my picots, by the way. They are the little loops and the instructions state that it can take some practice to get them a consistent size.
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life!
I've been busy. We had company a couple of times in July. I LOVE having company, but am not sure how much i will be able to do this in the future. I am running up against my limitations more frequently these days. I won't be able to do events (like the currently running OC fair or the BB Antique Car Show) any more without a wheelchair. I'm not sure how to make changes with company, but i need to. I tried doing a ladies Bible study recently and found that with my other obligations, getting ready to leave for OC the following day, and the timing - i can't do it. It simply takes all my energy.
So, i think i am trying very hard to come to terms with my life such as it is. And it IS a good life. I can still do so much, especially compared to others who are disabled. But it is also hard to run up against limitations of wanting to do something and simply not being able. I'm not talking about climbing mountains, either! Just gardening and visiting with friends.
I was talking with Duane on our drive down Tuesday. I was telling him that i don't think travel is something we will be able to do (other couples who are childless tend to travel quite a bit or have other activities in their lives). While discussing this i was hit with an overwhelming homesickness (i'm homesick for Montana mostly in the summer). It also occurred to me that as i seem to be losing functioning, if we don't do it now, we might never be able to. I could get better, i hope i get better, i want to get better, but there is the possibility i
could get worse.
So, if all things work out well, we are taking a quick trip to Montana late this month and early September. The plan is to actually camp 2-3 of those nights, to spend nights with friends/family 3 nights, and in a motel 2-3 nights. I don't know if we can do this, but i do know i want to try.
I've been on the search for a doctor. Not that i'm really hoping they can do much for me, but i do need this documented. Saw someone here in BB. Duane went with me and at first we both were pleasantly surprised with his answers - until i spoke of CFIDS/ME and disability. Then he let us know - reading between the lines but clear none the less - that he thinks the majority of people on disability are malingering. Oh. Thanks.
So i found another alternative med doc in OC, spent ten hours filling out her paperwork, and have hit a stall because i'm not willing to sign arbitration forms. I think it is largely a moot area, for i can't see myself ever suing anyone (haven't yet in my life). So, why not just sign them? Because it is signing away Constitutional rights and my position is that we have lost too many already and are losing more each day. I'm not willing to blithely sign them away. I am quite willing to sign releases on things individually. I'm happy to sign that i am aware that certain minerals, vitamins, and herbals are not "standard treatment" and that i'm willing to take the risk and other things like this. But not a free for all signing away my rights.
I have also come across numerous websites of fluoroquinoline antibiotic poisoning (Cipro and Levaquin are two of these). I had honestly thought it was the fluoride in the Cipro that did all the damage. It might very well be. But these antibiotics have done tremendous damage to many people. I was aware that they have caused tendon degeneration that people have had difficulty healing from, but there is much, much more. There is a black box warning on them about rupturing tendons and also "worsening of myasthenia gravis symptoms" - muscle weakness. In fact, i have to count myself one of the lucky ones because some of these folks are completely bed-bound, unable even to transfer themselves to a wheelchair without assistance.
(So, i wasn't able to load the pic i wanted, but this is what i use. You can find it at hCG 1234 website.)
On the positive side of this, i lost 15.5 pounds on the hCG diet and maintained the loss thru 3 weeks of "maintenance" and another week of "normal eating." I also discovered that sugar can trigger a migraine for me. And that gluten was probably doing more damage than i was willing to admit. So even "normal diet" will not be including sugar (much) or gluten, or probably grains much at all, except as the rare occasional treat. This is the diet i had been striving for, but was having such a hard time achieving.
I began round 2 this past Monday, the actual diet began on Wednesday. I have lost 3 pounds so far.
Duane did the first round with me and lost 20 pounds. I'm on my own this time as he has no more to lose. His mother is doing this, too, but she isn't following the diet very carefully and is not losing as fast. Still, in 3 weeks she lost 9 pounds and 7 inches (as measured by Curves). The lady at Curves was very excited, thinking she had done it by exercise alone.
So, i am very pleased to be losing weight for the first time in 10 years. I plan to do one more round after this one to get down to the weight i want to be. :) A nice benefit of the hCG drops is that i sleep better while taking them, too.
I've much more to say, of course. I always do! About my projects and other things, but this is already long and i'll save it for the next post.
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For this short post and that i've not been replying to your lovely and kind comments. I have meant to.
This has been such a busy week, and i've company coming tomorrow afternoon thru Sunday about noon. I've extra company (that i'd not planned to have) coming for just the day Saturday, but they've not seen our house yet, so i need to get caught up on so many things!
I'm days behind in blog reading, and will be farther behind yet. Sigh. But i generally do catch up eventually.
Hope you all are well and please know i appreciate so much everyone who takes the time to comment.
BTW, our lows this week have been in the 30s (F). Monday night/Tuesday AM the low was 32! In the middle of July! Such a surprise. Oh, and i've maintained my weight loss for 2 weeks now. The doctor's scale weighed me only 1/4 pound higher than i was 2 weeks ago, so i'm content with that.
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Well, this is month 7 of my 12 days/12 months of Christmas project. I wish i could say i'm caught up. I was ahead of the game for a while, but now many of my projects are time-intensive. Now that i have the snowflakes completed, i am caught up to the end of May. June projects are tote bags, and i've only a couple of those done. (But they are cute!)
I looked again at my schedule, and i am more caught up than i thought. Just the July stuff to do, and i have a few of the things done into August, so it is not as bad as i had thought, originally!
I also did a little knitted purse for my niece's daughter. It turned out well.
Part of the problem is that i am now on to the sewing projects, and i just don't enjoy those the way i do the knitting. The sewing is not as portable (up and down the hill) either.
Oh, can you tell that i'm rather proud of my crocheted snowflakes, too?
I had fun with them. I didn't follow a pattern (i'm horrible at following patterns). I did look at the pics of some other snowflakes, but then made it up as i went along.
So, is Christmas on your radar yet, or is it something that will be happening later (around Thanksgiving ?) for you?
Today is my dear sister Elsa's birthday. Happy birthday, little sister. I love you!
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Duane and i completed 24 days of hCG and each lost about 15 pounds. We are more than a week into the 3 week "maintenance" part of this diet. Duane is greatly looking forward to eating chips and pizza and bread again. Since he loses so easily, i've encouraged him to eat now, if he wants. But he is stubborn and when he sets his mind to something, he sticks to it.
We both have maintained our loss so far. I do see the scale vary a couple of pounds, and i think my most common weight now is about half a pound higher than my lowest weight. But i'm quite happy. I could start another round the very end of July, and part of me wants to. BUT this is summer with lots of good things available (peaches and raspberries!) and so i think i'll wait until mid-August before beginning again.
I don't think i'll do more than 21 days on the hCG drops, unless this next cycle is different than this one. I did find myself hungry most of the time. I think it is because i eat mostly vegetarian. On the days i had fish i think i was a bit less hungry. When we reached day 21, i honestly could not imagine going another 19 days. (The longest recommended is 40 days, and then you skip the drops every 7th day so your body doesn't become immune to the hCG.) But if i find that i'm not hungry next cycle, maybe i will go longer.
I STILL am having sugar cravings. I don't give into them and eat what i am not suppose to (like a candy bar), but i still am craving apple pie, and cherry pie, and brownies, and Almond Joy, and the list goes on and on. I can't help but wonder if i would lose that craving if i allowed myself no sweetener at all. I've been using stevia in my tea and making lemonade with it, and using it in yogurt and other things. Stevia is a natural, no-calorie sweetener. I don't have issues with it the way i do with Splenda or aspartame. It is very sweet, and i wonder if just the taste of it is enough to kick in my cravings. I hate the thought of giving up everything that is sweet! I did try making a homemade ice cream sweetened with stevia and xylitol. I was disappointed in the results.
However, all that said, i am doing well. We have not eaten out at all since we began this 4+ weeks ago. This from people who were eating out at least 3 times a week. I do have a kind of meal plan down better than i did before, but a very simple one that fits us. In that respect, i've not really missed the "before" meals, which kind of surprises me. Also, i noticed today that i can't remember when i last had a headache. I think i was getting minor levels of poisoning when we were eating out. I had been getting a number of small migraines. I was in some pain the first week or so on the diet - and missing my cherry juice. Tart cherries have been shown to be as effective as ibuprofen for inflammation and pain. I tend to drink about 8 oz of tart cherry juice a day to deal with chronic pain. But this is a no sugar diet for its entirety (even during maintenance) and so i've not had any fruit drink.
I'm very pleased with the results. I'm anxious to begin again, but as i said, probably not until the middle of August. If i do 2 more cycles and i continue to lose at the rate i did this time, i should reach my goal and be thru with the 3 week "maintenance" a week or so after Halloween. In time for Thanksgiving! :) Not that that matters much. I don't usually eat much at Thanksgiving and i don't over-indulge.
Now, passing up candy at Christmas - that will be another matter! :)
So, what is your downfall? Mine is sugar/chocolate/sweets, but i know lots of folks who like chips or soda or whatever. What do you have trouble letting go of?
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I've had so many blog posts in my mind . . . and that is just where they stay. I've been very undisciplined about writing (and many other things, too).
Part of my problem with being undisciplined in general (not about writing) is that it is hard for me to know what my boundaries (with energy) are. Many times i don't know that until i've breached them, and then it is too late.
Not long ago i had a busy morning, and then sat on the couch, watching TV and knitting, but looking out the front door (which is an enormous sliding glass door) at all the things that needed to be done in my garden, but knowing i didn't have the energy to do them. Sigh.
I'm reading how folks are harvesting produce now. One blog said she is "at the end" of her peas. Wow. I've some cherry tomatoes that might be ready to pick in a week or two and the onions seem to be growing well, but other than that, i don't know that i'll have much of anything. Well, the mint is growing well, too, but that doesn't take much. I've not found a single apple on our tree that survived. Early on it looked like a few were growing, but i guess they didn't make it.
These pics are reposts from a couple of years ago. We didn't take any this year. But the light show was absolutely amazing. The best i remember seeing.
So, that's us. How are you?
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Do you ever follow blogs that then just disappear or the person stops posting? I've had that happen a couple of times and can't help but wonder what happened to them.
I couldn't say why i've not been posting. I guess my mind has been on other things and i've been trying to prioritize how i use my energy. Not that blog writing takes a lot of energy.
I have been on the hCG diet for 12 days now, and have been blogging my progress at Hawkes' Health: Katee and hCG and weight loss. I think there are a couple of pages there before i actually begin the diet. Three others at that site are doing this diet, too. Islander, Reesacat, and Mellowsong are all doing it (Islander is finished her first cycle with a 24 pound weight loss). Their experiences are listed in the blog spot at the bottom of the Hawkes' Health page.
The hCG product i purchased is here: 1234 hCG. Duane is doing this with me tho he is not overweight. He had gotten some abdominal fat, however, which is related to a host of chronic diseases, and he is doing it mostly to support me. I discovered he has never in his life been on a diet before. That blows my mind! Forty-three years of never having to once restrain yourself or use will power over eating. He asked me about my "first diet" and it was honestly so long ago (i was probably 15, and did not need to diet) that i don't really remember. But in those days i think it was about feeling i had something under my control in my life. Entirely different point of view.
We have not found it to be the "no hunger" thing that is highly touted. However, we only had one day that was really difficult; it got easier after that. And, in 12 days (10 on the low calorie diet) i have lost 10 pounds. I am happy, tho to be honest i'm not really seeing it yet. But then, i have a minimum of 30 to lose, and would like to lose 45-50 total. (It won't all be done this cycle. I'll probably end up doing 2 cycles to lose, maybe 3.)
One thing this diet is suppose to do is to re-set your metabolism, endocrine hormones, and the like. I'm still having some sugar cravings, and some days are harder than others. Also, i think part of the reason Duane and i were having some hunger issues (as opposed to other friends who have done this and began from a really good food place) is we probably were "detoxing" the chemicals from ordinary diet. I like to think i was eating better than most Americans, but i had been eating things i definitely know i should not have been.
I don't know that i feel i have much more energy, but i think i am better. I don't know if this is re-setting all the things i mentioned above, but i am sleeping better and feeling more rested than i have in years. :)
"Our kids" are out of school for 6 weeks (they do "year round" school here). We are planning to take Sierra down the hill with us this week. I'll take some hours off work and do some things with her. My ILs have a pool for her to enjoy, too. We plan to take each of the boys in turn, too.
The squirrels seem to have died off. That won't bother some folks up here who hate squirrels (they can do a lot of damage).
We heard last year that west of here, in Crestline and Arrowhead, the squirrels were dying. I guess whatever the disease is, it made its way here. We still had some in the spring, but it has been several weeks since i've seen a squirrel around here. I miss them.
I've been doing a little gardening. Of what i have, the onions seem to be doing the best. But i'm having little triumphs here and there.
So, that is a brief view of what has been going on here. How are things in your neck of the woods?
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