The weekend

The visit with my ILs was fine, tho i was exhausted when they left.  We went in separate cars to church (i'll post about church at the other blog) and then breakfast.  They left for home directly after breakfast because of another obligation they had.  


I spent the rest of the day resting.


They arrived before 1 on Friday and N was still there.  The house was cleaned and the meals planned.  Duane and Tom, his step-dad, left to go golfing.  Jeanet, his mom, chatted with us in the kitchen while we finished cookies and made apple crisp.  When N left, Jeanet said, "So she comes over here and hangs out on her day off?"  I simply said, not knowing what else to say, "Well, i pay her some."  Hours later i realized i could have just said, "Well, it works that we help each other out."  Thinking on my feet is not a strength of mine.  


That day had its ups and downs.  I realized that i didn't really know what to do with Jeanet while the guys were off golfing.  She doesn't knit or quilt, or do any other crafts as far as i know, so going to one of those stores was out.  When we are at her house, she will be on the computer playing card games, or reading the paper, or watching TV.  She also is quite active in her yard and some with gardening.  With her family she will play card games when they come.  But none of those things translate well for just the two of us together. 

We ran into town to get a couple of items i needed from the grocery, but when i asked if she'd like to stop somewhere her response was, "No, i don't like to shop."  So we just sat and chatted for the afternoon.  

I did make one huge mistake that afternoon.  My front door (sliding glass window) is dirty.  I notice it sometimes, and have meant to have N clean it.  Jeanet noticed and then i simply couldn't sit still once i was very aware of it.  But cleaning that door was not a good choice.  It is much too much work for me to manage.  I kept saying to myself as i did it and Jeanet watched, "Why am i doing this?  I should not be doing this!  I don't have the energy for this."  But i couldn't stop with it half done.  Well i did.  I only did the sliding part of the door, not the immobile part, but even that was far too much.


I made 3 meals while they were there.  Duane helped me Friday night with blackened chicken breasts, pasta, Alfredo, broccoli (mostly for me), bread, and apple crisp with ice cream.  Saturday AM i just cooked some oatmeal that i'd soaked from the night before.  Saturday evening we had chicken breast sandwiches with green beans and some potatoes i'd cut in wedges and put olive oil and (homemade) seasoning salt on them.  I had salad.  


Saturday we went to the car show.  This was the hairy one for me, because i knew that going really was not a good idea, but there was no half-choice i could make.  I couldn't let them go ahead and meet them later because of parking issues.  I didn't want to stay home the whole day.  

We took backstreets the whole way there and missed most of the awful traffic.  We also came at the area from behind and found parking really close.  The whole Village was blocked off with the show cars lining the blocked off streets and the public parking lot.  On our way home we drove around the lake rather than fight the traffic going the way we wanted to go. 


We didn't walk much of the car show, probably only half-mile all total.  I took the option of sitting where i could and waited while they walked it.  It had occurred to me to wonder if we could get a wheel chair for while we were there, but that would certainly raise a lot of questions.  We were there from about 10-2, and stopped for lunch at 12.  I wanted to do this, i like to be out, and we saw some people we don't see often anymore.  I enjoy being out, i do, but by the time we left i was exhausted almost to the point of tears. 

When we came back, i simply went and laid down and rested for most of the rest of that afternoon.  They were watching golf on TV (which i personally think is one of the most boring things in the world) and i think they fell asleep in front of the TV.


At the car show we did go into a couple of the Village shops.  "Shopping" with Tom is an experience.  He doesn't get the idea of "simple life" whatsoever, and if we tried to explain it he wouldn't begin to comprehend it.  His idea of living is to spend the most money you can on items and show them off to whoever comes to see you.  (Often mentioning the price of the item, too.)  He made lots of "suggestions" for improving our house.  He does this somewhat facetiously, knowing that we can't afford to spend money that way and probably wouldn't anyway.  The couches he suggested were thousands of dollars.  I took one look and said, "If i had them money for them, i'd put that money into remodeling our kitchen and bath."  


I don't think he was running us down by doing this, and i don't think he was seriously suggesting that we should buy them.  It is just his way of a diversion i think.  But seeing the things he admires and the prices of what he admires is interesting.  Our values are so very, very different from his.  


When Jeanet and i went to the grocery on Friday, i asked Jeanet what kind of bread they like.  I needed to get buns for the chicken sandwiches.  Her response was, "The cheapest."  I think she was a bit put out with me that i didn't buy the cheapest bread on the shelf.  I chose a whole grain instead.  I did not read the labels on any of them, because frankly i know that any commercially made bread (whole grain or not) is going to be filled with all kinds of things i think are horrible.  I do not believe that "whole grain" makes it healthy.  I believe the whole grain is maybe .02% better than the other stuff.  But Duane prefers it.  I also balk at my MIL's view on "cheap" food.  


They don't need to buy cheap food.  I don't believe my FIL's ostentatious way of living is simply off credit cards.  They have money.  Sometimes i think Jeanet goes for the cheap food as an off-set to Tom's over-the-top way of doing things.  Or it is habit from when she didn't have money.  Or it is the only way she feels like she's much control in their relationship.  Or a combination of all of those things.  I do feel she is short-changing herself.  Buying the cheapest chicken or beef on the market is buying animal flesh that is the result of factory farming and the poorest, sickest animals available.  They are loaded with antibiotics, hormones, and toxins and are not good for anyone in the long term.  


That is the problem, however, with our food system.  Long term.  Most people only look at short term and if it doesn't make you sick or kill you quickly then it is okay.  The fact that the "food" is loaded with carcinogens and other things that will create a problem in 5, 10, 20 or more years isn't given consideration. 


We bought the movie Food, Inc. not long ago and my ILs watched it.  But it isn't going to make a difference to the choices they make.  


My MIL kept trying to give me chicken over the weekend.  I kept saying "I don't eat chicken."  (The stuff i bought was good quality, organic chicken.  I try to buy the best to feed to Duane.)  


Jeanet said, "But when you were first married you used to eat chicken.  Why don't you eat it now?"  


I responded, "Did you see the way those animals are raised? (In Food, Inc.)  I'm not going to consume that.  It isn't healthy."  (I did not go into the issues of organic vs. commercially raised.  What i provided here is healthy, but what she serves is not.  If i ate the healthy stuff here at home she wouldn't understand why i won't eat the stuff she serves at her house.)


She said, "But that movie wasn't out when you quit eating meat."


"No, but i already knew most of that information before the movie came out.  There was very little in that movie i didn't already know."  


I'm not sure that she understands that the factory farming has been going on for years and years.  She talked as if it just started when the movie came out.  Part of the problem, too, is that she was raised on a farm in Wisconsin, in the 40s and 50s.  I don't think that she realizes how much production has changed.  She doesn't see it when she goes back for a visit.  I think she believes that most of the farms are like where she grew up and that the factory farming is just a small part of the production.  I doubt she believed much of that movie.


I'm not going to change her mind.  I'm not going to try, except on the rare occasion where the opportunity comes up.  There is no use in beating someone up with concepts if they are not open to hearing/changing.  But i really wish she wouldn't work at trying to change me, either.  


It wasn't a bad weekend.  But it wasn't a comfortable weekend, either.  It wasn't a bad weekend, but it just wasn't very comfortable.  If they come for a visit like this again, we are going to have to tell them about my limitations because i can't do another one like this.  I have tried to be someone that i'm not in their presence & this can't continue.


We got lots of good pics from the car show.  I don't have them loaded in my computer yet, tho.  I took a lot at first, and then when i stopped looking at them and was resting, Duane took a lot.  


Anyway, that was the weekend.  I am going to the knitting group this week (i missed last week with a migraine) and so i need to leave.  I'll spend most of today resting, too, so that we can go to OC tomorrow.



368

Quick Note

This has been a very hard week.  I never really recovered from the weekend & then we went down the hill.  My schedule this week never allowed any real "down time" & so i'm pretty well spent.  Migraine & exhaustion have ruled the week, but i've still had to be up & functioning.

My ILs are due to arrive in the next hour.  Nina is here helping me.  I've spent the AM resting while she cleans.  I will HAVE to limit what i do this week or i will have to cancel going down the hill next week.  I'm rather anxious about this weekend, for i know i've not much more to give.  My ILs have never seen how i struggle with disability & i've worked hard at that because i don't think they will understand.  This weekend may change their view of me.  


I never responded to comments in the last post.  Please know that i read them & appreciated them, but i've just not had any extra this week to give.  I so appreciate when you take the time to let me know you were here.  :)


Hope y'all have a great weekend.  If you are praying people, you can keep me in your prayers.  I'm hoping we can still have some fun!  I'm only planning on making 2 meals.  The rest we will eat out.

367

Grrr . . . arrr . . . wha?

(Only because my head is weird.)

Duane is off the mountain today with a SAR in Needles.  I'm concerned, of course, because it is the desert and hot and all those things.  He was excited to be able to go, however.  It is an ATV search and he just completed that training.  Technically he isn't free to go because he is suppose to do more hours with an instructor, but they cleared him to do it because the folks he is going with have so many hours themselves.  


But this meant that he had to get up at 2.30 this morning, guess who wakes him?  Yup.  Tho even if i didn't, his leaving (unless he slept on the couch) would have woken me.  I did get back to sleep about 4.30, but i've a headache because of this sleep disturbance, so i've not done much of anything today.  Mac is beside me purring like mad.  


We had N and her family to dinner last night.  Of course, she ended up doing a lot of the cooking and clean up, but we provided the food and worked along side her.  We enjoyed it very much and especially enjoyed visiting some with the kids.  Her two older children are delightful.  Her 3 year old is a handful.  But he didn't bother me and he wasn't destructive (we do have a few things on shelves that an out-of-control kid could make a mess of).  Duane made blackened salmon (fish that desperately needed to be cooked) and even tho we didn't have huge portions, i'd bought enough that we all got some.  She and i made the GF pasta (this is the best ! made by Andean) and Alfredo sauce.  She really liked the Alfredo (i do use more cheese than the recipe calls for) and i sent the left over home with her.  We also had salad and some biscuits (not GF).   

We will probably plan to do this together once or twice a month.  I enjoyed it alot, tho i was absolutely exhausted at the end of the day.  When i asked Duane he enjoyed it too.


Duane's parents are planning to come up this weekend.  I'm a bit stressed over that.  Mostly that i won't be able to keep up physically.  Also we don't really know when they will arrive.  It wouldn't be out of character for his dad to wake up at 6.30 and decide to leave then (which means they'd be at our house about 8.30).  They actually called last Friday and wanted to come up then, but we had company and Duane had weekend plans and he tried to (nicely) suggest that the planned weekend would work better for us.  I'm planning to have N come on Friday, but she may not be able to come as early as she normally does, so that could get dicey. 

It is interesting that they are doing more research with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (also called Chronic Fatigue and Immune Deficiency Syndrome & also possibly related to Myalgic Encephalomyelitis).  One of the things that is becoming clear is that CFS has physical differences that can be differentiated from "normal" or "depressed" populations.  (Because many of us who have had this for many years have been told by medical authorities that it is "all in your head" or "you're just depressed.")  Blood flow is one of the issues, tho it apparently is hard to diagnose in a PWC (person with Chronic Fatigue), because it is not the normal restriction of blood flow most commonly seen.  Also a big part of CFS is "Post-Exertional Malaise" (PEM) which is the utter exhaustion (including some cognitive problems) that comes after any sort of physical activity, and in some cases also mental activity or stress.  In the first of these two reports, they found physical differences in the muscles of folks with CFS.  Also, i just want to mention, one of the differences between CFS and depression is that folks with CFS want to do things, they just can't.  Anyway, i simply mention it here because i want to have a place where i've got these reports.  You're welcome to check it out, however.  If you know anyone with CFS, it might help you understand it better. 


Post-Exertional Malaise: Perception and Reality
Post-Exertional Malaise: Cause and Effect

I know i've mentioned before that in August i can always feel "fall in the air."  This is our 4th August living here, tho we had come up to visit other years.  The past 4 days the low at night has been below 40F.  Last night the low was 30.  We won't have plants living too much longer.  And we won't be able to sleep with the doors open much longer.  I think i've said before, we don't have many windows.  We have 4 sliding glass doors and 2 windows (one in a bathroom, one in the guest room) that open.  Then we have 3 windows that are like skylights in the living-room which were added when the roof was replaced. Strange to have a house with almost no windows!  I hate having to close the doors at night. 


Yesterday we found a nice eiderdown duvet at a garage sale.  It had a lot of pillow shams and 2 covers with it.  One is flannel, and Duane will be very happy for a month or so this winter when we use it.  I got all of that for $25, the duvet alone would cost upward of $250 new.  We had been using a duvet from Ikea, but they size their duvets based on European sizing which is more square and not as wide as we like.  I had one duvet already the size we like, but it is very lightweight.  So i went ahead and put both (new and old) in the duvet cover and we are now at winter weight.  Duane is happy with that; it is a bit too much for me, but i hope it means we can sleep with the door open for another few weeks.  The Ikea duvet i will save for company.  Since it is king-size (but smaller than the one we just got) it will be perfect for our double/queen guest bed.  


I finished one of the baby blankets i'm working on.  I need to get pics.  The other is a very lacy, lightweight blanket & it may be a long time before i have that finished.   

I've been needing to get the CA license for massage done and have been planning on it for a while.  I meant to do it early July, but got distracted.  Just looked it up and it could take up to 90 days plus whatever time it takes to do the testing.  Arrg!  I'm going to be stressed because i don't have that much time.  I need to get on it so i can get it ASAP.


Jazz has joined Mac on the bed and they are now snuggled down into the softness of the double duvet!  




366

High Desert

 (Image by Crazy-Frankenstein.com - requires credit given!)


In the previous post Lisa commented about how dry it looks at our house.  That is true.  We are technically "high desert" & it is quite dry.  When i was a kid, i assumed that "desert" was mostly like this image:  largely flat, sand, dry.  In college ecology, i learned that designations of different regions are based on annual rainfall.  


We get quite a lot of snow, but we rarely if ever have significant rain in the summer, which makes it very dry.  Also, humidity is quite low.  On occasion the humidity will reach in 50-60% but that is uncommon.  Usually our humidity is 10-15%.  This makes us high desert. 


Where i grew up in Montana was not quite the same.  They get much more rainfall during the summers, but it also has the possibility of being very dry if it is a dry summer.  Humidity there is similar to Big Bear.  I'm coming to think that the greenness that is so common on the East Coast of this country is directly  a result of the humidity which is responsible for all the green deciduous trees that populate that green land.  On much of the West Coast, pine trees are the norm.  Any deciduous trees we have are either scrub, or have adapted (aspen & cottonwood) or are ones that are watered by people.  Much of the Western part of the country needs individual watering to keep it green.  


Yes, it is dry where we live.  But right now Sugarbear is looking quite green!  We will never have grass/a lawn, however.


I can tell August has arrived.  The lows at night, which never were over 52F for July, are back to the low to mid 40s again.  The days are still warm - usually mid-70s, but it won't be long before it is cool.  Summer is on its way out.  We kept the duvet on the bed all summer, a light one.  I usually didn't need it, but Duane likes to sleep very warm.  I change the duvet covers for the season, think i have about 6 of them.  It is time to change from the yellow-flowered summer one to a one that is rather more like fall.  (Duane will be happy to see the flowers go.  He's not fond of flowered stuff.)  He will probably soon be asking for winter sheets again, too!


We still have about 6 weeks before the trees start to turn, too. 

365

I had so much in my head this morning . . .

. . . i'm sure i had a lot to say, but now it is all gone.  I miss my brain!  I wonder if it will ever come back?

So, a few pics from around Sugarbear.  :)

 

This is our wood pile now that it's all stacked.  Only a small part of this is the right size for us to burn.  The rest will have to be cut.  It doesn't look as large in this pic as it looks to me when i peer out our window.

This is our new peach tree that we've just planted.  So far it seems to be fine.

This is the rose bush that i cleaned out around the base on Saturday.  I paid for that gardening the rest of the weekend, but i'm looking forward to having the place look a little neater.  As you can see in this pic in the foreground, there is still a lot of grass needing to be pulled.

This is the rosebush i've not done anything with as of yet.  Much cleaning to be done.  This is a darker color than my other roses & is beautiful, but it gets its leaves & blooms much later than the others.

This is the non-fruit plum that neither Duane nor i like.  I've considered cutting it down & letting the suckers (which come up green) create a bush instead of this tree.  Even tho these are used a lot as ornamental, neither of us like it.  Duane, being color-blind, tends to see it as black.

 

This is the same fruit tree, but with the sun showing thru the branches.  It isn't black, of course, but somehow i still don't care for the color, although in the pics it can look stunning.

This is our apple tree.  It looks healthy, doesn't it?  It is, except the late freeze killed all the blossoms.  

This is the only apple we have found on the tree. ONE.  The tree did blossom out more after the freeze, but i don't think any of the honeybees came back & pollinated the blossoms.  Maybe next year.

This is one view of Sugarbear.  Everything is so green right now.  That pine is in our back yard & is enormous!

This is another view of Sugarbear, with the mountains (Sugarloaf) in the background.

 

These are views of a type of blogger comment form.  If you have these on your computer, i cannot comment.  I've tried a few times.  Even the ones that allow Anonymous or "Name/URL" 95% of the time will send my comments into the ether.  I've given up.  I don't know if anyone that visits me here has this type of "Post a Comment," but if you do, i'm not commenting there.  I don't know that anyone cares, just letting you know, i've been to your blog, i've tried to comment.  It doesn't like me!

Duane & i are a lot alike in many ways.  That is very good for our marriage in most areas.  In other ways it has its challenges.  Neither of us care about food that much.  Duane, when i asked him said he cares about 1. taste 2. not being hungry & 3. that it is somewhat healthy.  (I think 3 would be 10 if there were more things on the list.)  I guess i care more about healthy than does he, because at least some of my problems are related to a horrible diet (fast food, largely) for so long.  Also, i find it really challenging that many of the things i like & could eat over & over he won't touch (& vice versa).  Also, i am really fighting the feeling of resentment that if we are going to eat a home cooked meal, i have to do it.  Since neither of us like to cook or care that much about food, default has fallen to me & i'm having a hard time not being angry about that.  And i'm struggling with the fact that there are more & more things i can't eat.  Being that limited is frustrating, especially when trying to create something for us both.

We talked about it today & came up with a compromise.  We are, for the next 8 weeks, going to commit to making one meal together every week.  What (he) we would like to eat & would like to cook.  After 8 weeks we will re-assess the situation & make adjustments based upon the results.  (I'm hoping that we will do more than one meal a week, but we will see.)  Also we discussed stuff that can be cooked (by him, or by me, or by Nina) that can then be frozen & he can eat that will be simple but he can do it himself.  We did not discuss, but we should, of setting a time to eat a first meal, probably 11.30.  We both have the tendency to wait until 2 or 3 to eat at all, & by then we are starving & not choosing good, healthy, or otherwise, only quick.

I know to anyone who is used to a schedule & eats regularly this would seem very strange & a no-brainer, but, well, that is not us.  Duane ate either frozen, microwaved stuff, or his mother cooked.  That she expects me to cook ("Kathryn, Duane's home, make him a sandwich") is starting to really bug me.  I could say lots about this, but it simply comes down to this:  Something has to change.  

Whether that change becomes not caring about the health of the food & simply eating convenience, microwave stuff (not likely to happen) or we begin to eat 90% of our meals out (also probably not likely), something has got to give.  Hopefully our experiment will work.

Sunday night i made the pasta/broccoli/Alfredo sauce again.  But i tried a new recipe.  It was made with cream cheese & it was much easier, but it didn't have the flavor the first one (over which i was so frustrated & nearly threw the pot across the room).  If i had made the easy one first, i would have said, "This doesn't taste like much, i might as well buy it pre-made (organic) from the store."  But the first one was so good, i think we are likely to try it again - BUT with cooperation in taking turns stirring it because it takes a long time. 

It's been a long day.  I still have the migraine that started Sunday.  The doc i work with adjusted me today, but it hasn't helped much.  I used to do Pepsi for a migraine, but i've stopped doing conventional soda 100%.  Then i tried Starbucks Vanilla Frappuccino, (Starbucks in cans has horrible, awful stuff in it but the one in the glass jar surprisingly has pretty good stuff - i.e. sugar instead of HFCS & actual milk but minimal chemicals) but i decided that was not a good choice either.  So i've been trying to "tough it out" but it isn't helping much.  I may break down & get the Starbucks tonight.  

I'm ready for the day to end!

364

Random bits

I've a new game to which i'm addicted.  Virtual Pilot.  I think i'm learning where some of the cities in Europe happen to be.  Some i miss consistently.  I'd do much better if my memory was better, i can forget things 2 minutes apart.  

I'm old enough that i learned in school some of these cities as belonging to countries that no longer exist, such as Belgrade, Yugoslavia (it is Serbia now).  My highest score has been 28,887 out of a possible 30,000.  However, even when i'm spot-on, it usually shows i'm off by 4-8 miles (and usually more like 12), so i'm landing on some poor farmer's fields or on an autobahn or something. 


I'm walking up the stairs more slowly these days.  No, not due to illness.  Jazz.


When Jazz first joined our family, he mostly wanted to spend time with Mac.  He knew people were good for only 2 things:  Feeding, and playing.  He likes us to play with him almost constantly.  Over time he has discovered that being petted is a good thing too, but he only wants to be petted on his terms, at his time.  He'd prefer me to follow him around the house, bent over, petting him as he walks where he wants to go.  That doesn't happen much!  But he has discovered that walking ahead of me on the stairs works too.  So i've slowed my pace going up the stairs so that he gets a thorough petting before we reach the top.  It is probably good for us both.


I've decided i need to work harder at the gardening.  I was out today and  cut all the suckers around the peach, apple, and (non-fruit) plum trees.  I started to clean out the roses, but got fatigued and came in.  We planted the dwarf tree we got last weekend yesterday, and we planted the one grape (i bought 3) that actually leafed out.  I also planted some mint around the base of the plum tree.  After all the roses are cleaned i need to do the lilacs.  And then i need to clean out all the grass that has come up in our rock border.  Oh, and pick up sticks and twigs for fire starter, too.  Also, a few of the trees have dead branches that need to come off.  We need to start some sort of compost bin, too.


N is the woman who has been coming since R moved.  I've only been having her come twice a month.  We are kind of figuring things out between us.  I'm rather discouraged about food in general right now, so we've not been doing that too much.  But she is a wonderful worker and very efficient with housecleaning.  Over all it is working pretty well.  It would be hard for anyone to follow R for we just "fit together" so well.

She is a worker!  Our back deck looks better than it has since we moved in.  She does a wonderful job not only cleaning the house, but helping me with clutter too, which often overwhelms me.  


We hired N's son to come do some clean up in our yard for us, although i think their whole family worked at it.  Weed abatement is very strict and no weeds are allowed to be bigger than 4 inches high.  I told her getting the weeds cut was my big priority, but that raking would be good, but only if they had time.  Over all it looks pretty good (they came Tuesday when we were away).  

But weed abatement was after us too because we'd never stacked most of that huge pile of wood from last fall.  So we asked if they could come help us with that as well.  We had to separate the wood into what will fit into our woodstove as it is, and what is going to have to be cut.  They came yesterday AM and helped us with that.  It looks good all stacked up, and we have a lot!  I'll have to take some pics soon.


They have 3 kids (and J has a son that is with them some too).  So yesterday N and her husband J with their three kids all came.  After we finished the work, which didn't take too long, we played some.  Duane pulled out a parachute he'd gotten for a good price at a yard sale.  We drifted it up and the kids ran under and out again.  And then we bounced a ball on it, trying to keep it inside.  A beach ball would be best, but we don't have one, so a tennis ball had to do.  We had a lot of fun with it and hope they come back again, not just to work!


I got another one of those ugly president-bashing email, again from the same person.  One of the sentences from this email:  "Our dictator jerk off just keeps on walking all over everyone."  This one is claiming that Mr. Obama is refusing to sign the certificates for the Eagle Scouts.  In about two minutes i found the report on this from Snopes.  It is not true. 


I love the person who is sending me these things very much.  I think, however, i'm ready to send a letter/email to her asking her to take me off of her list to send political things out.  She did learn to send her things out blind cc and also to remove all the names from previous recipients.  (It used to drive me nuts to see 50 or 100 names from many, many previous forwards.)  After one particularly virulent email last summer, i got frustrated and hit "reply all" with the Snopes info showing that it was not true.  I didn't get much static for that (tho i think the person sending it to me did), but a couple of ladies wrote and ripped me up over that.  One asked me "how did you intercept private mail between friends?"  ! ! !  I had to write and explain what sending an email without removing names and without using bcc actually does.  So the person i love learned not to send these things this way.  


I think i'll say that i've not written her about this because i was afraid of offending her, but that i'm being offended at receiving these email which are libelous.  (I always have to look these up.  Slander is spoken, libel is written.)  I'm particularly offended because these things most often are LIES and the person doesn't even bother to check it out before hitting the "forward" button.  

What is happening to Christian charity?  What happened to "Love your enemy and  pray for those who hurt you"?  I'm not saying that we have to stand by all that our gov't is doing.  Not at all.  I'm very unhappy with much that our gov't and elected leaders are doing.  In the coming election i plan to vote based on what our leaders have done, in order to try to change what i don't like.  I'd like to do (what little) i can to bring about change. 

But disagreeing with our president does not justify passing on such hate.  Particularly when it is libel.  Especially when it is a lie.

Now, i appreciate the email i get which informs me that our leaders are getting ready to vote on ______ bill and this is what the bill says and this is how that bill might be interpreted and that it would be a good idea to notify my elected leader of my feelings about such a bill.  That is fact.  That is useful info.  It is something i can act upon.  The email i'm complaining of is nothing but rumor, gossip, and lie.   I don't believe that lying, passing on such a lie, or the hate behind the lie has any place in the life of a person truly seeking to honor God and live in the example of Jesus.  


Sorry.  I'm just getting too much hate email.





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Some pics, some thoughts

I went on a picture hunt - looking for some i've not posted before.  I got overwhelmed.  Having over 10,000 pics on my computer makes the "overwhelmed" easy.  But i've found some.  I'm not sure if i've shared them before.  I think Duane took all of these (which i've now decided to post at the end of this), but i'm not sure.  

I also went house hunting today.  No, we are not looking to replace Sugarbear.  The very thought of it makes me sad.  This was a different kind of hunting.


I first visited Big Bear many years ago.  I started college the fall of 1989, & this would have been a couple of years before that.

We came up to Big Bear in October.  Rented a small house for the weekend.  It was an older house, i would guess it was built in the 20s.  I wasn't prepared for it to be so cold!  The days were beautiful,crisp, with deep blue skies, the trees turning yellow & red.  But the nights were downright cold & the house was not well-insulated.  Getting up in the morning was like getting up in an ice box!

Anyway, i've long wondered just where exactly that house is at.  I've an idea in my head & certain memories, but memories can be faulty.  I've looked for that house off & on before, & today i spent some time looking again.

What i remember is that it was on a street that runs north/south, north of Big Bear Blvd.  It faced east & was on the southwest corner where another street crossed.  It had 2 dormer windows upstairs & 2 bedrooms upstairs tho we didn't use them.  We stayed in the downstairs bedroom.  I think it was painted a light green.  I keep being sure that i just know where that house is, & yet i keep not finding it.  It is almost as if a wicked witch removed it from the scene. 


It wasn't far from a meadow.  I watched the yellow school bus drop the kids off the first afternoon we were there & the memory is poignant.  I'm not sure why the beauty of that scene & the memory of it are so bittersweet & almost painful.  That is probably why it is seared in my memory.  I think that it was just a piece, a window, of peacefulness that was not part of my daily life.  Everyday life was in fact almost unbearable.  That weekend was a jewel in my memories.  

Memories such as they are, however, tend to be fickle.  I could be looking 5 miles from where the house actually happens to be.  I'm not sure why it seems so important to me to find it.  I'm not going to live there, nor stay there.  Maybe it is just the idea of gazing on a scene from a time when i was still quite young, things weren't happy but the world held so many possibilities, a few days of peace.  


I'm not saying my life doesn't have peace now.  It does.  But it has so many fewer possibilities than it did more than 20 years ago.  Many things are set & cannot now be changed.  In looking for the above pics, i looked at a lot of different houses for sale.  Some have a number of things we might like in a house, more room, less money, but the thought of leaving Sugarbear is unbearable.  If we left i think i would look back to our time at Sugarbear with the same sharp memories of the peace we have here.  Humans tend to want something else, not recognizing the treasure they currently have.  I don't want to be caught in that trap, but for some reason the memory of my first visit to Big Bear is very vivid right now.  


The first pic is very much like the house, in color & style but not exact.  The second pic is of the style of house - the dormers & all, but definitely not the house.  The third pic, that of the kitchen, could be an exact replica, except in my memory the checks were blue not red.  That could be the house, except i don't think it has an upstairs & the house of which i'm speaking definitely did.  I'm probably better off not finding it, but i imagine i'll keep on looking. 


We bought some plants that were on sale at the nursery over the weekend.  Mostly herbs.  But we also got a dwarf peach to replace the one that died.  I need to go out & plant some things.

I saw G (pastor) & his family while i was at breakfast this AM.  He said hi, as did i, & i wished them a good day on my way out.  I think it strange that in 3-1/2 years here i never ran into him elsewhere before, but now that we've cut ties i seem to do so frequently.  This is the 3rd time in the last month.  No, i don't think it anything sinister.  Just one of those weird coincidences.  Life is odd.  


I've been tremendously emotional over the weekend.  I cry at the least little thing, from the finishing of a baby blanket for someone (& i hate that blanket - nothing seems to please me these days) i know to the Alfredo sauce that wouldn't thicken.  I don't know what is wrong with me.  Probably a combination of hormones gone whacky & being in pain for several days now.  I'm not normally a tearful person, so i really hate feeling this way.  

Just various pics from around Big Bear, especially the lake, the first year we lived here.  



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I AM SICK OF IT !

Inflammatory email.  Please remove me from your list!

This week i received an email entitled What is missing at Obama's press Conference?


(The link will take you to snopes where they give the email in full & then the reality behind it.) 

I went to Google images & looked at "Obama Press Conference" & of the first 10 images that appeared, the American flag was in 6 of them.  Did the same for "Reagan Press Conference" & of the first 10 images that appeared, the American flag was in 3.  Same number for Bill Clinton.  Four for GW Bush.  I only found a couple for GHW, & they usually did not include the flag.  ???

Apples & oranges.  Different conferences have different backdrops for different presidents at different times.  I found a dozen of Mr. Obama with American flags.  I found a dozen of Mr. Bush without.  One such picture means nothing.


I'm getting very impatient with folks who use fear-mongering to try & up the anxiety level of folks about what is going on in our nation.


I was NOT a supporter of Mr. Bush & said at the time things that made this clear.  When i made such statements, i would at times be admonished by Christians who said "it is our God-given duty to support our President, who was elected by the will of God."


I am NOT a supporter of Mr. Obama.  I'm not very thrilled with some of what he has done thus far, but in my eyes he really has not done any worse than did Mr. Bush.  In fact, by this time in office, Mr. Bush had us embroiled in the Iraq war, which i never supported & never will.  The Patriot Act was also passed which did more to restrict our freedoms than any president previously since Abraham Lincoln.  


What i want to know is, where are the Christians who will say, "it is our God-given duty to support our President, who was elected by the will of God," when the president is Mr. Obama instead of Mr. Bush?  Did God abandon us when Mr. Obama was elected?  


Now, frankly, i'm very unhappy with the things going on in this country.  I don't appreciate the idea that "we get the leaders we deserve because we elect them."  First off, i have only ONE vote.  Second, the people do NOT elect their president.  Go look it up.  We have an electoral college who does the voting for us.  Supposedly they go by the will of the people, but that means that if 51% of the vote for an entire state goes to one candidate, ALL the votes of that state go to the one candidate.  And, not many folks are aware, but the electoral college does not have go to by the 51%, although they usually do.  Some states have laws that require them to follow the will of the people, but most do not.  Maine & Nebraska are the only states that have the option to "split their votes" & to date have not done so.  


Many folks believe we live in a democracy.  We do not.  We live in a "democratic republic," meaning that some things are done by election (Congress) but most things (the president, bills/laws) are not.  


I personally think we should go to straight democracy for electing a president.  I think that we should not be pulling "party lines" when electing our representatives but looking at the voting record for incumbents & other issues for new folks running for election.  I think it should be much easier to get an independent into office, congress or president, than it is currently.  


But i'm tired of hearing fear-mongering about Mr. Obama.  Please.  If you have the belief system that everything is ordained & predestined by God (that is not my belief system) then how is it that all this fear is occurring?  How could these things be happening outside the will of God?  


Fear is not part of who we are called to be as Christians.  Fear is not where we should be when voting.  Fear is not good in policy-making.  My favorite quote by Ben Franklin is:  "They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."  If you give into fear trying to gain safety, liberty will always lose.  


Sorry for the political rant, but i'm utterly fed up with some of the email i continue to receive.  

_______________________

The UTI is better, if i continue to take most of the items i listed before.  If i miss a dose i'm in pain again.  

We chose not do to any church today.  Looking forward to attending St. James for the Wednesday noon service.  :)





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I love sugar!!!

I'm lonely.  Duane is down the hill & no one seems to be "out there" in blogger/internet land.  But, tomorrow is the knitting group & i may go to the cooking demo with Elke (a friend from former church).  

I have lots i should be doing & i probably will, eventually.  


I'm trying to do a few days of simple meals, mostly raw food veggies.  But you know what?  I still am hungry doing that.  AND I WANT SUGAR!  I compromised yesterday by having a little fruit & a small amount of very dark chocolate (88%).  I did not touch the ice cream or the chocolate chip cookies.  I did not eat junk.  Today i'll have my favorite "egg nog" - raw milk with raw eggs, almond flavoring, & a small amount of stevia.  Yum.  :)


Yesterday i woke up with a severe UTI (tho i could feel it coming on the night before).  It was very, very painful & i cried.  Involuntarily.  The tears simply forced themselves out with the pain.  


However, i remembered what dear friend Dawn had told me a while ago:  Baking soda in water takes care of the pain quickly.  (She recommended, if i remember, 1 tsp in 8 oz of water.)   It did help.  I'm amazed at how quickly it worked & worked well.  As there are essentially no antibiotics i can use safely, i'm dosing with a number of herbs & other things.  I've done this before & it is quite effective.  Here is what i'm doing:

• I mix 2 tsp of baking soda (Bob's Redmill) in 14 oz of water & drink 2-3 oz every couple of hours
• I'm taking about 2 Tb of Colloidal Silver 3 x per day (probably for 3 days)
• I'm taking Uristatin (supplement from the chiropractor) 2 caps 3 x per day
• I'm taking D-Mannose 2 caps 3 x per day
• I'm drinking appx 3 oz of cranberry juice with 3 oz of tart cherry juice & 2 oz of water (3 x per day with the supplements)

Baking soda is supposedly not contaminated by aluminum, but i'm not sure i trust that report.  I buy huge bags of Arm & Hammer for household cleaning, but i buy Bob's Redmill for baking & consumption.  I have found that i eventually get used to the taste of baking soda in water & i think if i drank a small amount every day, i probably wouldn't even get the infections, but i'm not always good at following thru on this. 


I know that using colloidal silver is considered controversial these days.  In part that is because of the man who turned blue (purple/blue?) by using a silver preparation.  What is rarely said about this, however, was the reality behind what happened.  There are a number of different ways of getting silver into solution.  The blue man made his own concoction.  He also was drinking a huge amount every day.  Taking a small amount of a commercially prepared silver solution for a few days while ill will not turn you blue.  I know the FDA does not support using colloidal silver, but the FDA backs the pharmaceutical companies in all things.   Silver was used in medicine prior to the introduction of antibiotics.  In all cases that i've read about argyria (the turning the skin grey or blue) the person was taking large doses of the solution for a long period of time.  I will need to start using probiotics when i'm done with the silver because it can kill the good gut bacteria just as other antibiotics do.  


Uristatin is a dietary supplement made by Thorne Research & contains bearberry, short buchu, goldenseal, & echinacea (all herbs).  The D-Mannose i buy is by Solaray & contains "CranActin."  If i would take a couple of caps of D-Mannose daily that would probably be a good preventative, also.  



I buy pure cranberry juice, not a "cocktail" which has little juice & much sweetener.  It is tart!  Even tho what i buy is not concentrated, i still put a little bit of water in it.  It also keeps in the fridge for a long, long time.  (I'm talking months, here.)  The tart cherry i buy (organic) is not nearly as tart as the cranberry.  I like it a lot.  However, i've come to believe that juices are not the best choice of drink.  So i use these juices mostly for treatment.  I'd heard before that cherries, or even specifically tart cherries, are good for inflammation & pain.  When i first heard that cherries were not in season, so my choices were limited.  I don't remember it being particularly helpful for my pain issues, so the cherry juice i had sat on the shelf for quite a while.  About 3 weeks ago i was in quite a lot of pain & thought i'd give it a try again, & to my surprise, it was very effective.  


But, i'd encourage you to figure these things out for yourself.  However, even if you choose to use conventional modern medicine & drugs, taking the baking soda in water will help with the pain issue from UTI quite quickly.  

________________________

I called Lori today to hear the rest of the duck story.  Up & down is that they kept the babies safe over night.  The next AM mama showed up & got them & took them off somewhere.  The lady at the wildlife refuge also told them what Lori & i strongly felt:  You don't take the babies away from mama.   She said that as long as the mama was living - the ducklings were not orphaned or abandoned, that they will not interfere.  So, we think this had a happy ending.  Mama & babies reunited & off somewhere happily.  (At least, not squashed in the street, as far as we can tell.)



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