My favorite folks ! :)

30 July 2009

Much better day

For whatever reason, today went much better. Probably all the prayers folks are so kindly sending up on my behalf.

Also, i didn't try to do music in the prayer park.

I'm home now, vegging on the couch with a couple of kitties sitting right beside me! This is something as neither are lap cats. They do like to be "near the people" but not usually in touching distance. If i'm upstairs most often they are too, also if i'm downstairs they are usually somewhere near. I think they've missed me the past couple of days. Which is kind of funny seeing as they are on their own across 3 days of the week. But Jazz is even letting me pet him, which is highly unusual.

I can't stay here too long. I have a bill that must get in the mail today or we face big penalities, so i'm going to drive it to the P.O. But it is kind of pleasant here now with the cats.

Today i took lots of pictures (well, 146) of the kids & staff. I can't show most of them of course, but here is our "Mister Moses." He played Moses for the 10 Commandments last year & they asked him back this year to do the stories again, tho the stories are Daniel in the lion's den, David & Golaith, & Zaccheus.

My memory is that he did really well last year. But this morning i listened to part of it & it seemed way over the children. We have a number of 4 year olds, & their attention span was short. My thought was actually that i could tell that he had taught college age. :) But i only caught part, & i remember before & how good he was in engaging the children in his story. Also, as our Pastor pointed out, each day the kids are a bit more tired & pushing the limits.

It went very well today. No uncomfortable conversations & i didn't get too tired, at least while i was there. I did have a plan B to leave after the AM music & let another person (she said she would) take over the music, but i didn't need to.

Right now i need to get the bill in the mail & then probably take a nap. Duane will be home later today. :)

Thank you for your prayers, good thoughts, good energy, & encouragement. I appreciate it.


29 July 2009

Home :)

Home from VBS.

I knew i was more limited this year than i was even last year, but didn't realize how much until today. I got thru the music, but spent the next 1-1/2 hours deeply coughing.

I wish i could post the pics i took of the kids. They turned out just precious. I stood them in front of one of the stained glass windows & snapped the pics with flash. Without flash they were just silhouettes. These turned out delightful, however. (Isn't digital wonderful!?!) They did a picture frame craft today & those pics will be put in the frames for the kids to take home. But i've real issues about posting pics of kids that are not mine without permission.

This is the window i posed them in front of for the pics.

About my post yesterday: I know my dear friend loves me no matter what. I had discussed it some with him thru his visit. With people i trust i do talk about it. But frankly, i find it very humbling & sometimes humiliating for folks to actually "see" me when i can't function. I haven't much left, but i guess i do have some pride in the fact that usually i "look normal" & most folks don't know how limited i am.

And this is the reason: Today at church for the VBS i was not able to "look normal." Beyond coughing (& sounding like i was about to die) i had to lie down & rest on & off for much of the AM. And so, folks i don't know very well & don't trust much now know. I'm not saying that of all the folks in my church. Some i do trust enough to tell, but they are a select few & in general i'd prefer to continue appearing normal.

But today that wasn't an option & i had to give some explanation.

And so, i got a lecture from one lady on how i need to find a doctor who can treat me & to "pray the scripture promises," & "not doubt that God will heal you" etc., etc. She said several times, "God doesn't want you to be sick." ??? Excuse me, that implication is that i'm not doing something right here. I'm sick because i don't have enough faith.

Sorry, i've been thru this multiple times before. I'm not going to listen to such twaddle. I've heard her opinions enough to know i don't trust her very much, but i found this very disturbing. I told her that God tells us that he uses our weaknesses to show his glory & power, but she brushed that aside & told me God doesn't want me sick.

I was angry about it at first, but now, frankly, i'm just crying. I guess this is unresolved for me & she really hit a nerve.

But, before this happened, i'd gone outside (to cough) so that i wouldn't be disturbing to the folks inside. And as i sat on the back step and looked at the blue, blue sky & the lovely green trees i was just so appreciative. I was thinking about Sara Frankl. I read her blog. She loves the Lord & praises him & writes such interesting & thought provoking things. But her health has gotten worse & worse & she is sharing more of her struggle. She doesn't like to. Like me, she would rather focus on things other than her illness & limitations. Anyway, i was thinking of her & i was just so grateful. For i can go outside & enjoy the beauty of God's earth. Sara cannot. Going outside makes her very, very ill. And she is in a great deal of pain. The pain i have is not very extreme. So i can be thankful for what i do have. And i have so much.

And i've already two people in mind to take over VBS music for me next year.


28 July 2009

Busy Week

Well, Saturday night we had wonderful friends to dinner. THEY brought the food & cooked it! It was delicious & so wonderful. I did make chocolate chip cookies.

Yesterday my dear friend Greg came. He is my best friend from college, & we've not spent time together in such a long time. He stayed over night & left this afternoon. I did pretty well until mid-afternoon. We just were window shopping in some different stores in the Village, not looking for anything special, & i turned a corner & hit the wall! NOT literally, but i was going along just fine, & then out of the blue it was like, "I have to get home. I have to lie down." I sure wish i could have more warning.

And i thought i was going to get thru the two days looking entirely normal to Greg, & that blew it. I lay down after giving him a hug & spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch. I did take a short nap, & so hope i'm rested for tomorrow is the start of a 3 day Vacation Bible School.

These are pics from the past 2 years. As i have no one's permission to use these, i've chosen the ones where the children are not easily identifible.

And, i think i've figured out how to get around the short schedule for the music. I have been given more time on the schedule than she originally told me, but part of the problem is that they interrupt part of the AM to go outside to our prayer park. But this is very disruptive. Duane suggested i take the music out with us & sing outside in the prayer park. Then the disruption happens after the music, not before. I think it is a good idea & plan to implement it. :)

I'll be pretty tired tomorrow, i'm sure.


24 July 2009

Early AM

We live in an eclectic neighborhood. Several of the homes nearby are owned by people who are "full timers." A couple are rented by "full timers" also. A few are owned by folks who are "weekenders." And some, but mostly about a block away, are rentals for weekends (like motels). Very common up here in this resort area, but not so many in our neighborhood. So it is a nice blend. (Duane & i are "full time" because we don't own another home somewhere else. But work does require us to be away a couple of days a week. :( We'd rather be home, but have to go where we can work.)

The two houses directly across the street from us are owned by "K" a full timer & "D" a weekender. K owns chickens & D has a cockatoo he brings up with him. The cockatoo can be quite loud.

Last weekend D was building a deck & Duane went over to help with that. When he came home we sat out on our porch swing for a while watching the world & talking.

Eventually Duane asked me, "Do you hear K's rooster in the mornings?" (He sleeps thru anything, but i wake easily & early.)

"No," i replied.

"D does!" Duane responded (with maybe a little glee behind the thought.)

Now, i can't imagine having my bedroom next to a loud rooster (well, actually i can. When we lived in Costa Mesa one of my neighbors evidently had trouble waking up & would set his alarm EXTREMELY loud & it would go on & on. Weekends he'd be away & it would still go as he wasn't home to shut it off. Annoying beyond words.) I know that at 5 AM a loud rooster is not a laughing matter. But at the moment it did strike me as funny, & we laughed rather hard.

When we stopped laughing i asked, "Why would K have a rooster? I thought he was keeping them for eggs?"

"I don't know," Duane answered. "But D is very aware of it."

Then something struck me - "He's going to be very unhappy if his cockatoo learns to imitate that rooster!"

This hit us both as very funny & we laughed a lot.

I'm thinking of it this AM because i do hear the rooster in the early AM quiet. But it is not that loud & would not wake me if i was not already awake. The rooster is not nearly as loud for me as the cockatoo the weekends the cockatoo is here.

(Photo is a stock photo from Google images.)


22 July 2009


Courtesy of the wonderful Mr. Duane. :)


20 July 2009


I'm feeling particularly grumpy tonight.

We had a beautiful sunset & i went to get the camera & it wasn't where it belonged. I looked a couple of places it doesn't belong but might be. Not there either. Duane had it with him.

The sunset was really glorious, tho.

Also, next week is VBS. I always do the music with the kids (3rd year now) & i ALWAYS have to fight to get enough time. They seem so happy to have me do it, why do i have to fight for enough time? Children love to sing.

Our VBS isn't very big. We often have the same children year to year. I will have three new songs to teach them this year & do you know how much time they've given me on the schedule? Ten minutes. TEN MINUTES. I don't want to do this. And i haven't energy to fight for it.

On a nice note, Duane & i "camped out" last night. We've a big hammock on the upstairs deck outside his office. We put on a foam pad & some sheets, took out our pillows & duvet cover & slept under the stars. Too bad that my eyes are so blind i really couldn't see them. We were lucky, it didn't rain. Sunday AM it rained for a little while about 5.30 AM.

It was lovely! And it only dropped to 55 F, so we didn't freeze!


18 July 2009

Two favorite pics

When my family first moved to Montana, i had just turned 8. I was told that it was very beautiful & where we would be living had "mountains all around it."

So i was disappointed when we first arrived in Bozeman. Yes, there were mountains all around, but the distant mountains were 75 miles away or more. I had been picturing a narrow valley with mountains close by.

I got over the disappointment, of course. And i do think Bozeman very beautiful. But i never forgot that original expectation of "mountains all around." Big Bear is rather like that.

When i was growing up i never learned to ski. So i didn't spend much time in Bridger Canyon where the ski hill was located. But when Duane & i honeymooned in Yellowstone & later Bozeman, we stayed at a B&B in Bridger Canyon. It was there i saw the "mountains all around." These are two pics of that canyon. It was what i had imagined i would be moving to. And, if i were independently wealthy & could live wherever i wanted, this would be it.

A funny story from that move to Montana. I thought i'd told it before, but i can't find it.

On our trip to Bozeman, we stopped at Custer's Battlefield, since politically-correctly renamed the Little Bighorn Battlefield. This national monument is in eastern Montana. I rode most of the trip with mother, Sis #2 (who was 4-1/2) rode most of the way with daddy.

(As retold by daddy):

When we were maybe half an hour past the battlefield, Sis #2 asked, "Daddy, are there Indians in Montana?"

The reply was, yes, there are Indians in Montana.

Perhaps 20 minutes passed, & Sis #2 asked, "Daddy, are there bears in Montana."

The reply again was, yes, there are bears in Montana.

Some time passed & Sis #2 said, "Daddy, i don't think we should move to Montana."

When asked why, Sis stated, "If the Indians don't get us, the bears will!"

I can add that at 8 years old i really hadn't any idea what we were moving to. We had been told many stories & i expected wild country. It was rather tame to drive into town & stay at the Best Western. I think i'm a generation behind those that thought all the "west" was wide open plains, ranches, rodeos, & Indian raids. (Largely because of the presentation of Hollywood of those things.) But i think many of the stories my young uncles told before we left must have reflected these ideas.


Third Rail

I didn't know what "third rail" meant really, until Rosemary explained it. I do tend to be passionate about subjects that are considered controversial or not acceptable to discuss.

As a massage therapist, i often have folks ask me, "Can you feel that?" when i'm working on them. If "that" is muscle tightness or spasm, then yes, i almost always can feel it. However, i do NOT know how the person i am working on experiences it. For some folks it is a little discomfort. For others it is extreme pain. Some folks don't notice how it effects them at all, & others are greatly restricted by it.

At times i have to work very hard to get the person to tell me what they are feeling. They seem to expect that i know. It is true that i've gotten good at reading body language. Just watching a person walk or move often will tell me the muscles that are restricted. Or the tremor of toes, or motion in fingers often tell me that i'm getting close or have gone over the person's pain tolerance. So people are surprised that i usually can quickly find "their spot" & treat it. But i myself do not FEEL it.

In a similar manner, i think it is typical of folks these days to expect their doctors to "know" things. I lived that way for a long time. It was not very beneficial, & the docs ultimately convinced me i was depressed or worse. It is true i was depressed, but i think it was a natural outcome of having physical symptoms dismissed & left to undermine my health. When the docs told me they could find no physical reason for my symptoms & so i must be "depressed" i took their pronouncement as law, because doctors "know" things. So it must be "all in my head."

This subject is far too complicated & lengthy for me to articulate it well (& certainly not briefly), but for starters, i believe we have sold our birthright, so to speak. This country is founded on the principle that most folks are intelligent enough to make good choices & responsible enough to take the consequences of their actions in said choices. A whole shelf of books can be written about this in many different areas, but i'm speaking simply of the medical field.

Many of us have been taught that doctors "know" things & give them a lot of respect. Perhaps more confidence than they deserve. They DO know things. They study long & hard to learn what they know. But, at least for the past 40 years or so, what they are taught is very carefully crafted to be along the lines of drugs, drugs, surgery, & drugs. Many of them do not know how to assess the very statistics on which research is reported, & we all know how statistics can be manipulated. Also, to be frank, common sense & critical thinking are not encouraged in their curriculum.

There are exceptions to this, of course. But with the current paradigm of insurance, etc., & the push to see too many patients in too short of a time, most docs simply do not have the time to think thru a typical patient's issues. So, in a normal 7 minute office visit they hear symptoms, think of the drugs they know to treat the symptoms, write a script to treat those symptoms, & send the patient on their way. Finding the reason for the symptoms & treating the cause rarely crosses their reasoning processes.

The U.S. "health care" system has one of the worst records among industrialized nations for the outcome of our care. It does have some benefits. Right now we have a lot of freedom in choosing a doc or alternative treatment or taking vitamins & other supplements. We are about to lose many of those choices. In the current "health care" bill being drafted, new private policies will not be allowed to be written. In a generation, all people will be covered by the governmental health care program. And we know how efficiently & frugally they manage our money now. Wow, just think what it is likely to do to our choices in health care. (The last 2 sentences were meant as sarcasm. I've put "health care" in quotes because what we currently have is not health care, it is disease perpetuation.)

Why is this on my mind, today? For a couple of reasons, i guess. One is that the appointment with the doctor i saw last week continues to chafe me. Another is that Duane & i had an extensive conversation about my health this week. Another is that my lips are swollen again. And because of different food choices i've been making.

In general, i eat a fairly healthy, mostly organic diet devoid of meat products except occasional fish. I do still eat eggs, honey, & mostly raw dairy. (I mention this because "vegan" is eating no animal products at all including things like cheese, butter, & honey.)

However, before our trip i was very stressed & began to sometimes eat "conveniently" meaning fast food i normally would not touch. And after our trip i was so discouraged by my lack of energy & limitations i didn't change that pattern. And what is the result? Even less energy, body rashes, my eyesight is worse, internal disturbances & infections (i think i have a low-grade UTI), my head is itchy for the first time in several years since i changed to organic shampoos. Now, i am striving to change this & return to my healthy way of eating.

But i can't help but ponder what the result would be if i went to a M.D. for the rashes or my lips being swollen. I doubt very much the doc would know to ask about diet. Or, even if he recognized diet as the issue, i think the search would focus more on specific foods. And i mention that because i think the problem is chemicals.

Most folks don't know that 70% of corn grown & 90% of soybean grown in the U.S. are genetically modified/engineered. We don't know all the results of GM/GE technology or what kind of effect it will have ultimately. However, some are specifically engineered so that they can have more pesticides used on them without killing the plant. Essentially, any non-organic item with corn, soybean, or derivatives of these plants (the oil or other products using them) is almost certainly made of GM/GE plants & high on the chemicals/pesticides as well.

Our bodies process what we eat & drink in various different ways. One is thru the urinary system, another the digestive system. Both of these rely heavily on the kidneys & liver for detoxification. And extra chemicals stress these systems. But another that is often overlooked is our skin. We excrete toxins thru sweat.

It is my belief that this is the origin of the rash i'm fighting, & also of my itchy scalp. It is after i've been too warm & have been sweating that my scalp itches unbearably. (And if you think this is "normal," let me tell you it is not.) And, with my lips swollen i think it is the reaction to something in the lip balm i used last night. It is a good one, but i'm obviously reacting to it. The last time my lips were swollen like this i believe was poisoning by Splenda. That lasted for more than a week & was very uncomfortable.

Some folks might try to tell me that i'm "very sensitive" to chemicals, etc. And, yes, that is true. However, it is my belief that most folks are "very sensitive" but they just are not recognizing it. How many chronic issues are directly related back to processed food & other chemicals? I doubt we can even begin to guess. How many people see the doc every week complaining of some skin complaint?

When a body is bombarded with it all the time our bodies are in survival mode & doing what they have to to process the stuff. Once it is removed by a healthy, largely organic diet some folks seem even more sensitive. I believe that is because the body is better able to respond directly to an insult. It is said that a person is not allergic to bees on the first sting. Allergic reactions that are severe happen with subsuquent exposure when the body reacts violently. I think the same thing is true with food/chemical items. Once the offending items are removed, the body reacts more violently in later exposures.

This brings me back to my original thought: i know my body best. You know your body best. It is false logic & faulty thinking to expect a doc to "know" what is going on with me. If the doc is well trained & capable of critical thinking & common sense, he might be able to guide me in the direction to find a cause/reason/cure/proper response. But if that doc tells me that what i'm thinking is all in "my head" & is not confident that i know my body & what is not right, that doc is not to be trusted. And if i choose to believe said doc, then i am selling my birthright of independent thinking & the belief that i can make good decisions.


17 July 2009

Summer thunder storms

I grew up in Montana. Lived there from age 8 until i turned 20. We lived outside Bozeman, which is 90 miles north of Yellowstone Park. And beautiful. Part of the reason i fell in love with Big Bear is because it is a little like Montana.

(A little. Ok, kind of a pale copy, but BB has benefits of its own that Montana doesn't have.)

Anyway, i remember summer days on my parents' place. They had 10 acres about 10 miles out of town. They built it the year i turned 11.

This is the view from their back door. There were not so many houses around when i was growing up.

Anyway, often on summer afternoons i would watch a summer storm move across the valley. I don't remember the summers there being terribly hot, but a summer storm always made the air fresh & cool. It was always such a treat to have a summer storm roll thru.

I think it took about 4 years for it to sink in with me that California is NOT the same. The few times we had a summer storm come thru i waited for that lovely, refreshing breeze that follows the storm. It isn't there in Southern California. In fact, i learned that a summer storm makes it worse.

Southern California near the beaches is not terribly dry, but it does not have the humidity that is notorious on the eastern part of the U.S. So the heat isn't so terrible, usually. But after a summer storm the humidity rises & it feels like you are in a sauna. Oh, it is simply awful.

When we went down the hill on Tuesday the weather was reporting expected clouds but they did not predict any moisture from said clouds. So it was a surprise on Thursday to find the roads wet in places on our way home. Our drive wasn't wet, but the ground showed evidence of recent rain. And i would guess we've gotten half an inch of rain off & on today. At times it has come down quite heavily but doesn't last long. And, of course it is a bit more humid, but nothing like Orange County or Long Beach after such a rain.

Of course, our temp is currently 78 F & the high all summer has been 82. Until this past week it has still be in the 40s at night, but this week we broke that & the lows are in the low 50s. Our second floor does get warm during the day (about 78) & so it takes a while to cool down. But this is SO much nicer than the rest of Southern California!

My parents moved from Montana long ago. I miss Montana. I still visit from time to time, but not often enough. Here are some more pics from (some) of the view from the front of the house where i grew up. Duane turned these into a panorama & it is beautiful, but the drawback is that puts them out of proportion. And the house itself as it is now (red) & not long after i moved away (yellow).


15 July 2009

Greasy, grimy, gopher guts

I often am at a loss for a title.

As always i've plenty bopping around my head, but i think the "me, me, me" style of my posting gets to me at times & i need a break. So i go read about other folks. :)

There are so many types of blogs. Some are like wonderful magazine articles or pics, or like catalogs with pics of home decor, or there are wonderful cooking ones too. I tend to write more like i would in a journal, so sometimes i bore even myself.

Think i'm not going to do the linky s anymore for a while, either. I've met some really wonderful folks thru them, but i find it hard to open page after page after page of cute children & babies. No offense. To those with kids i love hearing of your lives, & particularly if we actually interact it means a lot to me. But, quite honestly, i'm a bit bitter & fighting with it. I opened over 250 of the 900+ on that last linky, & most
of them were beautiful babies, etc. It just got to be a bit much. I kept pushing myself on (being a bit obsessive-compulsive i wanted to do them ALL) but started to get overwhelmed & depressed. Just too many folks for me to try to work thru.

We thought this a funny name for a store in Jackson Hole, WY.

There is upheaval soon to come in our family soon. Fortunately, it probably won't effect us too much. I mentioned Sis #2 is moving with 5 of her kids. I just learned that she did not inform said kids of such a move. They thought it was a temporary thing. The oldest still at home is soon to be 18 & just graduated HS. She was planning to live @ home & commute to school. The move Sis #2 is planning is 1,000 miles away.
Huge change, but she didn't tell any of the kids. ! ! ! ! The youngest is 9, so they are all old enough to have been told. So i'm angry at Sis on their behalf, & sad for the family.

None of my business, but i'm trying to pray for them.

Not a moose, but he does have antlers!

Sis #3 is dating someone a lot older than herself. He is very nice, but not who i would wish for her. Life sure isn't very fair.

Duane & i talked extensively on our choices for having a family. It doesn't look very good, doesn't feel very good. I'll write on that some other time.

It is hard to believe, but with 9000+ pics i'm scrambling for things to post! Many, many of those pics are people, however. And many of the total need to be culled.

Oh, i've still plenty of beautiful pics. Will have to go thru them more thoroughly. I've some beautiful sunsets from a couple of years ago. Have a good day! I'm not as depressed as i sound, i promise! :)


13 July 2009

Lake pics

In going thru the pics Duane shot when we took a lake tour a couple of years ago, i discovered he had taken a shot of the B&B where i worked Saturday. It doesn't look like much in this pic, but i was working from the top & it felt like we were right on the water & it had a 270 degree view. It is simply beautiful.


11 July 2009

Enough time has passed

In the immediate aftermath of our "vacation" & celebrating my parents' anniversary, i didn't want to fall into the pattern of complaining about the whole thing. But it has been bugging me.

Seems like i must have written on it some, but i'm not finding it. My posts have been full of other complaints.

In a nutshell, both sisters insisted we do the food for the party ourselves, while i was holding out to have it catered. Nothing huge or fancy, but someone else minding the food so we could mind other things & visit with the family. No, no, no, my sissies insisted that we could do it ourselves, & it would cost less. Well, let me say that Duane & i paid for all the food & we could have had it catered for that price. And much, much less stress. Sis #2 in particular insisted she wanted to bake cupcakes, & do this, & do that, etc., etc. I kept telling her that one of her daughters was getting married, another was graduating HS, & that she was planning to move that summer with 5 of her 6 kids (the other one having gotten married). "You will have enough stress going on without adding this in," i kept saying. But no, she kept insisting that this is how she wanted to do it.

Well, you can guess how it turned out. Sis #3 had the foresight to order cakes in advance & say, "If we have cup cakes too, that will be fine." I wish i'd had the foresight to do the same with the catering, but i didn't know that we would end up paying for all the food. The idea had been "we" three girls would share these expenses. So i didn't feel i could insist on catering. I didn't know that we would foot the bill anyway, & if i had had any inkling it would turn out that way i would have been on the phone with caterers.

Sis #2 was to arrive on Thur evening as Duane & i did. However, she was too stressed & didn't arrive until Fri evening - with a lot of drama surrounding the whole thing. So Sis #3 & i spent Friday afternoon setting up the room, we did the decorations, & all the shopping for extras & most of the shopping for groceries. (An aunt was kind enough to do some of the grocery shopping.)

So Sis #2 arrived the night before the party stressed because of this, & this, & that. And i was peeved with her because i could see that was how it would be 4 months before the event.

The other thing that greatly irritated me was that my mother's one wish was that the "whole family" attend church together - their church of course. She stated that wish many times. Duane & i were not so comfortable with it, but my feeling was that this was one thing my mother sincerely wanted & this one time we could honor her wish. And Sis #2 was too stressed to get out of bed & go to church that Sunday morning.

Sis #3 was up at 5.30 AM to begin working for the party that began at 11. I was not up that early, but i had been up most of the night working on a project (a DVD of music & pics to be shown at the party). So Sis #2 showed up to the party (at my parents' church) 15 minutes before the party began. She flitted around & put up some enlargements of pics, & then visited with the family that arrived. While Sis #3 & i had been there since about 9.30 AM making the punch & sweet tea, putting the food in the ovens, making salads, rolls, etc. Some of the aunts & uncles pitched in as well.

Well, it is over & done. But, Duane & i funded a large part of this, & Sis #3 paid for a lot of it as well. While i helped a lot & did what i could, Sis #3 did the lion's share of the physical work. And, while Duane & i are very careful about money, the past 6 months or so have seen improvement in our finances (a year ago they were very, very tight) so that we were able to do what we did without it hurting us. But Sis #3 is single, living in a tiny apartment she can barely afford & struggling to make ends meet while she finishes counselor-training/hours to be a licensed Marriage Family Therapist. Also, her car had died about 3 weeks before this & she was looking at having to replace it. So i told her, if Sis #2 made any effort to assist in the expenses, Sis #3 was to take the money.

It had been bugging me, & i was getting ready to write Sis #2 suggesting she right this inequality. But i talked to Sis #3 first to see if anything had been done. Sis #3 doesn't remember, or states she doesn't. She said her irritation was over the fact that she & i ended up doing all the work. But again, that's water under the bridge that cannot be rectified. Done. We talked a bit & i thought i'd still write Sis #2, until Sis #3 told me that she had paid Sis #2 to borrow her car. !!!!! What the - ?

Sis #3 was going to rent a car but was freaking out over the cost it would be. She learned that Sis #2 had a car she would be able to use, & so Sis #3 offered to pay her some amount of money (less than renting a car) to use that car. Sis #2 told her she didn't have to pay anything, but Sis #3 insisted. So, she not only didn't get reimbursed for any money she spent on the party, she paid to use a car. At that point i said to myself, "Kathryn, you need to walk away from this one."

I find that (revealing my sinfulness here) i was looking forward to taking Sis #2 to task. But it became very clear to me in that conversation that i need to leave this as something between those sisters & not get involved. When it was clear cut: Sis #2 didn't help fund any of the expenses that "we" had for the party, it wasn't so hard. But throw in this other issue, nothing to do with me, & i need to leave it alone. Except to complain about the unfairness of families & how some people can be so inconsiderate. Done. Have now excised all the frustration.

I did a couple's massage (tandem, with another therapist) at a B&B today. This B&B sits right on the water between BB dam & Fawnskin & has the most gorgeous view of the lake & mountains i can imagine. It was a treat to be there, almost so much so that getting paid for the massage was simply a bonus.

For anyone who wonders how i'm able to do massage with my physical limitations, here is my answer: I'm doing what i'm "suppose" to do. I'm doing what God created me to do. I don't work many hours (probably an average of 5 a week) but when i'm working it is literally as if God opens the well springs & for that short period of time i do have energy.

However, i'm very limited about being able to do "out call" massages where i go other places & drag my table & equipment along. Honestly i could do 4 massages in my office with the energy it takes me to do one out call. So i don't do those often. Duane almost always goes along & shlups the equipment for me, but they still wear me out quickly.

But today's work was worth the price. I wish i had a picture of that view. And . . . our 5th wedding anniversary is coming up, so spending a night or two there might really be something special! Then i would get pictures.


10 July 2009

Just a thought

After the reaction of a couple of my friends about my disappointment over the new doctor, i've come to a conclusion.

Expecting a conventional medicine man (witch doctor?) to think outside the box & utilize "unconventional treatment" is like trying to milk a horse or ride a cow. It might be done in some circumstances, but with much discomfort & displeasure to all involved.


My office

I came across a post by someone stuck in "a cave" of an office that had no windows. Dr. Geske talked about moving me to another room that has no windows. In some ways that wouldn't be bad. The window in my office makes summer afternoons very warm. But i think i would miss the window a lot.

That post made me realize i haven't posted much (at all) about my office. I took some pics long ago to put on my website, but haven't done so yet.

So here are some pics from my office in Costa Mesa. I had not realized the quality of these isn't that good. Guess i need some different ones for my website.

Our wonderful office administrator, Lori.

This is Drs. Cheri Ketner & Dean Geske.
Dr. Ketner has retired from chiropractic work since this pic was taken.

And here are some from the spa where i sometimes work in Big Bear Lake. I usually do "outcall" - going to a home or bed & breakfast - these days. But sometimes i still work at this little spa. Two different massage rooms, these tables are not in the same room.