The weather report (Ben's Weather) informs us that March has had 20 inches so far, and it is still coming down.
I'm snuggled in bed still (at 10 AM, but i have told you i spend much of my time there) with two "cat warmers." But i have to get up before long and make a trip into town. I need some ingredients for cooking (Olivia is coming this afternoon to cook), the kitties are out of treats, the car needs gas, and a few other things.
Here at home i need to do some laundry, and i'd like to do some clean up in the kitchen so Olivia won't have too much to do.
On the menu today: Manicotti! (Gluten free) Also some to freeze as well as lasagna and perhaps some meat sauce for Duane to use with spaghetti. I think that if we group "like" food things together like this we can make more food in a short period of time.
Duane is cringing because it is cold out (well, not REALLY cold, just about 32F) and the SAR group is planning an all day and overnight camping trip this weekend. They leave at 8 AM tomorrow & come back sometime mid-day Sunday. Duane doesn't need any more training but he was told the team needs him. He'll have fun.
Next week i am staying home for one of the scheduled "recover weeks," but it is also Spring Break for the kids so i'll try to have them over. Lynnette just posted a recipe for GF scones. I think it might be fun to try them with Sierra. She likes tea parties with my good china. (Disclaimer, i personally believe these days that breads, grains, and the like and especially sugar are very bad for our health. But, well, once in a while you just gotta have some.)
Oh, and i'm going to try yet another new doctor. I have tried several now, and have been very frustrated. I'm rather cynical about the whole thing now, and trying a new doc seems an exercise in futility. Two of the docs have put me on such restrictive diets that there is little i can eat. I am feeling that the failure is all on my part as i'm not good at sticking to a regime. A small part of me feels that it isn't 100% me (probably 95% is me), tho, because the recommendations i'm getting are not taking into consideration who i am and what i can do.
If nothing else, i need to stick with this new doc even if i don't improve, because i need the documentation for my continued disability. I'm hopeful because she is coming with such high recommendation from Kim (the PT i work with), but i'm afraid to be too hopeful. The appointment is on 14 April.
So that is the news in this part of the world. Duane is going to take That Jeep in because it won't stay locked in 4WD, which is a problem. So i need to go pick him up and do the town errands.
What do you have planned for the weekend?
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Can you believe January is over already? It went by so quickly.
We've been having an unusually mild winter so far. We did get snow Sunday night - about 1/4 inch. It melted off quickly, except in the shadows, on Monday. Last night was 14F and tonight is predicted to be colder than that.
I seem to be terribly cranky these days. I'm home this week. Was feeling poorly after i got up this AM. It is better now, but i'm achy.
I didn't double check Holly's work on Friday. The fact is in my house, dishes often don't get done for some time. I spent about 3 hours in the kitchen on Monday doing really detailed clean up. I re-washed everything that she had washed. Every bit of it. As well as some she should have washed but did not. To be fair, not all of that time was what Holly didn't clean properly. Some of it was from our dishes from the weekend, or a couple of things the dishwasher didn't get cleaned.
But i was really unhappy to find that she had put my good iron skillet - wet - upside down on my good cutting board. It created some kind of seal and kept the interior moist. The cutting board now has a permanent iron stain, and the inside of the skillet is entirely rusted. I have wanted to re-surface and re-season this particular skillet, but it was working fine. I have no choice now, it has to be done before that skillet can be used again.
Duane and i talked about what i would say to her about this. The fact is, even tho my house does not reflect it, i am a perfectionist. The house may be cluttered, it may even be dirty, but i am aware of every bit that needs to be done. When i have the energy to clean, i want it done well. I expect the same from someone i pay to do the work.
So i was so very, very tired and not very happy when she came to work yesterday. And i was really, really unhappy when she left.
Part of this is my fault. I didn't plan well, i didn't supervise, and i didn't make absolutely clear what i wanted. She made Alfredo sauce, and steamed broccoli for us, with (gluten-free) pasta. I'd already poached the chicken for Duane to blacken to go with his (he likes to do it himself).
She made it up and presented it as complete - so i had Duane take her home even tho it wasn't even close to 2 hours yet. She DID make it look lovely - just the right amount on the plates, and a few spinach leaves with some tangerine segments on them. It looked delightful. So i was really shocked when Duane got back and we tasted the food. I came unglued. Neither of us like pasta al dente. It does not taste done to us. In fact, i don't think the pasta was al dente, i think it simply wasn't cooked. The broccoli wasn't done either.
So, i had to dirty 2 more pans (because i take much more broccoli than Duane), and another half an hour plus clean up time, just to try to get it cooked. It turned out okay, but not as good as it would have had it been done properly.
So, on top of the cost of food - because i paid for that - that meal cost us $30. We don't usually spend that much money when we do eat out; they provide the food/supplies, and they clean up! I was livid. Poor Duane! He wasn't sure it was safe to be in the kitchen, but i think he was afraid to leave me alone.
No, i had not talked to her about the clean up job, and what she did Monday was fine. But i think her expectations and my expectations don't begin to match up.
Frankly, when she talked about being "paid by the job" on Friday, it put an entirely different twist on things with which i'm not comfortable. It put things in a rather negative light, and when i shared my discomfort with someone else, she said, "She's gotten greedy. It made it negative. You need to say 'no.'"
The reality is, i'm hard to please. I think the women who have come in don't realize this because i'm not grumpy with them or confrontational. Yes, my house often is a cluttered mess. That does NOT mean i don't want it clean. I can tell you right now that the front door (which is a window) has streaks on it that need to be cleaned. There is Jazz fur on the carpet downstairs. I've a bunch of craft stuff hidden behind the couch that needs to be put away. And i've laundry to wash and more that is done but needs to be folded and put away. I could go on and on and on and on. I'm very aware of what needs to be done - i simply do not have the energy to do it.
This is why i love Kimmy's cleaning. She does the job i would do myself if i were able. But i think a few of the ladies come in and see the clutter and think i don't care. Or they don't know what a clean dish is.
The food is particularly hard. Both Duane and i are pretty fussy. I don't care for or like food much, so when i have it, i'm very fussy, it has to be good. I'm sad that i'm so particular. It makes things so much harder. I don't like that i'm hard to please.
So, now my quandary is: I planned to have Holly come for a couple of hours on Saturday to help me prepare some things for a Superbowl party we are going to attend. I could still have her come, and micro-manage the work she does. Including inspecting each and every dish. Part of me was thinking "If i have her come, at least the dishes will get done," but it's useless if i have to rewash all of it. But i don't want to give up if something has hope. I'm all about 2nd chances. But, Holly takes a lot of energy, too. I'm not sure i have the energy to manage Saturday.
Duane is going to be gone part of that day, but he said he could help me. Not to be negative, i think that would be fun . . . except i know in the past how that "help" has gone. I'll be in the middle of something, i've given him something to do, he does it and then disappears. There are a dozen other things to do, but he doesn't ask about anything more. If he's finished the one thing i mentioned, he's done. It is not "working together." And i end up doing all the dishes.
I know i sound like a cranky bitch. I am hard to please. I don't like that i'm this way. I think part of this frustration is that i just wish i could do it myself, and i know that i haven't the energy to do so. I find it very hard to pay someone to do a poor job. I don't like the feeling that i'm constantly complaining. I prefer to look at the bright side when possible.
On a positive note, we attended friend David's mama's memorial service on Saturday.
That sounds funny? She was almost 92, she'd lived a full life loved and cared for by her family, she was ready to go and had said so. It was a lovely service. But the one thing that really caught my attention was in the eulogy. It was read by David's sister, but i think he wrote this part (or maybe i'm mixed up and he said it). His mama was really uncomfortable and in a fair amount of pain the last couple of years of her life. The family did what they could to make her comfortable, including having massage therapists come, and David learned massage as well (and he is very good at it). David was doing most of her care-giving these past couple of years and he made it possible for her to remain in her own home until the end.
David said that, even in discomfort and pain, she would say at the end of each day, "Today was a good day."
I just find that so inspiring. It touches me at my core.
I've tried, since that day, to finish my day by saying to Duane, "Today was a good day." Even after my cranky mood yesterday. Today, of course, he is away from home, so i emailed that to him. Every day that we have each other is a good day.
So, do you have any recommendations for me? Am i asking too much and do you think i need to change my expectations?
Did January go by quickly for you? Did you have a good day? :)
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Murphy's Law abounds. Sigh. Yesterday i got to the Copper Q (recipes here) more than an hour before the cooking demo was due to start. I bought a gluten-free (made in store) granola bar and some hot tea. I brought knitting and staked out 3 chairs for myself and the two ladies coming to meet me. I've been told that there are often as many as 35 people there (with 12 places to sit) and folks come an hour in advance. I didn't want to stand this time and one of the ladies coming is elderly, she wouldn't want to stand, either.
We had a total of six of us. Yup, i arrived an hour early to stake out a chair no one wanted! It wasn't bad, and i got 7 rows done on the blanket (which is looking lovely and is so very soft!)
Carla, the person who does these demos, did Cream of Mushroom Soup. With a roux, which is made with flour (Roux happens to be my middle name). So, i was prepared not to be able to taste it. But she took some of the soup out before adding the roux, and made a small amount with cornstarch so i could try it. (She was curious, too, to know how it would taste compared to the one made with flour.) I "cheated" on being vegetarian/pescatarian because she made it with a "chicken base" - but after she went to the trouble to make this just for me, i didn't want to refuse it. It was simply wonderful. When i make it in the future, however, i'll make it with a vegetable broth/base. She said the flavor isn't much different with cornstarch over flour and the difference might be that she didn't add butter to what she made for me.
Anyway, i much appreciated the substitution and being able to taste the soup. I recommend making it yourself!
Which is another issue on which i've been thinking for a while.
I eat gluten free. There are a lot of GF sites and blogs nowdays. I appreciate them very much. But much is being done to try to "recreate" the current diet of most Americans (SAD = Standard American Diet, which frankly IS sad). There are lots of recipes which are for breads, pancakes, waffles, etc. The problem, as i see it, however, is that grains just aren't that healthy for us. I know the current (and many past) "food pyramids" have grains - pastas, breads, etc. - as the primary source of calories. Many folks seem to think that substituting "whole wheat" for a more processed flour makes things healthier.
But in all of my research, and it is extensive at this point, everything points toward eating grain but especially wheat products - even whole wheat - as a very poor choice for health.
Look at the history. Processed foods began to be introduced in the early 1900s. By 1950 there was much focus on "convenience foods" which made the life of the housewife easier. By the 70s these were pretty much staples in everyone's kitchens. In the 70s and 80s, however, much was said against cholesterol containing butter, whole milk, and other healthy fats. Grain products began to be pushed as a mainstay of our diets. (We were encouraged to stay out of the sun, too. The #1 health problem in the country now? Vitamin D deficiency.)
What has happened in the intervening 30+ years? Heart attacks, cancer, diabetes, and obesity are rampant and increasing in a manner that has many concerned. Many people are on daily medication for chronic health issues. As a nation, following these guidelines, we have become very unhealthy. Yet, little has been said about this. It seems to be part of our collective consciousness that soy = good (not true), grains = good, whole-fat milk, butter, etc = bad. I don't believe these lies and yet i still struggle with the idea that the Alfredo sauce we make with organic cheese, milk, and butter is "naughty."
So, i really struggle with making (or buying) GF cookies, pasta, bread, etc. because i have come to believe that grains should be a very small part of our diet. I don't deny them altogether, but i believe they should take the part of the "pyramid" currently assigned to fats.
I also believe the vegetable oils - long promoted as "healthy eating" - are NOT healthy. I believe that there is no room in our diets for soy, corn, canola, or the other oils that are promoted. If nothing else, these are highly processed not natural. They also come from products that are largely genetically modified. (According to Wikipedia, 93% of the soybeans in the US are GM, 86% of field corn, 93% of cotton, and 93% of canola.) This is a problem much larger than i can begin to touch here, but none of these products are safe.
Ok, enough of my rant. I just am struggling with the idea of not replacing the foods i used to eat with a GF product (except on occasion), but largely foregoing grains. If you want to know the sources for my coming to think this way, email me and i'll provide the info. Part of my problem, however, not being much of a cook and certainly not a creative one, and also being very much a product of our culture, i struggle with knowing WHAT to eat if i take out sandwiches, rolls/bread, and pasta. Also, frankly, my digestive system seems to work better with some grains. Veggies alone seem to cause issues.
I ran some errands in town after the cooking demo. Then i came home and rested. In the evening i watched TV and made more cards. Also envelopes to go with them (matching the paper i use on the card). The cards i bought (at 8 for $1) are very nice, but the envelopes that came with them are not so good. I had a mess in the living room as i brought down all the projects on which i'm working. I have: bibs for the coming babies, the blanket for my niece (Ellen's) child, Christmas crafts, and the cards. Also the sewing machine is set up on the table. And all my scissors, and office supplies, pens of all sorts, and other useful gadgets. A right mess.
I went to the Methodist church today. Enjoyed it. (It does feel weird to attend a church without Duane.)
After church i stopped by N's house. Her phone has been out of order. I ended up taking her son Kip to lunch with me. He is 12 and a really, really nice kid. Then i stopped by and traded kids and took her daughter Sierra home to do some projects with me. Sierra will be 9 this winter, but she is a tiny thing. We (she) painted 3 wooden stars and 3 wooden snowflakes and then used glitter glue to decorate them. Then she used some of the pens i had to draw while i hemmed something for Kip. I then took her home. She wasn't ready to go. I had maybe 10 seconds of whining, but i told her that i just get too tired to have her for very long. She'll have to come visit me for shorter visits. She took it well and didn't say any more. I think she had fun, and i did too, although i was very, very tired afterward. I also enjoyed my lunch with Kip very much. The only problem i can see in doing this is that N's youngest, Joshua, is 3. I just don't think i've got the energy to handle him much, but want to be fair with them. (He very much wanted to come visit with me, too.)
I enjoy N's family. Her kids are very nice. I'm thrilled that i can have children in my life (who want to be with me!) and with whom i can spend time. But i also struggle with the idea of not - oh, i don't know - doing something that will make me a "benefactor" and therefore "above" them somehow. I'm NOT "above" them. I was in very similar circumstances 10 years ago. I know i can't swoop in and "fix" everything. I need to be careful that i don't do something that removes the dignity from their lives and the choices they make. Does that make any sense at all?
Last week, quite by accident, i stumbled across the new blog of a former reader of mine. I know a lot of folks who show up as my followers don't actually come and read any more. But i do have a large enough list that when she took herself off, i didn't recognize who had left. And i kind of shrugged, thinking that i must not fit for someone. That happens.
But i was shocked to find at her new blog that she'd talked about not following me anymore. She essentially said my life is lame and all i did was complain about folks in my life and that my blog is filled with self-pity. I was really hurt by this (although, i felt even then it was an unfair assessment).
Time is kind, however. It doesn't hurt like that any more. To her credit, she didn't say those things at MY blog; she probably didn't think i'd find that post. On the other hand, i don't think she's a person who would be concerned if she knew i did read it. I know there are some folks who would easily shrug it off, but i'm not one of those, and it has taken some time to recover my balance. I have to accept that if i choose to allow my blog to be public, then things like this happen. Over all, compared to some of the things i know friends have experienced, i've been very fortunate. But i do have to wonder at the people who would choose to post such a thing. Doesn't fit? Fine, leave. But say unkind things about the folks who don't fit? Um, not cool.
I've found blogs that i follow for a while, and then, for whatever reason they don't "fit" me anymore. That is part of the reason i tend to be an anonymous follower, at least at first. I'm "public" on less than half the bogs i follow. If i feel i need to move on, my absence isn't much noted that way. But i have never - never will - post about the "sad (lame) life" of someone else and why i felt the need to leave.
God loves us all. And i need to love more thoroughly.
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Someone i know (who is very young) posted this on Facebook recently (the second sentence is from a comment to the original thought):
random thought, when I was a little girl prayed that I'd be able to get married and be a mother before Jesus came back...He must be coming pretty soon!!! :D
It's really close! looking like it will be in this generation! That's you and I.
The invalidity of the logic of this argument as been bugging me for days. It is like saying, "I had toast for breakfast . . . this afternoon the President decided to bomb North Korea." It is an argumentative fallacy, a non sequitur. It bothers me sometimes, that certain churches don't encourage logic in their thinking.
But, of course, part of my difficulty with this is simply envy.
Duane is away now, he left not long ago. He has a SAR training this AM and then he is off to OC for a Karate Tournament. (He never competes anymore. He is going down to assist with the running of it. I think he judges some, but mostly he is one of the folks doing the work to organize.) He'll be home tomorrow evening sometime.
I'm going to a cooking demo at The Copper Q. The store is quite expensive (and exquisite), but these cooking demos are free. They do take a donation (which they donate to local concerns), but most people put in a dollar or two. There are two today, one at 10.30 and the other at 1.30. I'm going to get there about 9.30 (take a good book) because i'm meeting 2 other women there. Want to be sure we get seats! When i went before there was only standing room.
I bought the stuff to make more cards, but haven't done so yet. I did work on a couple of Christmas ornaments yesterday. I don't know why fall is when i go into "high gear" with creating. Maybe because i might have someone to do some of these things with this year. N said her daughter would love to do creative projects.
I've so many projects in the works right now: Bibs for the coming babies, and the second blanket (i think i like this one too). I want to work on some quilting projects and a duvet cover for our bed. The art project for our wall and multiple different Christmas ornaments. Oh, and cards. :) I don't usually let myself do this because i have a tendency to start projects and not finish, so i usually try to keep myself at one or two at a time. We'll see how this goes.
Gotta get up and ready to go.
379 
(Only because my head is weird.)
Duane is off the mountain today with a SAR in Needles. I'm concerned, of course, because it is the desert and hot and all those things. He was excited to be able to go, however. It is an ATV search and he just completed that training. Technically he isn't free to go because he is suppose to do more hours with an instructor, but they cleared him to do it because the folks he is going with have so many hours themselves.
But this meant that he had to get up at 2.30 this morning, guess who wakes him? Yup. Tho even if i didn't, his leaving (unless he slept on the couch) would have woken me. I did get back to sleep about 4.30, but i've a headache because of this sleep disturbance, so i've not done much of anything today. Mac is beside me purring like mad.
We had N and her family to dinner last night. Of course, she ended up doing a lot of the cooking and clean up, but we provided the food and worked along side her. We enjoyed it very much and especially enjoyed visiting some with the kids. Her two older children are delightful. Her 3 year old is a handful. But he didn't bother me and he wasn't destructive (we do have a few things on shelves that an out-of-control kid could make a mess of). Duane made blackened salmon (fish that desperately needed to be cooked) and even tho we didn't have huge portions, i'd bought enough that we all got some. She and i made the GF pasta (this is the best ! made by Andean) and Alfredo sauce. She really liked the Alfredo (i do use more cheese than the recipe calls for) and i sent the left over home with her. We also had salad and some biscuits (not GF).
We will probably plan to do this together once or twice a month. I enjoyed it alot, tho i was absolutely exhausted at the end of the day. When i asked Duane he enjoyed it too.
Duane's parents are planning to come up this weekend. I'm a bit stressed over that. Mostly that i won't be able to keep up physically. Also we don't really know when they will arrive. It wouldn't be out of character for his dad to wake up at 6.30 and decide to leave then (which means they'd be at our house about 8.30). They actually called last Friday and wanted to come up then, but we had company and Duane had weekend plans and he tried to (nicely) suggest that the planned weekend would work better for us. I'm planning to have N come on Friday, but she may not be able to come as early as she normally does, so that could get dicey.
It is interesting that they are doing more research with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (also called Chronic Fatigue and Immune Deficiency Syndrome & also possibly related to Myalgic Encephalomyelitis). One of the things that is becoming clear is that CFS has physical differences that can be differentiated from "normal" or "depressed" populations. (Because many of us who have had this for many years have been told by medical authorities that it is "all in your head" or "you're just depressed.") Blood flow is one of the issues, tho it apparently is hard to diagnose in a PWC (person with Chronic Fatigue), because it is not the normal restriction of blood flow most commonly seen. Also a big part of CFS is "Post-Exertional Malaise" (PEM) which is the utter exhaustion (including some cognitive problems) that comes after any sort of physical activity, and in some cases also mental activity or stress. In the first of these two reports, they found physical differences in the muscles of folks with CFS. Also, i just want to mention, one of the differences between CFS and depression is that folks with CFS want to do things, they just can't. Anyway, i simply mention it here because i want to have a place where i've got these reports. You're welcome to check it out, however. If you know anyone with CFS, it might help you understand it better.
Post-Exertional Malaise: Perception and Reality
Post-Exertional Malaise: Cause and Effect
I know i've mentioned before that in August i can always feel "fall in the air." This is our 4th August living here, tho we had come up to visit other years. The past 4 days the low at night has been below 40F. Last night the low was 30. We won't have plants living too much longer. And we won't be able to sleep with the doors open much longer. I think i've said before, we don't have many windows. We have 4 sliding glass doors and 2 windows (one in a bathroom, one in the guest room) that open. Then we have 3 windows that are like skylights in the living-room which were added when the roof was replaced. Strange to have a house with almost no windows! I hate having to close the doors at night.
Yesterday we found a nice eiderdown duvet at a garage sale. It had a lot of pillow shams and 2 covers with it. One is flannel, and Duane will be very happy for a month or so this winter when we use it. I got all of that for $25, the duvet alone would cost upward of $250 new. We had been using a duvet from Ikea, but they size their duvets based on European sizing which is more square and not as wide as we like. I had one duvet already the size we like, but it is very lightweight. So i went ahead and put both (new and old) in the duvet cover and we are now at winter weight. Duane is happy with that; it is a bit too much for me, but i hope it means we can sleep with the door open for another few weeks. The Ikea duvet i will save for company. Since it is king-size (but smaller than the one we just got) it will be perfect for our double/queen guest bed.
I finished one of the baby blankets i'm working on. I need to get pics. The other is a very lacy, lightweight blanket & it may be a long time before i have that finished.
I've been needing to get the CA license for massage done and have been planning on it for a while. I meant to do it early July, but got distracted. Just looked it up and it could take up to 90 days plus whatever time it takes to do the testing. Arrg! I'm going to be stressed because i don't have that much time. I need to get on it so i can get it ASAP.
Jazz has joined Mac on the bed and they are now snuggled down into the softness of the double duvet!
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I'm running out of ways to say "This 'n That."
We forgot to take our camera with us on Sunday. (It seems like we brought everything else, including a folding picnic table & a folding hammock.) Eva took pics but i've not seen them yet. We ended up behind some trees & had we had the camera, it could have been a problem. But we were free to move about in order to see better. I kind of liked seeing the fireworks thru the silhouetted pines.
I didn't properly credit the last ones. Duane took all of these. I've gotten pretty good with the camera, but i still don't do night shots well. There are all from 2007, & 2008.
Duane went down the hill yesterday. I tried to get him to take That Jeep (y'know, to show it off to the guys at work) but he just laughed. Eva & i took it to town. We went to Farmer's Market, & i did banking & we went to a store in the Village to check on some class times (cooking/baking demonstrations). Then we had lunch at Duane's favorite burger joint. They do salads, too, & the most wonderful sweet potato fries. Eva agreed that Duane's choice of burger was good.
We checked out a couple of thrift stores on the way home, but only found a couple of small items. Not that i need anything, but i think most of the purchases were mine. A couple of the stores weren't open. I forgot that since this is a resort town, many of the stores are closed Tue/Wed, or sometimes Thur as there is not much business then & they need some time off.
We got home safe. That Jeep didn't strand us.
I made pancakes & scrambled eggs for dinner last night. Neither of those are Duane's favorites so i don't often make them.
I tried the scrambled eggs differently as i'd seen a recipe & it sounded good: Scrambled eggs with cream cheese. The recipe i saw said to "melt" the cream cheese with butter in the pan before adding the eggs. Most of the others i saw said to blend room temp cream cheese into the eggs. I tried the first one. The cream cheese didn't "melt" much, but it got quite soft. It took much longer to cook than what i'm used to. They did taste good, soft & rich & fluffy. First bite reminded me almost more of a souffle than scrambled eggs, but i got used to it after that.
Many of the days i have things planned. This is a day without too many plans. I may take her on the "back way" road - 38 - to do some picture hunting. One of the churches in town with a big youth group has a dinner on Wednesdays, followed by a Bible Study. I thought i'd take her to that as i don't know many folks in town with kids. Well, i know a couple of girls her age, but they take summer school classes to lighten their load during the year.
I'm finding it a challenge to keep up with the prep-work, cooking & kitchen clean up. I guess i was hoping for something a bit different. We probably will end up eating at least one meal "out" each day just because i can't do it. The kitchen is downstairs waiting for me to come clean it from last night. (Ok, i went & did that. Still a little left to do, but it wasn't as bad as what was in my head.)
For the past week or so i've been in more pain. It hasn't been that i've "cheated" on diet, for pain is a wonderful motivator for me. I've found that taking cherry juice once, or maybe twice a day helps. Too much of it acts like prune juice & i want to avoid that! (Studies have found cherry juice as effective an anti-inflammatory as Motrin.) To my surprise, it has helped. My legs ache, ache, ache. I don't think it is just sedentary lifestyle, for i'm not bed bound. Yesterday at Farmer's Market i bought Emu oil. I've heard good things about it. Capsaicin cream works for me, too, however. I'm not so sure about the Emu oil as a vegetarian. (Just looked it up. NOT vegetarian.)
The past week or so has been a struggle. Also, while my sis was here, i was "up" much more than i normally am. I wasn't doing the "Up 20 down 40" or whatever variation of that is appropriate. So i was pretty exhausted when she left, besides having a huge mess in the kitchen waiting for me.
I'm finding that Eva is not as apt to get carsick as Larkin had told me to expect. Nor is she as allergic to cats. She doesn't seem to be much bothered by the cats at all, except i notice she is careful not to pet them & prefers them not to bother her. She is very much an introvert & a bit shy. But she can talk, & if i press the right "button" she will be quite verbal. She also has quite a sly sense of humor i enjoy. We're still kind of getting to know each other.
I'm thinking i'll show her my "master list" of food plans & activity & ask her to be honest with me & tell me what she'd like to do & what she'd rather not.
Just an aside, as i'm being ADD while writing this & off to check all kinds of other things. One of the blogs where i occasionally comment uses real words that have a black/white dichotomy (& are hard to read) instead of made up words/letters. Yesterday my words were, "Reality Spleen." ??? That kind of croggled my mind for a while.
Ok, i'm simply getting bored with myself & my writing. Here are the rest of Duane's beautiful pics that i've had waiting to add.
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I've been rather discouraged this week. Tired. Not felt like "fighting."
As is a common thing for me when i feel this way, i've not been eating very well. Usually when we're in OC, i eat really good stuff: Organic meals at Mother's (health food store); salads; organic, vegetarian, gluten-free pizza. Usually.
This week i ate junk. And i felt like junk. I was overly emotional & cranky. By Thursday when we were to drive home i was utterly exhausted. Thursdays i'm usually very tired, but this was beyond that.
I doubt i've ever felt quite as much connection to what i'm eating & how i'm feeling. It was good, actually, because i often feel that what i'm doing makes no difference. I often feel too, that i couldn't be "worse" in functioning. This made it clear that what i'm doing DOES make a difference, & that my functioning, poor as it is, could be worse.
So, was i tired, cranky, & unable to "deal" because i was eating poorly, or did i eat poorly because i was tired, cranky, & unable to "deal"?
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I was suppose to do massage as fund raising at our church's rummage sale this weekend. I did it last year.
We went early Friday AM to drop off our donations of extraneous clothes, appliances, etc. I told them i'd be back around 10 to do the massage. I rushed home, walked Rebecca through what i needed her to do, packed up all the supplies i would need, made a sign, loaded it all in the car, & went to the church. Rebecca was worried about me, for she could see how tired i was already at 9.30 AM. I didn't worry too much, tho i was very tired, because i knew doing massage would make me feel a bit better.
I arrived at the church & the lady in charge said, "Stop! Don't unload!" She told me that the pastor had checked their insurance & it wouldn't cover me working & so i couldn't do it. (They didn't do this last year?)
Ok, fine, except i have my own insurance that covers that. They are far more likely to be sued for someone tripping on the cracks in the pavement than for the things i do (the incidence of a massage therapist getting sued is something like 1 in 200,000). If i had been called to discuss this, we could have worked it out. Even if they didn't want me to do it, did they have to wait until i was there ready to work to be told not to do it?
In short, i was pretty angry. I tend to get very cold & silent when i'm angry. I have a hard time having an appropriate response at the appropriate time. The pastor was there & spoke with me briefly a couple of times, but said not one word to me on this.
I do have compassion for the lady running this. She is elderly, & has been in charge of this for many years now. She doesn't want to be, but there has been no one to step into this place. She gets stressed & i'm sure it would be easy to overlook something like this. But frankly, i feel disrespected.
I've written extensively about this church thing at my other blog, if you are interested in that. (I'm still writing that post, but it should be up soon.)
We had several people ask where the "masseuse" was & if she would be here this year. We explained that i wouldn't be allowed to do it do to insurance issues. People understood that, but were disappointed. We did talk of me doing it just for the church folks in the office, but i said the pastor would have to be asked. I didn't say but my intent was "If YOU want it, then YOU ask. I've no intention of discussing this with him."
Boy, i sound cranky today! But something good came out of this!
There is a program called "The Seven Summits of Big Bear." There is a young man, resident of Big Bear, who has just completed climbing the seven highest peaks in the world (Everest). A couple of years ago someone came up with the idea of climbing seven of the summits around Big Bear. I think last year was the first year they did this.
Today is the first of the 7 Summits.
Duane felt committed to helping with this rummage sale. We have helped for the past 3 years. Frankly, the men don't do much but sit around & talk, unless someone needs something loaded on a truck. Duane is not like that. He walks around & talks to folks & is friendly. He helps wherever needed without being asked (or searched for!)
I'd encouraged him to do the 7 Summits anyway, but he was going to do the rummage sale. Except after yesterday he lost any enthusiasm for it. So he left early this AM to do the Bertha Peak. I'm glad he is going to do this. He will probably return around noon, or even earlier, if he still wants to go to the church sale.
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