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28 September 2010

Promised Pics

These are most of the bibs i made.  I gave a couple away before i got pics.  The first two are unfinished in the pic.  I got them done later.  They are very convenient because they just pop over the baby's head.  

These pics of the blanket show the true colors much better.  The lavender edging really doesn't match anything in the blanket, but it needed an edging and the mama doesn't care for pink.  (She's going to get a couple of bibs with pink, anyway.)  She's home now with the baby, and i might get to see them.  The daughter was born a month early (due to complications for the mama which might have jeopardized them both) and weighed less than 5 pounds, tho she is healthy.  I don't know the mama very well, i'm more her mama's friend.  So i may just give the basket of things to my friend to take to the new mama.  

I couldn't get the pics i took of my garden today to load.  Our garden looks pretty sad.  We got a few tomatoes (and now those are among the things i can't eat).  But my parsley looks wonderful!  I'm quite proud of it - tho i had nothing to do with it looking so good.  It simply did well. 

I'll write of the visit with the new doc at another time.  It wasn't bad, i suppose i have some hope . . . but i'm hungry and i think i'm simply going to have to get used to being hungry nearly all the time.  So i'm rather grumpy, too.  And very, very tired. 

Sara's Blog

I'm adding the "You create" button to this post, because i'm joining Sara with this link up of folk's creations.  Sara is someone often called "inspirational" by many other folks, & if you want to experience faith in action, please go read her blog.  She continually amazes me at her faith in trials.  God certainly does work thru her. 


Down the hill

Yesterday Los Angeles had the highest temperature ever recorded (since they began keeping track, sometime in the 1880s) at 113F.  Several other cities have hit record highs, too.  It has even been "hot" in Big Bear.  We were having typical September weather for here:  Highs in the 60s and 70s, lows in the 30s and 20s (we had 3 days of lows between 24 and 26).  But we are having a heatwave with a couple of days at 82 (the high for all of this very cool summer was 84; since we've lived here BB has never had a day above 91, and that was a one day thing), the lows only in the low 40s.

Today we have to go down into that heat.  It is expected to "cool" by a couple of degrees from yesterday, but remain hot for several days.  Sigh.  I'd stay home if i could, but i can't.

Thank y'all for the kind remarks on the baby issue.  I didn't mean for the post to regress to that, but it did.  I'm really struggling to come to peace on this; to have someone pop up (casually) and offer to surrogate for us puts me in a tailspin because i am not at peace.  It is a roller coaster.  Thank you for not slamming me about it.   

Yesterday i took pics of the baby bibs i made (most of them).  If i've time later today i'll post them.  Also got some more pics of the blanket i made because the pics i did before didn't show the colors all that well.  Don't know if what i did yesterday will be any better, however.  I plan to drop off those things this week.  

We have to leave this AM a little earlier than we normally do (we are pretty casual about when we leave on Tuesday, except the occasion when we have to be somewhere at a certain time).  We are both going to see new doc.  My appointment is at 11.30.  So, we will soon know what his recommendations are based on the mess from the tests.  I know how to "read" those tests, in general, but i don't know how to see patterns and/or how to put together a treatment from the jumbled mess i've seen.


26 September 2010

Riff raff

(Can i use that as a form of "this 'n that"?)

Do you remember this pic?  I posted it a while ago.   It is from a Christmas party at our old church in early December, 2007.  This little miss was about 2 weeks old and barely 6 pounds.  (The baby dust i was hoping for didn't rub off on us.)

Today at "the other" Lutheran church, we ran into these folks.  This young lady is almost 3 now, and a curly-haired doll.  And very active.  She has a sister who is about 3 months old.  The parents are children of one of our neighbors.  The parents (our neighbors) used to go to our old church.  They went thru some family issues and didn't attend for a long time.  They were very hurt because the church never reached out to them at all.

We had someone we know indicate at least some interest as acting as a surrogate for us.  I almost wish she had not.  There are so many ups and downs revolving around the issue.  If i were not disabled.  If, if, if.  We have already decided that should someone tell us they were interested in placing their baby (already conceived, planned to put up for adoption) with us, or knew someone who did, we would pursue it.  Otherwise, we won't.  Of course, either is a lot of money.  We feel that having someone approach us would be the leading of God.  Choosing a surrogate seems to be just pushing our own desire apart from God.  When Abraham did the same thing, the result was centuries of racial tensions.  Not that we feel that we are in the same class as Abraham.  But we do feel that bad things (financial, emotional, physical/medical for me, etc.) could happen. 

I had rather a sleepless night over this, thinking, "Is this an opportunity or just a temptation?"  We haven't made a definitive decision yet (and don't know if the offer was even serious), but at this point we are leaning away from it.  I WANT TO BE A MAMA!  With all my heart i do.  But i also know that sometimes desire/love is not enough.  It often is not enough for a teen mama who thinks her love will make it all perfect and right.  It would not be enough for us.  Financially it would be a stretch, but we would probably also have to hire daily household help in order to manage, which we honestly can't afford.  

I need to be honest about the disability.  I am very, very limited.  I did quite a lot yesterday & today, & had to take a nap.  When i woke it felt as if every ounce of energy or life force had been drained from me.  Almost all the child care would fall to Duane, and already almost all of our income falls to him, too.  

Much as it breaks my heart, i think i do need to accept this - which i'm finding almost impossible.  I need to accept that i can be minimally involved in some children's lives and perhaps make an impact there.  If i really pushed thru to have children, the impact i would most likely have would be negative.  What mother wants that?

I know of 2 bloggers online who adopted babies and then, when the baby was born and  placed with them, they were 3 months pregnant.  I know that mostly this is an urban legend and doesn't happen to 95% or more of the couples.  But i can't help but say, it does feel so unfair.  There are so few babies to be adopted, and these folks had their own children 6 months after the baby was placed with them.  Ah, yeah, life.  My friend's granddaughter was born yesterday.  I'm happy for them.  But wistful for us. 

If you are interested (tho i can't imagine you would be), i've posted the foods to which i'm reactive  & the things i can eat, & the suggested diet plan (rotation) over at My Blog of Lists.  I did another list that i printed out that removed the foods i know i won't eat (meat/poultry, canola oil, soybean, gluten items).  At this point, even tho their suggested diet looks adequate, i kind of think that i'm just going to be hungry most of the time.  Sigh.  If i get hungry enough, maybe i'll learn to cook in a manner that will feed me.  But i've a strong suspicion that what is going to happen is this:  Day One - avocados.  Day Two - whole grain rice.  Day Three - sweet potatoes.  Day Four - kidney and green beans.  Sigh.  

Of course, i'm making these plans having just seen the list but not having yet talked to the doctor.  I got a notice in the mail.  It states that i'm also "high" on cadmium & arsenic.  We've been racking our brains trying to imagine how i've been exposed to those (short of Duane trying to poison me).  Likely our decks are pressure-treated wood, but i'm hardly ever out there & rarely touch the wood.  The other options are the non-organic salad bar, or the supplements i'm taking.  It will be interesting to hear the doc's ideas. 


25 September 2010

More like other people?

Duane is off the hill again this weekend, doing a fun day with his SAR pals.  It is not an official SAR event.  Next weekend we'll go to OC on Sunday to celebrate his (step) grandma's 91st birthday.  The following weekend he has a 3 day SAR event/training.  He meant to go to this one last year, and had been very much looking forward to it, but he got the weekend wrong.  Last year he had just joined SAR.  Not knowing many folks, no one called him to say, "Where are you?"  This year if he had the weekend wrong, tho we are sure he doesn't, someone would call to say, "Where the #@$ are you?" 

I know this is mostly Duane being busy, but it does feel like we are a bit more like "normal people."  

I was pretty exhausted when we got ready to go down on Tuesday, however.  Monday i took N's youngest, Joshua, for an hour.  We just went to the park and he played.  I don't feel it was stressful.  Still, just being up tends to wear me out.  N is coming today.  The house is quite a mess, and i'm looking forward to having it look better without wearing me out too much.  

Yesterday i spent a lot of time reading about Laura Hillenbrand and Sophia Wilson.  Both of these young women have ME/CFS/CFIDS.  Or had, in Sophia's case.  She died of complications in 2005.  Both have/had extreme cases of the disease.  I do not have such extremity.  I've only had one day when i really could not get out of bed.  Reading about them helps me a lot with gratitude, but it can be a bit sobering as these cases both detail that often ME/CFS/CFIDS folks don't get better, or if they do it is with much work.  Many folks with this are upset the gov't doesn't do more to address it.  The Awful Disease Washington Forgot.  And of course, many of us have spent years having doctors tell us that we've made it up, we're "just depressed," that it is a psychological illness.  Often, we are depressed.  But that usually arrives long after we've been told for years and years and years that we don't really have any physical illness, we are simply "looking for attention." Twenty-five Random Facts about CFIDS

I got the results from my tests last week, tho i don't see the doc again until Tuesday.  I'm a bit discouraged over what i can or can't eat.  Some of the items, i'm like, "Okay!  I don't have to force myself to eat that 'healthy' food anymore!"  (Cauliflower, lettuce, peppers.)  But others i'm thinking, "So what will i eat for protein?"  (Pinto and navy beans, lentils, eggs, tomatoes.)  

We were at Sam's Club on Thursday PM.  (Needed new tires for the Honda.)  We don't shop there much and i'm not a big fan of Walmart.  But we had time to kill and were perusing the store.  Except it is much too big for me to cover.  They have motorized carts there.  So i used one of those.  I have to say, i feel very embarrassed and visible using the cart.  I LOOK fine.  But at the end of the time i felt a sense of freedom, too, because i hadn't expended my energy just walking around and killing time.  (We didn't buy anything but the tires.)  I was already fairly exhausted before we got there, and i wouldn't have had anything left had i tried to do anything at the store.  As it was, i didn't do any of the driving on the way home.    

With N coming to clean today, i'm hoping to have the energy to organize the crafts i've got planned, and actually do some work.  I need to get a bunch of the baby bibs made.  Here are pics of the ones i made before.  They are fingertip towels (not hand towels, which are too big), with a hole cut for the head, and ribbing or knit (i had trouble finding good ribbing this time) to create a neck hole where you simply pop the bib over the baby's head.  Fingertip towels can be expensive.  Several of the ones i have currently were not cheap.  But usually i can buy them inexpensively at Kmart after the holidays.  It seems they tend to get in a lot of them for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  After the holidays i can often buy them for 50 cents or a dollar.  I cut the hole where the decoration (often a Christmas tree or Santa Claus) was placed, and then decorate the bib with lace and ribbon or an iron on patch.  

I'm more than 80% finished on my niece's yellow baby blanket.  I'm going to send the blanket and bibs and possibly some other items to her soon.  Her baby is due in early November.  The other blanket (in the middle of this post) is done.  I want to send some bibs, too.  This blanket is for the daughter of a friend of mine.  She isn't due until the end of October, but she has preeclampsia, and my friends noted on FB last night that she was being induced.  So these things won't arrive until after the baby comes.  Both of these are expecting girls.  I need to do some boy bibs, too, for some other friends who had boys earlier.  

Need to get up and started!  If i have good pics later i'll post them. 


20 September 2010

Busy, busy

 Murphy's Law abounds.  Sigh.  Yesterday i got to the Copper Q (recipes here) more than an hour before the cooking demo was due to start.  I bought a gluten-free (made in store) granola bar and some hot tea.  I brought knitting and staked out 3 chairs for myself and the two ladies coming to meet me.  I've been told that there are often as many as 35 people there (with 12 places to sit) and folks come an hour in advance.  I didn't want to stand this time and one of the ladies coming is elderly, she wouldn't want to stand, either. 

We had a total of six of us.  Yup, i arrived an hour early to stake out a chair no one wanted!  It wasn't bad, and i got 7 rows done on the blanket (which is looking lovely and is so very soft!)

Carla, the person who does these demos, did Cream of Mushroom Soup.  With a roux, which is made with flour (Roux happens to be my middle name).  So, i was prepared not to be able to taste it.  But she took some of the soup out before adding the roux, and made a small amount with cornstarch so i could try it.  (She was curious, too, to know how it would taste compared to the one made with flour.)  I "cheated" on being vegetarian/pescatarian because she made it with a "chicken base" - but after she went to the trouble to make this just for me, i didn't want to refuse it.  It was simply wonderful.  When i make it in the future, however, i'll make it with a vegetable broth/base.  She said the flavor isn't much different with cornstarch over flour and the difference might be that she didn't add butter to what she made for me.  

Anyway, i much appreciated the substitution and being able to taste the soup.  I recommend making it yourself!

Which is another issue on which i've been thinking for a while.

I eat gluten free.   There are a lot of GF sites and  blogs nowdays.  I appreciate them very much.  But much is being done to try to "recreate" the current diet of most Americans (SAD = Standard American Diet, which frankly IS sad).  There are lots of recipes which are for breads, pancakes, waffles, etc.  The problem, as i see it, however, is that grains just aren't that healthy for us.  I know the current (and many past) "food pyramids" have grains - pastas, breads, etc. - as the primary source of calories.  Many folks seem to think that substituting "whole wheat" for a more processed flour makes things healthier.

But in all of my research, and it is extensive at this point, everything points toward eating grain but especially wheat products - even whole wheat - as a very poor choice for health.  

Look at the history.  Processed foods began to be introduced in the early 1900s.  By 1950 there was much focus on "convenience foods" which made the life of the housewife easier.  By the 70s these were pretty much staples in everyone's kitchens.  In the 70s and 80s, however, much was said against cholesterol containing butter, whole milk, and other healthy fats.  Grain products began to be pushed as a mainstay of our diets.  (We were encouraged to stay out of the sun, too.  The #1 health problem in the country now?  Vitamin D deficiency.)

What has happened in the intervening 30+ years?  Heart attacks, cancer, diabetes, and obesity are rampant and increasing in a manner that has many concerned.  Many people are on daily medication for chronic health issues.  As a nation, following these guidelines, we have become very unhealthy.  Yet, little has been said about this.  It seems to be part of our collective consciousness that soy = good (not true), grains = good, whole-fat milk, butter, etc = bad.  I don't believe these lies and yet i still struggle with the idea that the Alfredo sauce we make with organic cheese, milk, and butter is "naughty."  

So, i really struggle with making (or buying) GF cookies, pasta, bread, etc. because i have come to believe that grains should be a very small part of our diet.  I don't deny them altogether, but i believe they should take the part of the "pyramid" currently assigned to fats.  

I also believe the vegetable oils - long promoted as "healthy eating" - are NOT healthy.  I believe that there is no room in our diets for soy, corn, canola, or the other oils that are promoted.  If nothing else, these are highly processed not natural.  They also come from products that are largely genetically modified.  (According to Wikipedia, 93% of the soybeans in the US are GM, 86% of field corn, 93% of cotton, and 93% of canola.)  This is a problem much larger than i can begin to touch here, but none of these products are safe.  

Ok, enough of my rant.  I just am struggling with the idea of not replacing the foods i used to eat with a GF product (except on occasion), but largely foregoing grains.  If you want to know the sources for my coming to think this way, email me and i'll provide the info.  Part of my problem, however, not being much of a cook and certainly not a creative one, and also being very much a product of our culture, i struggle with knowing WHAT to eat if i take out sandwiches, rolls/bread, and pasta.  Also, frankly, my digestive system seems to work better with some grains.  Veggies alone seem to cause issues.  

I ran some errands in town after the cooking demo.  Then i came home and rested.  In the evening i watched TV and made more cards.  Also envelopes to go with them (matching the paper i use on the card).  The cards i bought (at 8 for $1) are very nice, but the envelopes that came with them are not so good.  I had a mess in the living room as i brought down all the projects on which i'm working.  I have:  bibs for the coming babies, the blanket for my niece (Ellen's) child, Christmas crafts, and the cards.  Also the sewing machine is set up on the table.  And all my scissors, and office supplies, pens of all sorts, and other useful gadgets.  A right mess.

I went to the Methodist church today.  Enjoyed it.  (It does feel weird to attend a church without Duane.)  

After church i stopped by N's house.  Her phone has been out of order.  I ended up taking her son Kip to lunch with me.  He is 12 and a really, really nice kid.  Then i stopped by and traded kids and took her daughter Sierra home to do some projects with me.  Sierra will be 9 this winter, but she is a tiny thing.  We (she) painted 3 wooden stars and 3 wooden snowflakes and then used glitter glue to decorate them.  Then she used some of the pens i had to draw while i hemmed something for Kip.  I then took her home.  She wasn't ready to go.  I had maybe 10 seconds of whining, but i told her that i just get too tired to have her for very long.  She'll have to come visit me for shorter visits.  She took it well and didn't say any more.  I think she had fun, and i did too, although i was very, very tired afterward.   I also enjoyed my lunch with Kip very much.    The only problem i can see in doing this is that N's youngest, Joshua, is 3.  I just don't think i've got the energy to handle him much, but want to be fair with them.  (He very much wanted to come visit with me, too.)

I enjoy N's family.  Her kids are very nice.  I'm thrilled that i can have children in my life (who want to be with me!) and with whom i can spend time.  But i also struggle with the idea of not - oh, i don't know - doing something that will make me a "benefactor" and therefore "above" them somehow.  I'm NOT "above" them.  I was in very similar circumstances 10 years ago.  I know i can't swoop in and "fix" everything.  I need to be careful that i don't do something that removes the dignity from their lives and the choices they make.  Does that make any sense at all?

Last week, quite by accident, i stumbled across the new blog of a former reader of mine.  I know a lot of folks who show up as my followers don't actually come and read any more.  But i do have a large enough list that when she took herself off, i didn't recognize who had left.  And i kind of shrugged, thinking that i must not fit for someone.  That happens.

But i was shocked to find at her new blog that she'd talked about not following me anymore.  She essentially said my life is lame and all i did was complain about folks in my life and that my blog is filled with self-pity.  I was really hurt by this (although, i felt even then it was an unfair assessment).  

Time is kind, however.  It doesn't hurt like that any more.  To her credit, she didn't say those things at MY blog; she probably didn't think i'd find that post.  On the other hand, i don't think she's a person who would be concerned if she knew i did read it.  I know there are some folks who would easily shrug it off, but i'm not one of those, and it has taken some time to recover my balance.  I have to accept that if i choose to allow my blog to be public, then things like this happen.  Over all, compared to some of the things i know friends have experienced, i've been very fortunate.  But i do have to wonder at the people who would choose to post such a thing.  Doesn't fit?  Fine, leave.  But say unkind things about the folks who don't fit?  Um, not cool.

I've found blogs that i follow for a while, and then, for whatever reason they don't "fit" me anymore.  That is part of the reason i tend to be an anonymous follower, at least at first.  I'm "public" on less than half the bogs i follow.  If i feel i need to move on, my absence isn't much noted that way.  But i have never - never will - post about the "sad (lame) life" of someone else and why i felt the need to leave.  

God loves us all.  And i need to love more thoroughly.  


18 September 2010

Random thoughts

Someone i know (who is very young) posted this on Facebook recently (the second sentence is from a comment to the original thought):


random thought, when I was a little girl prayed that I'd be able to get married and be a mother before Jesus came back...He must be coming pretty soon!!! :D


It's really close! looking like it will be in this generation! That's you and I.

The invalidity of the logic of this argument as been bugging me for days.  It is like saying, "I had toast for breakfast . . . this afternoon the President decided to bomb North Korea."   It is an argumentative fallacy, a non sequitur.  It bothers me sometimes, that certain churches don't encourage logic in their thinking. 

But, of course, part of my difficulty with this is simply envy.  

Duane is away now, he left not long ago.  He has a SAR training this AM and then he is off to OC for a Karate Tournament.  (He never competes anymore.  He is going down to assist with the running of it.  I think he judges some, but mostly he is one of the folks doing the work to organize.)  He'll be home tomorrow evening sometime. 

I'm going to a cooking demo at The Copper Q.  The store is quite expensive (and exquisite), but these cooking demos are free.  They do take a donation (which they donate to local concerns), but most people put in a dollar or two.  There are two today, one at 10.30 and the other at 1.30.  I'm going to get there about 9.30 (take a good book) because i'm meeting 2 other women there.  Want to be sure we get seats!  When i went before there was only standing room.  

I bought the stuff to make more cards, but haven't done so yet.  I did work on a couple of Christmas ornaments yesterday.  I don't know why fall is when i go into "high gear" with creating.  Maybe because i might have someone to do some of these things with this year.  N said her daughter would love to do creative projects.  

I've so many projects in the works right now:  Bibs for the coming babies, and the second blanket (i think i like this one too).  I want to work on some quilting projects and a duvet cover for our bed.  The art project for our wall and multiple different Christmas ornaments.  Oh, and cards.  :)  I don't usually let myself do this because i have a tendency to start projects and not finish, so i usually try to keep myself at one or two at a time.  We'll see how this goes.  

Gotta get up and ready to go. 


15 September 2010


I've not made cards in so long!  I used to be friends with someone long ago.  She would have "card making" parties at her house.  We would stamp & emboss/thermo & works ourselves ragged but have fun doing it too.  (Some of her friends would do scrapbook pages rather than cards.)  We would pool our stamps & have lots more options than when we worked alone.  

Unfortunately, that friend disappeared from my life.  I have never known why.  Because she had more room at her house, i'd stored most of my stamps there, & my other supplies.  When she disappeared, i didn't care all that much.  I wasn't going to do it alone.  What i had left i sent to my mom.  

Making cards is so much easier now!  I doubt if it is much more expensive.  Many of the things we used to spend so much time on:  Embossing, glitter, cutting out detailed tiny bits of paper, etc, are now done for us & all ready to stick on a card.   Yesterday i bought a packet of cards for $1 at Michaels.  I spent much more than that on the stickers.  I've some notes i need to write, & i wanted something different than run of the mill cards.  Here is what i did:

The gold foil embossing in the card was there already.  I thought i was buying blank ones, but i was wrong!  The others i made i covered this up, but for this one i left it alone.  

Now, i know these aren't particularly extra special, but i sure had fun doing it.  Now i need to write the letters!


Oh, calligraphy has been one of my special joys.  I had fun addressing these letters.  Of course, you don't really get the full effect for privacy sake, but they turned out ok.  

It is quite a debate these days of which is more expensive:  Store bought (nice) cards which can run $5 each, or ones you make yourself with expensive materials.  Of course, usually you can find some fairly nice ones without spending too much.  I found some embossed with a "D" (our last name, i couldn't find "K"), 8 for $1.  

What do you like to do for creative sake?


12 September 2010

Multiple different pics

 Mac, making himself comfortable on our unmade bed.

I wrote of our time at the Art Festival & how tired i was.  When i laid down, this was my view.  

 Multi-million dollar houses on the hill across the street from the Festival of the Arts.

Duane sent this to me from his helitac training yesterday.  (He is not in this pic.)  He enjoyed it a lot & thought it was a fun day.  I thought it was a 4 hour training, but it turned out to be 8+ hours.

We bought this mat for the front door today.  We think it a fun thing, although i know from sad experience that it won't stay looking this bright & pretty for very long.

The art project i'm doing, in progress.  It is the "Around the World" quilting pattern but made with scrapbooking paper.  I'll put an image on it when this part is done.  I'm being very slow because it needs to fit well.  This has a lot of mistakes in it & is very imprecise.  I'm finding this is much more of an energy drain for me than simply knitting. 

The baby blanket i just finished.  The colors aren't quite true in this pic.  The lavender around the edges doesn't really match the colors inside, but it was the best i can do.  This is the first baby blanket i've made in a while that i actually like.  It is going to the daughter of a friend of mine.  Her baby girl is due the end of October.  I'm pleased with this blanket, although i don't think the border was the best choice.  

Mac & Jazz.  (They had wanted to sit on the baby blanket as i took a pic of it.  I didn't let them.)

This is where i spend most of my time.  Today we bought the wire thingy (used 2 of the shelves for something else) & i tried to straighten up my side of the bed.  It is usually a mess.  I don't really like this look much, but it is neater than it was.

Much of this was the mess where the wire thingy is now.  I need to put this junk away!

This is where we store the sheets & the basket on top is for dirty clothes.  I had 2 stacking plastic bins here with the summer or winter sheets inside (& the ones being used on top).  But i found that they absorbed a plastic smell while stored & had to be washed a couple of times, which seemed a waste to me.  After debating our options, we decided to put the sheets on shelves instead.  

Yes, the door to our bedroom has windows in it!  But it is just the two of us, & when we do have company, our bed can't be seen from outside the door.

Since i spend so much time in bed, & blog from bed, too, this is the view from there.  This is fairly late afternoon, with the sun coming in.  

We had a couple of really cool days here.  The lows were 24F & 26.  I think we broke a record on Thursday for the "lowest high" on record.  I think the high that day was 61F.  But it has warmed back up & the past couple of days have been in the 70s.  A few of our trees are beginning to have yellowed leaves.  Fall is soon to be here.  We'll have winter sheets back on the bed soon.  (Duane will be happy.)

Duane just rushed out the door a few minutes ago.  SAR had a call-out.  A hiker with a broken ankle needs to be brought in.  If he actually goes (sometimes he gets to the station & is told that the team isn't needed), he will probably be gone for several hours.  The call-out is in a valley at least 40 minutes from here.  He does love to be part of the team.  

Thank you for all the well-wishes for our anniversary.  We had a lovely day. 


10 September 2010


Today is our 6th anniversary!   

These are two of my favorite pics from our wedding, tho i've posted these pics before.  I wrote of our wedding last year.  I went back & tried to edit the pics in this new format to make them larger, but it won't cooperate.  So, thus it is.  

Here are the links:    Our Wedding/Our Anniversary     Saturday!      The Story of my Dress           

Then pics from our honeymoon:  Honeymoon 1     Honeymoon 2    All of the pics from our honeymoon were taken by Duane.  I wrote lots & lots (much about baby struggle) too, but i'm linking so you can see the pics.  

We are going to our favorite "nicer" restaurant tonight, The Peppercorn.  (I'm usually not too bad at spelling, over all, but i can never spell "restaurant" correctly & have to use spell check every single time!)  No other real plans.  Duane is going for a SAR training tomorrow.  

Edit, a few more links:  Duane    My dress   The church  Our priest  


Crash & burn

When i listed all the things i want to do this week, i was pretending i'm "normal."  Sigh.

I did go to the knitting group yesterday, but not the cooking demo.  Went to the bank, and then had lunch.  (Sizzler salad bar the best - the only - one in town.  Good choices, tho not organic, and the mixed salads have allergy info tho i rarely eat what they've mixed, anyway.  I think if you have a good choice of stuff for a salad, dressing isn't needed.  I never miss it, tho i'm sure their salad dressings are full of stuff i want to avoid, so i wouldn't want them anyway.)  Reading a book while taking my time over a salad is one of my joys in life.  :)

Got pizza for Duane on my way home.  Spent almost all the rest of the day in bed.  I felt like i'd been run over by a Mack truck.  I didn't think i was over doing things, but i was wrong.  

I am almost done with the baby blanket, however.  The art project is also coming along, but i'm realizing that it wasn't a good choice for me, energy-wise.  Too much work with it, while knitting can be done while i relax.  

Ah, well.  I'm spending most of the AM resting, too, for later today.  N is going to come and help some tomorrow, too.  


08 September 2010

This week

Well, Elsa arrived Saturday before noon.  We had a lovely weekend.  We went to town for lunch.  We stopped in the Village because i wanted to go to the scrapbook store for some paper.  She & i worked in her room (cat-free) for most of the afternoon.  She's making a baby quilt for Ellen (wish i'd taken a pic of it) & i was using the paper for an art project.  We later got some tamales from a restaurant we like & brought them home.  Watched TV in the evening.   

Sunday we went to the ELCA church.  Then to our "after Church" routine of eating at Mountain Munchies.  We spent some of the afternoon garage sale-ing.  Came home & rested.  Duane & i made dinner.  We had pasta (quinoa) & Alfredo sauce, with mushrooms & broccoli.  Duane & Elsa also had biscuits & blackened chicken.  (I still need to clean the kitchen.  Today's goal.)  Watched more TV.

Oh, i also learned that Elsa does read my blog (i didn't know that) so i need to watch what i say!

She left Monday about 9 AM & i went to the knitting group.  Also did a little shopping in town.   Rested on Monday PM & did some on the art project.

Yesterday we went to the Farmer's Market.  Also picked up some items at the hardware store.  Ran a hose to water our plants more efficiently.  I spent much of the afternoon resting as i was bone tired.  Evening we watched TV & i worked on the art project.

(My computer quit on me today; i'm finishing this with Duane's.  No telling how long mine will be out of commission.)

Today we went to the movies at noon.  Then stopped for lunch.  Also a couple of other errands.  I'm still working on the art project, & am working at finishing the one baby blanket.  Hopefully by this weekend i'll have pics of both to post.  

Tomorrow i've got another knitting group.  Also i might go to the cooking demo at noon.  Depends on if i can find someone to join me.  :)  I've so many projects i want to work on this week.  Colder weather is suppose to be moving in tonight & tomorrow.  The high tomorrow is suppose to only be in the 50s, the low tonight &/or tomorrow night in the 20s.  (I started this in the morning, but because of the computer problem, i'm finishing now at nearly 11 PM.  According to the service we check, it is 49F out right now.)

Friday is our anniversary.  Not sure what we'll do during the day, but in the evening (well, 5.30) we have reservations for a fairly nice place in town, The Peppercorn.  

Saturday Duane is going down the hill to do helicopter training for SAR.  He is excited.  

Those are the plans thus far.  Not sure about Sat/Sun/Mon.  

The visit with the new doc went quite well.  I felt none of the red flags go up that i experienced with other docs recently.  He very much "gets it" for the fatigue & other issues.  I think he is reasonably familiar with the condition.  There are some areas of which he may not be as aware as i'd hope, but all indications are that he is willing & interested in learning.  I had a ton of blood drawn, & an appointment to see him again at the end of the month to go over those results.  We did have to pay out of pocket for some of the tests as my insurance (which i rarely use) wouldn't pay for them, but Duane & i decided that it would be best to have them run.  We feel that not to run tests he requests would be to tie his hands in trying to help me.

One of the tests is for food sensitivities.  I'll be honest, i'm a bit concerned about that one.  Frankly, it feels like my diet is already so very limited.  If i have to give up eggs, cheese, dairy in general, or nightshades, it will feel like i've not much left.  However, i do need to keep in mind that if it would help my functioning, then it would be worth it.  Also, that a week or two will not be enough time to evaluate.  I have the bad habit of not seeing a change after a short time, giving up.  I'm trying to keep in mind about what Dr. Cheney said about it taking at least a year.  Sigh.  :)  Rome wasn't built in a day, neither is good health after years of garbage.  (Not recent, but certainly in my 20s & 30s.)

When i was in town yesterday, i saw 2 different families at K-Mart.  Each had a child about the age our Kaylee would be.  They also had a younger one & the mama was pregnant as well.  I still find it hard.  I think i always will find it hard.  It doesn't seem to be getting any easier.  Yeah, i know, life is unfair.  

Then it hit me, with our anniversary coming up, we got pregnant with Kaylee right before our first anniversary.  It has been 5 years.  We lost her in October.  Five years!  It is hard for me to believe.  Have had 2 other very early losses.  I guess i always thought that if i was just patient, if we just "waited on the Lord" it would happen for us.  It is quite clear now that it never will. 

I'm late, quite late this month.  But i think that this is the start of what used to be called "the change of life."  When i've been pregnant before, i had very clear symptoms, particularly that my sense of smell was incredibly acute, almost super-human it seemed to me.  Nope, nada.  Of course, with my current functioning, i don't know how i'd even manage to carry a baby, much less take care of him.  We'd have to hire nearly full-time help, & we haven't the money for that.    

Hopefully in the next couple of days (my computer will be fixed!) i will have pics to post of all the projects i'm working on.

To finish with something funny, check out this blog:  The Lutheran Chik  Very, very funny banner she posted.  You'd think a church would have a better idea!  :p


03 September 2010


So much has happened this week.  It has been very busy.

Tuesday we went down the hill as usual.  But i didn't go into the office that day.  I saw a new doctor (post of itself, but a good thing, i think).  

Then we went to Pageant of the Masters (& Festival of Arts).  This link is to the history of the event.   And here is the gallery of them preparing.  My FIL bought tickets for the four of us to go.  Pictures are often drawn from real life into 2 dimensional representations.  This event takes real people & puts them into life-size reproductions of a picture, with lighting & make-up they make it real people part of the presentation.  We went the last day of the festival.  I think it ran about 6 weeks. 

Both Tom & Jeanet had been before, but Duane & i never had been.  I didn't have the energy to peruse all the art exhibits.  Honestly, if we do something like this again i will need a wheel chair.  Most folks won't understand that because i can walk, but i don't have the energy to continue walking.  

I'm glad we brought the binoculars.  We had good seats but still were far enough away that seeing the details would have been a challenge without them.  I'm also glad that a friend warned me to dress warmly & bring a blanket.  My FIL didn't think we'd need it, but then he was glad we had it along.  It was an outdoor theatre & it got rather nippy.

Wednesday i had a very busy day at work.  I also missed going to church as i'd been scheduled into the noon hour.   After work i did some quick shopping - an idea i had & Ikea made it happen.   

Duane & i handle warmth & heat differently.  We already had winter weight duvets on our bed, but that is simply too much for me.  I wake up warm in the AM, & my skin is cool to touch, but as the day goes on i get colder & colder & can't handle either heat or cold very well.  I often have to go to bed in the afternoon just to warm up.  So when i first go to bed at night, i need something to help me warm.  But as the night goes on & i warm back up, i need less & less covers & the winter weight duvet just about suffocates me!

Duane is just the opposite.  He wakes up & is putting out heat like a blast furnace (his skin feels like it is on fire to me) but he complains about it being "cold" in the AM.  As the day goes on he can handle either cold or heat just fine & in the evening he doesn't feel as cold as i do or as he did in the AM.  However, he wants lots of covers to sleep under.  

So, i thought that if i bought a lightweight, twin size duvet for my side of the bed, we could take out the second duvet in the big one.  I can sleep under the light weight duvet, & we fold over the big one so that Duane is under "winter weight" with just the one duvet.  When it starts to get colder, i'll keep the heavier duvet across both of us & switch the twin duvet to Duane's side of the bed so he'll have more.  Haven't figured out really cold winter weather yet, but we tried it for the first time last night & it worked well.

I'm told that in Europe, each person has their own duvet, usually twin size.  And that they often don't use a top sheet, but only the duvet, which is covered much like a pillow has a pillowcase.  It is taken off & laundered frequently.  This makes much sense to me, but we've never been able to obtain that.  We use both sheets & the duvet covers are for protection & decoration only.  I do think that changing the duvet cover is a pain & to do it weekly or more often to wash the sheets would be a challenge.  Maybe not if we were using twin size, tho. 

Thursday was another busy, busy day (for me, at least; i know i don't do as much as most people).  We got home & i rested some but i worked on some projects, too.  

Fall is coming!

This was our peach tree last year at the end of September.

This was our apple tree at the same time.

No fruit for us this year.  The peach tree died & the apples all were killed by a late freeze.  

Soon, we will be having the leaves turn, too.  These were taken in early October.  The signs for Oktoberfest are up.  It starts in a couple of weeks & runs thru the end of October.  I always thought it funny that it starts in September, but read recently that that is how it runs in Germany.  


Of course, after the color comes this.  Hopefully we won't have it come quite as heavy all at once as happened twice last year. 

I've lots & lots to say, as usual, but i'm ready for lunch.  Think i've said enough for now.  Oh, my sister Elsa may come up this weekend.  I hope so.  

Also, my friend Amrita posted on the Spas & Massage in India.  Fascinating.  Check her out.  She writes about so many interesting things.  

We are staying home next week.  (Hooray!)  :)  Labor Day is Monday (a holiday) but we never go down on Mondays anyway.  And Friday is our anniversary.  Six years now.  Don't know what we'll do.  Probably just dinner.  Duane is going to a training on Saturday (the 11th). 

Thanks for stopping by & i hope y'all have a lovely weekend.