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14 May 2009

Poor, poor me

I know i've done a lot of "poor me" posts recently.

I'm kind of tired of it. Too much meme.

But i do have to share some of what has been going thru my mind.

The Mother's day posts with info started it a little.

I'll never be woken up to kids bringing me breakfast in bed, with Daddy's help, of course.

We'll never be planning a surprise birthday for Daddy, where the kids are giggling & trying to keep a secret.

We'll never bake cookies, or plant a garden together, or teach them how to ride bikes.

We will never be grandparents.

This last one kind of shocked me. I'm reading a couple of grandma blogs. The idea that there will be no second generation, no third generation, no grandkids hit me rather hard.

Ok, thanks for listening to another sorry me story.

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2 comments:

Stacey said...

Kathryn,

Sometimes that feeling of dread for the future comes over me as well. The idea of having an empty house forever is so "heavy." As happy as I am with my husband, I realize that never having kids or grandkids is really not okay with me.

I pray for peace for us both as we continue on this journey! I don't know where it will lead, but I trust, and I do my very best to hope that somehow, something will change.

I feel your pain here.

Rosemary said...

I have had that "oh gosh" moment myself in the past and it resurfaces occasionally. I can empathize. I am going to try and do something to mitigate for me, but that's not for everybody, but I can understand your feelings.

As always, when I'm typing these out and often through the day, I'm sending you happy thoughts and warm hugs across the miles.