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02 April 2010

Thoughts on ________

"Hello, my name is Kathryn.  I'm a sugar addict."

Well, it is true!  I love sweets & have a hard time stopping.  I take them out of the house & slowly but surely they creep back in as i think, "Oh, a little isn't bad."  And it probably isn't, if i could actually stop with a little.  

Duane is down the hill for a training class so that he can drive the county vehicles for SAR.  Rebecca will be here before long & we will probably do mostly baking.  Did i mention i'd bought some Pampered Chef baking sheets?  Well, they arrived & i got them yesterday, so of course we'll have to use them today!  

We did return home yesterday to a couple of inches of snow, but most of it had melted.  The roads were completely clear & in most places they were dry.  In the shadows of the trees & house there was still quite a bit of snow.  

I usually do the driving back & forth to OC.  Partly because i get car sick on the mountain roads if i don't drive, & partly because if Duane needs to be on the phone for work it is better if i'm driving.  

I've not been driving as much the past few weeks.  I still drive up & down the hill, but at the bottom i've been having him do the freeway driving.  I've just been so, so tired.  Yesterday i didn't drive at all.  We came home thru the desert (for a good reason, but it would be pointless & take too long to explain).  I didn't drive at all.  I felt "weak as water."

When we got home, i simply climbed in bed.  When i feel like that, it is the feeling of having been extremely ill for a long time, but now the illness is gone & all that remains is fatigue.  Or, sometimes i say i just feel like i've been stepped on.  Really.  Some giant trampled thru & i just happened to end up under his feet. 

But we went to church last night anyway.  Not for a really good (spiritual) reason, however.  I had some things to drop off, & also my Pampered Chef stuff to pick up (the lady brought them to church to distribute them).  Also we've not been there for a few weeks & won't be there for a while again as we will be away for Easter.   

I have to say that i find it hard, sometimes, that when i'm back at church i'm frequently asked, "Are you better?"  The answer is no, & as far as energy goes it is worse.  I recently came across the statistic that only 5 to 10 percent of folks ever recover from CFS/CFIDS & almost all that do make the recovery do it within the first two years after onset.  God could do a miracle, of course, but most likely i'm not going to get better.  I know people are asking me because they are concerned, but it is hard, week after week to have to respond "No" when someone asks "Are you better (yet)?"

The big problem with our plan for Easter Sunday is that we will be doing 7 hours of driving that day (maybe more if traffic is bad).  And we are suppose to get more snow Sunday night.  

But i'm staying home next week!  Hooray!  I'm so glad.

I spent a lot of time looking thru pics today trying to find some to post.  I didn't find much that caught my fancy at the time, so i'm posting these:

The first is Sugarbear when we we took possession of it.  The house stayed that color for about 8 months.  The second was after it was painted but minus some of the trim.  It stayed like this for almost a year until we got around to finishing with the trim.  The last is Sugarbear today (well, last fall, we have snow & mud right now).  

I'm looking forward to some warmer weather - which won't arrive for about 3 more months!  Not really, but "summer" doesn't arrive here until nearly July.  Last night the low was 20F & the house is chilly!



Mrs. Mac said...

I pray you will be able to get through the holiday traffic with not a lot of stress. Seven hours .. that's quite a drive if it's one way.

I love the pictures of how your home has transpired through painting and taking ownership of it. It's a darling mountain home!

The sugar issue is felt here as well. We have no Easter candy .. hubby asked if he wanted me to have him pick any up. I said no and gave the same addiction reason as you gave. All it would take is one bag of jelly beans sitting in a bowl to have me hooked once more. I told him to think of it the same as setting a pack of cigarettes in front of someone that recently gave up smoking. I think he got the picture. If he wants his own secret stash ... that's fine.

I hope you enjoy your baking today .. and that Jesus works a miracle for you to get your strength back.


Pam said...

Happy Easter... safe travel too. I love your cute mountain home.

Amrita said...

Now I know why you like living in SugarBear,LOL

May the Hope and Joy of Easter be yours and Duanes '

Bob-kat said...

That feeling of endless fatigue is awful and you are so right, it is just like being stepped on.

I hope you have a lovely week off and enjoy your Easter.