Duane arrived yesterday & hung out with Sis #3 & friends until i came. We had a lovely dinner. He is off today to do the Coronado Bay Bridge Walk. Hopefully i'll have some lovely pics later. (Duane has the camera). The Coronado Bridge is so high that the shadow of it can be seen on the satellite picture on Google Maps.
Yesterday started out hard.
I'd been doing fine on Friday evening. But Saturday AM i was exhausted (non-restorative sleep is one of the ugliest things about CFIDS). I had a "mini-meltdown" as i couldn't see how i'd manage 2 more days. I also beat myself up for being a "drama queen" but in being honest to myself later, the "drama" was all within me. I went somewhere by myself, cried a bit, & came back.
I also requested to work with a specific Teaching Assistant for the first round (we are an odd number of folks, so that each time one student has to pair with a TA). I had been concerned that my extreme fatigue & energy deficit would effect another student. I asked this TA (with whom i'd briefly spoken of my issues previously) if she was good at guarding her own energy. She said that she was.
However, my concerns were overstated. As soon as i felt myself in "therapist" mode, God's healing energy filled me for the work. (Well, in the class they say "universal energy," but i know from whom it comes.) Also when the TA worked on me she did some energy work, & i was ok for the rest of the day. I also rested for a while at lunch.
I don't know why it is that i can utilize healing energy when i work, but i'm unable to draw upon that regularly to function. Will have to revisit that at a later time.
I do believe i was correct in assuming that i could handle this class because i've had it before.
There are a couple of changes to what i was taught 4 years ago, & i find that requires much more energy & focus from me. This has helped me refine what i learned before. While my technique was correct, my use of it was more mechanical & i was using too much pressure. It has also helped me to understand a bit better what we are doing & why. I've moved into a more intuitive use of this than what i had before.
This is set up so that if you sign up for the next class & make a deposit at the end of this class you receive a considerable discount. However, i don't know when (or even if) my energy will be better. I know at my present energy level i could not handle a class of this length & intensity if i was covering new material.
So, i'm soon off to start the next day. I woke with a migraine, so i'm hoping that it will soon relent with this work. :)
I'm excited to see the pics Duane gets.
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3 comments:
Oh Blogger, you deserve a kick in the pants for dumping my earlier comment. I shall try to recreate it, although I'm afraid it was a less than brilliant one.
I was wondering if you were perhaps an energy conduit, which is a valuable sort of person to be. I do wish you could keep some of that healing energy for yourself, though. You need to cross paths with another conduit!
Like you, I'm migraine-laden at the moment. A sorority with a particularly sucky crest, now doubt :-) Still, nice to know there's a sisterhood of sorts.
Oh for goodness sake, and there it is...rising up from the ether of the internet.
Blogger, you're being a brat, that you are!
I do believe i'm a conduit, Alane. A pipeline, something. I was trying to explain that to one of my sister's friends this weekend, & she just didn't get it. She kept talking about how it would draw energy from me & i kept trying to explain that i'm not giving the energy, it just flows thru me.
Well, except there are a few folks who seem to pull all my energy, but i didn't go there with her as she wasn't getting the concept anyway.
Yeah, i guess that the M.S. is a sorority we both wish we could quit. Usually CST works very well for me, but i think i was beyond it with stress & fatigue.
Blogger has been giving me problems, too. There are some blogs i simply cannot leave a comment at. (I usually try a couple of times & have learned to copy my response first so that i don't have to re-type it, but often i just give up in frustration.) So glad it eventually let you leave the comments, i appreciate them!
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