True Confessions

There is a thin person in my body desperately wanting to get out!  (Does that mean i'll be left with only the fat one?  Maybe if the thin one leaves the fat one will be thin?)

I did not one single productive thing yesterday.  I don't think i even played with the cats.

When i was 28 i swore i wasn't that old.  I was just two 14 year olds.

Maybe i'm not really this fat, i'm just two thin people.

I need to clean up my dining table & it is such a mess i'm overwhelmed.


I wear no make up at all.  On a rare occasion i'll use mascara & a bit of something to tint my lips (allergic to lipstick).  


I do color my hair.  


I swore i never would.


I love sweets & think i'm seriously addicted to sugar.


I will be 50 next year.  


I don't think i look it.


I have cornmeal soaking in the kitchen to make cornbread.  I've been to lazy to do it. 


My mother has always had beautiful skin & all my teenage years i heard folks tell her she didn't look old enough to have a daughter my age.

It feels narcissistic to write this (a post of true confessions).  Also to post two posts on the same day.  


That is just for me.  I don't feel that way about anyone else.


When i was 15 i was being mistaken for 20, when i was 18 i was mistaken for 30.  


When i was 30 i was being mistaken for 22.  


What's up with that?


Yesterday i waited so late to eat that junk seemed an appropriate response to hunger (at about 5 PM).  


My mother colored her hair & i never wanted to imitate her in any way.


I used emulate in the previous sentence & discovered that is not a correct usage.

I was working on clearing the dining room table.  I got overwhelmed.


I found my first white hair at age 26.


About a month before i'd met someone with long, long hair who had let her hair be natural & i thought the long black hair shot with white made her look like a witch.


I didn't want to imitate her either.


I think if i could just drink a "protein/mineral/vitamin" drink once a day that would keep me healthy & not have to worry about food, i'd be quite happy.


I don't believe than any such drink IS good; eating food as it is from its natural state is the best.  But i struggle with it.  


I'm feeling lonely & very much wanting to "connect" with others.  No one is blogging or on FB.  I figure other people have lives.


When i tell folks i found my first white hair at 26 they often "correct" me & say i mean grey.  ???  I laid it on a sheet of paper.  It was white.


I did eat beans, avocado, olives & tomatoes yesterday; also cherries & a peach, so it wasn't all junk.


My hair was long enough to sit on when i was 26.


Part of the reason i began coloring it (besides the white hair) was that the bottom part was strawberry blonde, the middle was red, & the top was growing in a reddish chestnut.  Left natural it looked like i'd done a bad dye job.


There are few chemicals i still use in my life.  Coloring my hair (with something from the health food store & minimal chemicals) & getting pedicures are the ones i still utilize.


I take my own lotion & oil in when getting a pedicure/manicure.

I'm very tempted to try some of the new blogger blog designs for this blog.  But i like it the way it is!  I just think it could be better.  I've not changed the design since i started it 17 months ago.  Some folks change theirs every week.


This has been a distracting/keeping me busy thing while i've been doing my hair.


It is done now.  


Good bye.  :)





346