My favorite folks ! :)

30 April 2011

Last day of April

This month seemed to go by so fast!  I've kind of been taking a break from blogging, tho not by design, and i've slowed down on blog reading, too, tho i eventually get to them all.

Again, i can't really say what has been going on with "our family" that we are helping.  It has been occupying quite a bit of my thought recently.  The parents are currently separated, but i don't hear from either of them that they want to divorce.  

I've been doing a lot of knitting, and Olivia is coming over later today and we will make cards.  The yarn shop here has lots of wonderful yarns, but she also rents space to other vendors and today a scrapbooking lady is opening up, so we'll stop by to see what she has.  

The Royal Wedding of course is what many folks are talking about, or American Idol.  Neither draws my attention too much.  I did, of course, check out Kate's dress.  I have to say, i like it much better than i did Diana's.  That one was over the top for me.  Since then i have also been looking at dresses that i admire.  

This has been national infertility awareness week.  Not that i think much has been done about it, or at least it hasn't come across my radar too much.  I just found a series of posts done on this issue.  I've not read them all (and given my current slow-to-read-blogs status, it maybe a while before i get thru them), but this one is definitely worth a read:  10 Ways not to be Insensitive About Infertility.  I'm going to highlight a couple (of things not to say).  

1.  “Well, it could be worse.”
2.  “Enjoy life without kids while you still can.”
4.  “As soon as you stop trying, it’s going to happen.”
6.  "Maybe this is just God’s way of telling you that you’re not supposed to be parents.”
7.  “Be glad you’re not pregnant – this kid in my belly is killing me!”  
8.  “You can’t conceive on your own? Well then just adopt.”
9.  “Well, if you need a sperm donor, I’ve got some healthy swimmers.” 

I've had all these things said to me in one form or another.  I've not had offers for sperm donors, but i have had a couple of women tell me that they "get pregnant so easily" that they could be a surrogate for me.  I don't think they begin to have a clue all that is involved with that.

It isn't real easy to hear someone say that maybe God just knew i couldn't handle being a parent.  (Oh yeah?  How about the millions of folks who abuse their kids?  They can handle them better than i so God gave them kids?)  It also isn't very easy to hear someone say, "If you're not a parent, that's your fault.  There are PLENTY of kids who need a home."  These folks don't understand what is involved in adoption and especially adoption of an older child.  I'm not saying that we are against it, but for multiple reasons it is doubtful we could take that path.

And then, just this week the doc i work with asked if i want to buy a child.  They are expecting their second girl in June, and their first child is keeping them busy.  I had commented about how very busy and even hard their lives are going to be for a while and he said off hand something about selling the child.  I replied "That is not a very nice thing to say to someone in my position."  His response was, "I was just kidding."  Yeah, i knew that.  It still wasn't funny and is rather painful.  

On the other hand, there are folks in the world who get it.  I got an invitation to a baby shower this week, and the person who sent it added a post-it:  Kathryn, we didn't want to leave you out.  If you're not up to coming, we understand.  (Heart)  

I thought that very kind and sensitive.  But that particular family has been very loving all thru this, even tho i don't see them much. 

My plants are doing well.  I transplanted them into larger pots about 10 days ago.  They are still indoors (and the kitties think i put them there for simply for cat pleasures of digging in dirt).  I think most are going to make it.  If they do, they'll be moved outdoors in early to mid-June.  And i'm ready to start another round of seed-starting.

Outdoors the trees are blooming, and we may have apples even from the tree that was so severely pruned - if we don't have a late freeze.  The onions i planted in boxes are up, and i put peppermint and spearmint at the bases of a couple of the trees.  However, i've not yet been outside today and it got down to 20F last night.  

So, that's a small bit of what has been going on on the mountain.  We had a good Easter.  I would have liked to take "our kids" with us to Duane's family, but i didn't want to take them away from their mama.  My sis and her friend came up for a day Friday/Saturday.  It was good to see her.  

Hope y'all are well and had a good holiday.  I still think about you and pray for you, even tho i've been neglecting blogging. 



lisa said...

I have gotten to the part of not blogging every day and it gets to be a chore sometimes, and of course with summer coming I get even more busy and makes it even harder to blog then. So, don't feel bad, as they say I blog for me not everyone else! I think the baby thing is hard and there really is nothing that someone else can say that makes it any easier for you, all we can say is we feel for you!

Amrita said...

Hi Kathryn, good to hear from you

Mali said...

I've been hoping you were ok.

I was reading this without my glasses, and read "My parents are doing well. I transplanted them into larger pots ..." !!! Oops.

I'm glad you said to your dr that it wasn't a nice thing to say. It might make him think. Good for you. I think speaking up like that is important, when we feel up to it.

Imaginography said...

People can be so insensitive though I suspect some mean well (doesn't make it hurt less though I know). When my dear old cat died I had people say things from "It's just a cat", to "Well, at least he was old" through to "Are you going to replace him?" I'm so sorry you have to put up with these idiots. Take care x

Kathryn said...

Hi Lisa - yes i blog for myself, too, but when i've such wonderful folks coming to visit my blog, i feel badly that i'm not keeping up with my blog or reading theirs! I often feel like i don't have a lot of people in my life, and i sure treasure those (including wonderful ones like you) who are there!.

You are right, there is nothing anyone can say to make it better. But there are a few who say things that make it hurt a bit more.

Hi Amrita! Hugs to you. Glad to hear from you, too.

Oh, Mali! How funny about my transplanted parents! So glad you shared that. :)

I'm glad i said something to the doc, too, tho i've the feeling it went right over his head. I've heard a few folks say, "You can't have kids? Take mine!" without a clue to the way that feels.

Hi Bobkat! Your new blog is simply stunning. Yes, people can be incredibly insensitive, even when they mean well. I know several (including my parents) who just don't "get" pets and how some folks feel about them. Our cats will never replace children, but we still love them dearly. I hope they will be with us for some time yet.

I'm sorry that you had to experience people who are clueless in empathy and loss.