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25 November 2013

Work, part 2

One of those really interesting conversations last week came with a price.

T, Duane's cousin K's husband, had been staying with Duane's parents while he was doing some job training.  T  and  K are some of my favorite people among Duane's relatives.  I always enjoy spending time with them.  They have a new baby now, too.

So last week T and i got into several conversations, and when we got to the work conversation, Duane joined us.  His mama sat listening, and his Step-Dad sat off to the side, apparently unaffected.  The conversation was lively (and i can't repeat T's definition of work for it had too many words - i don't remember it).  

Duane's Dad doesn't like to be left out or not the center of attention.  I remember wondering at the time if i should try to draw him into the conversation but this thing had its own life and pace an i didn't stop it to make that effort.  Frankly, Dad likes to pontificate, but he doesn't join these kind of discussions.  I was enjoying our exchange too much to put the brakes on it.

The next night, while i was at my knit group, Dad attacked T verbally.  He called T a whiner (he'd hurt his back pretty severely the week before) and a drug addict (for taking Motrin), and much, much more.  So the following morning T packed his things and will be staying elsewhere while doing this work.  

I am really, really sad.  I enjoy T's company so much.  I'm not horribly surprised because i've seen Dad do this before with others.  He is the master of passive-aggressive behavior, all unconscious, i think.  If he feels left out, or not in control in a situation, this tends to be his response.  I also know that he will never believe himself to be wrong, so nothing we say will change his mind.  He will never apologize.  

Not much else i can say on this.  I am so sorry, and sad.


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