My favorite folks ! :)

17 February 2009

No Title, just some thoughts

Ok, i admit it, i'm blog addicted. As i feared, reading one blog leads to 2 (or 20) more. I don't read them all, but peruse them to get an idea of what they write. Maybe 5% of these i add as something to follow. (Sometimes later i ask myself, "Why am i following this?" & then they might get deleted.)

One type of site i am interested in are folks who want to have a family & are having problems, & there are lots of those blogs out there. But i'm interested in only a limited number. First of all, i'm NOT interested in following a lot of IF IVF FET ICSI BFN/BFP & other abbreviations. (Infertile, invitro fertilization, frozen embryo transfer, intracytoplasmic sperm injection, big fat negative, big fat positive - i actually had to look these things up to know what most of them are.) There probably are a couple i will follow who are doing that, but i don't want to be too caught up in it.

I'm more interested in folks who are seeking God's call. That might be to wait, it might be to foster or adopt, it might mean using natural supplements & alternative care, it might be to choose medical intervention, it might be to accept that two can form a family. I don't mean to sound insensitive because this is a very painful subject, but these folks are so self focused & focused on what their bodies are doing & what their REs are saying (reproductive endocrinologist) & throwing around a lot of abbreviations.

Some of these women are taking strong medications to try to force their bodies to get pregnant. Some of them are young (23 -27). Some of them probably would get pregnant if they would clean up their lives (chemical "foods," household cleaners, personal care products, laundry soaps, etc.) and just let it happen in God's time. But, if a 23 YO is seeking RE help to get pregnant, & taking meds that cost $2000 a month, that tells me this is big business & the docs haven't a lot of incentive to help the wanna-be-moms to clean their lives & live healthier. More money to be made with IVF/FET/ICSI etc.

Granted, some folks do need this kind of help. And at a younger & younger age they are finding women with endometriosis & fibroid & other medical issues. AGAIN, this points to an unhealthy lifestyle. Yes, some of these young women will need medical help to get pregnant, But i would bet 80% of them would get pregnant naturally if they changed the way they are living. Do i sound harsh & judgmental? I don't mean to be. Wanting to have a family & not being able to is very painful. Having miscarriages is painful. Losing a child is painful. Seeing other folks having children easily & naturally when you can't yourself is painful. I know that pain. But i also think that it is too easy to seek a doctor who won't explain options & may make you believe that medical intervention is the only choice. It is pretty bad when everyone is brainwashed into believing that pregnancy is something that only happens with a medical diagnosis & intervention.

Yes, i know this pain. Megan (Dr. Geske's wife) was due Saturday. I see her again this afternoon. I've been working on her weekly for several weeks now. Before that it was monthly. I first found out she was pregnant when i had our most recent failed pregnancy last July. I understood Cain (of the Cain & Able story) better than i ever had or ever wanted to. I was SOOOO jealous i cried (silently) thru many of those massages.

But God doesn't call me to be jealous (or do murder). He doesn't call me to feel sorry for myself. He doesn't call me to be self-focused. He calls me to be obedient & wait on him. He calls me to be accepting - EVEN IF THAT MEANS I DON'T BECOME A MAMA.

Duane mentioned being interested in medical intervention in the wake of the crazy mama who had a litter recently. This makes me concerned. Because, i think, it could be running ahead of God. I think it could be forcing my body to do what it knows it cannot do. I think the fact that we've not had a viable pregnancy in 3 years now indicates that i'm not healthy enough to carry the pregnancy. What happens if we do something to force my body into it? AND there is the financial issue. Many of the parents doing this are borrowing huge amounts of money to do so. One blog i came across where the wife is now pregnant stated bluntly that she wonders how they will pay for the fertility treatment she has received & have money to raise their child.

Please Lord, help me be patient & wait on you. Please help me accept what you have in store for us.

Addendum: I do not want to sound critical of folks who are going thru the heartbreak of infertility. I just get frustrated with our society's great faith in what is called the "health care system." Doctors & "conventional" medicine have become the new god worshiped in our culture. The fact is docs are very limited by their education & the standard protocols. They have not learned to think critically or "outside the box." Much of my history of poor health has been a result of this limited thinking & the medical field's tendency to treat symptoms not cause. Enough said.


1 comment:

Tracy said...

I've just recently decided to forgo the fertility medications and just let things be. We've had several miscarriages, some with medical intervention, some with out. I'm at the point now where I've decided to try to live the healthiest I can (which I've been doing, but make more of an effort now!) and to seek other alternatives- such as vitamins, etc.

Anyway, I think your post had very valid points.