03 February 2010
Do you believe in Murphy's Law?
Looked it up at Wikipedia. There are a lot of different versions of the idea. Simply stated it is: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." But further is listed (at Wikipedia):
Murphy's Extended Law: If a series of events can go wrong, they will do so in the worst possible sequence.
O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law: Murphy was an optimist.
Uh huh. Yep.
I think i grew up with my own form of Murphy's Law: Anything i deeply desire with all my heart will never happen.
Now, that didn't always play out that way, but it did often enough that i struggled with the desire for things. Or people. It got to the point that i was afraid that if people knew i really liked them they would for sure be "taken" from me. My Montana Mom & her family came to CA when i'd been living here for about a year. They drove up & i sat in the house & waited for them to come to the door before i greeted them. I guess they could see me thru the window & her husband said, "Yeah. She's really glad to see us!"
But the truth is i was so excited to see them i was terrified to show it. I think i would have wiggled myself out of my skin, rather like an over-excited puppy, had i let them see how thrilled i was that they were there.
I've had a number of folks come to CA who don't even bother to call, much less want to spend time together.
There are two things that i have wanted with all my heart for nearly all my life. One has been to be a wife & to be part of a dynamic marriage. Yes, without a doubt i've been blessed with that. The other is to be a mama. That i've wanted for as long as i can remember. It is becoming clear it will not happen. I struggle with it.
Feel like i've been slapped by Murphy's Law.
The pics are from three years ago, this time of year. Just before we moved to Big Bear. I don't know what these trees are, they've always looked like a crabapple to me. They never have fruit, they are ornamental. Used a lot around here, & they bloom the end of January & early February. We came down for the end of the bloom, this week.
In another 2 weeks it will be 3 years since we moved to Big Bear & 2 years since we purchased Sugarbear. :)