My favorite folks ! :)

03 February 2010

Do you believe in Murphy's Law?

Looked it up at Wikipedia. There are a lot of different versions of the idea. Simply stated it is: "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." But further is listed (at Wikipedia):

Murphy's Extended Law: If a series of events can go wrong, th
ey will do so in the worst possible sequence.

O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law: Murphy was an optimist.

Uh huh. Yep.

I think i grew up with my own form of Murphy's Law: Anything i deeply desire with all my heart will never happen.

Now, that didn't always play out that way, but it did often enough that i struggled with the desire for things. Or people. It got to the point that i was afraid that if people knew i really liked them they would for sure be "taken" from me. My Montana Mom & her family came to CA when i'd been living here for about a year. They drove up & i sat in the house & waited for them to come to the door before i greeted them. I guess they could see me thru the window & her husband said, "Yeah. She's really glad to see us!"

But the truth is i was so excited to see them i was terrified to show it. I think i would have wiggled myself out of my skin, rather like an over-excited puppy, had i let them see how thrilled i was that they were there.

I've had a number of folks come to CA who don't even bother to call, much less want to spend time together.

There are two things that i have wanted with all my heart for nearly all my life. One has been to be a wife & to be part of a dynamic marriage. Yes, without a doubt i've been blessed with that. The other is to be a mama. That i've wanted for as long as i can remember. It is becoming clear it will not happen. I struggle with it.

Feel like i've been slapped by Murphy's Law.

The pics are from three years ago, this time of year. Just before we moved to Big Bear. I don't know what these trees are, they've always looked like a crabapple to me. They never have fruit, they are ornamental. Used a lot around here, & they bloom the end of January & early February. We came down for the end of the bloom, this week.

In another 2 weeks it will be 3 years since we moved to Big Bear & 2 years since we purchased Sugarbear. :)



Curly Muse said...

I have to tell you that I feel the same way you do about a lot of things.. I feel that things that I want will be snatched away or not "be for me."

I fight this by saying- well other people have such and such (not really materialistic but it can be anything) and that means that I could to. I felt that way when I was up for the job I started; I thought it might not happen and I was like- well other people have gotten well paying jobs.. so can I.

But I understand to some point how you may be afraid to say or even think about your wants.

It happens to me all the time!

Jana said...

Funny how we look at things. My mantra is "Expect nothing. You won't be disappointed."
Beautiful pictures. I have no idea what type of tree this is. But they are very pretty.

millhill said...

I have 4 kids and they are tremendous blessings, but I have never had a partner in life. Someone who I could share dreams and good times with. I married poorly and got stuck there- for far too long. It's a lonely world without a companion in life, so you are very blessed indeed. I really enjoy your blog and pictures.