A friend recently commented that she's not seen any new posts from me. This is true (obviously). Part of the reason for this is i don't think i can post about our lives without sounding like i'm giving into self-pity.
I didn't end up losing my license. I guess i was never turned in, but i've not driven (with one or two exceptions) since last October because the seizures have become random. I can't take a chance of harming someone else. And the tests that were run show nothing conclusive, but ruled out brain tumor or stroke. I've been steadily, slowly losing the ability to be up and around. We bought recliners so i can be downstairs instead of in bed all the time. I do attend knit groups and some other activities, but i pay for those when i do. I still look entirely normal. And disability has decided that i should be able to work full time. Sigh.
Duane hasn't really had a regular paycheck in 2 years. His former boss went through a rough patch and Duane began working on speculation with only occasional compensation. Basically, we bet on the company because the boss had a history of pulling out of it. But this time we lost. I was already getting ready to take a "leave of absence" from working for the chiropractor because i just simply couldn't keep going to OC, i didn't have the energy to keep going down every week. But then Duane's boss let him know they couldn't keep the business running with any compensation for Duane, so Duane wasn't going down anyway. He has been working freelance around here, some on his own and some with a friend, doing computer stuff and other odd jobs.
I could go on for pages and pages about the details of this, but that is where self pity begins. I'm working pretty hard not to indulge in feeling sorry for myself.
But, there are good things happening. We have some lovely new neighbors, although they aren't full-time people.
We have "adopted" a puppy. She is a Belgian Shepherd, Malinois line. She isn't papered, although we were told she is purebred. Papers don't really matter to us. I would have liked a Tervuren (the long-haired line), as that seemed more appropriate to our weather in Big Bear. But i couldn't find a breeder nearby and didn't want to ship a puppy.
So we now have Pepper. And she seems to love the snow when we have it. She is so funny! She runs through it and cavorts, and sticks her nose in it, jumping around. We got her on Boxing Day, when she was 7-1/2 weeks old.
Here she is with Duane the day we got her.
Here are a couple a little more recent, about a month ago, although she has grown quite a bit since this was taken. She does a great job of chewing up a number of different things - anything she can find.
She is SO smart! I'm not really a dog person, but it has been fun to have her. I'm learning about owning a dog. I have definite ideas about owning a dog, but don't really know a whole lot about how to carry it out. Her breed is kind of like a cousin to a German Shepherd, but slightly smaller. When she is grown she should be between 50 and 60 pounds.
She was 6-1/2 pounds when we got her, and she now weighs 35 pounds, so she is more than halfway to her adult weight. And then she goes through growth spurts! I swear she grew three inches (at the shoulders) last week! She seems so much taller all of a sudden. People look at her feet all the time and say, "She is going to be HUGE!" But everything i've read puts a female Malinois at no more than about 60 pounds,
We hoped that by getting her small the cats would adjust. Mac is NOT happy about this, although usually he and Pepper seem to have some respect for each other. When i look at it, Mac honestly hasn't been a happy cat all along. He is a bit on the cranky side. I've been telling him, "Choose joy! Decide to be happy!" nearly every day. Jazz seems to have adapted in that she is here and that's a fact. I think he would have played with her if he was a kitten himself or puppies and cats didn't play so differently.
So, there is an abbreviated outline of our lives the past couple of years.
545
I didn't end up losing my license. I guess i was never turned in, but i've not driven (with one or two exceptions) since last October because the seizures have become random. I can't take a chance of harming someone else. And the tests that were run show nothing conclusive, but ruled out brain tumor or stroke. I've been steadily, slowly losing the ability to be up and around. We bought recliners so i can be downstairs instead of in bed all the time. I do attend knit groups and some other activities, but i pay for those when i do. I still look entirely normal. And disability has decided that i should be able to work full time. Sigh.
Duane hasn't really had a regular paycheck in 2 years. His former boss went through a rough patch and Duane began working on speculation with only occasional compensation. Basically, we bet on the company because the boss had a history of pulling out of it. But this time we lost. I was already getting ready to take a "leave of absence" from working for the chiropractor because i just simply couldn't keep going to OC, i didn't have the energy to keep going down every week. But then Duane's boss let him know they couldn't keep the business running with any compensation for Duane, so Duane wasn't going down anyway. He has been working freelance around here, some on his own and some with a friend, doing computer stuff and other odd jobs.
I could go on for pages and pages about the details of this, but that is where self pity begins. I'm working pretty hard not to indulge in feeling sorry for myself.
But, there are good things happening. We have some lovely new neighbors, although they aren't full-time people.
We have "adopted" a puppy. She is a Belgian Shepherd, Malinois line. She isn't papered, although we were told she is purebred. Papers don't really matter to us. I would have liked a Tervuren (the long-haired line), as that seemed more appropriate to our weather in Big Bear. But i couldn't find a breeder nearby and didn't want to ship a puppy.
So we now have Pepper. And she seems to love the snow when we have it. She is so funny! She runs through it and cavorts, and sticks her nose in it, jumping around. We got her on Boxing Day, when she was 7-1/2 weeks old.
Here she is with Duane the day we got her.
Here are a couple a little more recent, about a month ago, although she has grown quite a bit since this was taken. She does a great job of chewing up a number of different things - anything she can find.
She is SO smart! I'm not really a dog person, but it has been fun to have her. I'm learning about owning a dog. I have definite ideas about owning a dog, but don't really know a whole lot about how to carry it out. Her breed is kind of like a cousin to a German Shepherd, but slightly smaller. When she is grown she should be between 50 and 60 pounds.
She was 6-1/2 pounds when we got her, and she now weighs 35 pounds, so she is more than halfway to her adult weight. And then she goes through growth spurts! I swear she grew three inches (at the shoulders) last week! She seems so much taller all of a sudden. People look at her feet all the time and say, "She is going to be HUGE!" But everything i've read puts a female Malinois at no more than about 60 pounds,
We hoped that by getting her small the cats would adjust. Mac is NOT happy about this, although usually he and Pepper seem to have some respect for each other. When i look at it, Mac honestly hasn't been a happy cat all along. He is a bit on the cranky side. I've been telling him, "Choose joy! Decide to be happy!" nearly every day. Jazz seems to have adapted in that she is here and that's a fact. I think he would have played with her if he was a kitten himself or puppies and cats didn't play so differently.
So, there is an abbreviated outline of our lives the past couple of years.
545
2 comments:
Hi Kathryn, I am so sorry for all health issues and other problems. I wish you better days ahead and will pray for you. I hope that you will succeed in avoiding the pitfall of self pity. May you continue to teach Mac to 'choose joy'!
Thank you. :)
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