For someone with dyslexia, i read a lot. Blogs, books, newsletters, email. Lots of stuff.
I've never been formally diagnosed, but i do the word reversals, letter reversals, have trouble with right & left, & other issues characteristic of dyslexia. I also reverse letters as i'm typing, mixing my left & right hand letters, but i usually catch that quickly. I also have another form, it has a label but i don't remember what it is. It is where i read a word from the sentence below the one i'm reading & so it confuses me, sometimes.
I tend to read with one eye, because if i use both they often won't converge & i see two different lines of print.
Several years ago i took a class on mentoring others to read. At one point she was talking about this label of the name i don't remember. She said, "People with this issue will see wavy patterns on a flat wall." And i gasped, "You mean that's not normal?"
All my life i assumed that my word/letter reversals & reading words from other sentences was "laziness" on my part. I was in too much of a hurry to read it right.
Over all, this hasn't caused a great deal of difficulty in my life. It is not severe. No great difficulty beyond telling someone to turn right when i mean left, or causing me to read a little slower. (When i put the word "dsylexia" in my search engine & it asked me "Do you mean 'dyslexia'?" i had to read it about 4 times before i found my mistake.)
A year or so there was an email going around where nearly all the words had the proper letters but in mixed up order & most people can read it just fine. So, with the exception of spelling tests as a child, i don't think there has been a lot of problem. I do think it caused some of my problem in reading music & difficulty with learning both violin & piano.
My point here is kind of whinging, however. I read a lot of blogs, & some don't use any paragraph breaks. When i come across that page of black print my mind panics. Usually i end up skimming it & moving on. I can't read those pages. Too many words to get mixed up. Somehow paragraph breaks help me maintain my place on the page. Not having them is like trying to eat a block of concrete.
While i'm complaining - grammar!!! "Her & her husband" "They're place" "You're pet" i could go on & on. Don't the schools teach this stuff any more? Oh, well. Let me just say that grammar does matter because folks will consider the writer uneducated if really poor grammar are the building blocks used. Some believe it doesn't matters too much, but it does make it hard to read. Lots of folks have really interesting stories, but i find that if i'm bogged down by the grammar i have a hard time getting thru it.
I've edited this numerous times now, since i'm complaining of grammar i want to make sure mine is right!
Ok, can you tell i'm still a bit tired from the trip? :)
The pics have nothing to do with my rant. They are just some Duane took on the way home & i think they're cool.
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Actually, we got home Tuesday afternoon, but i didn't want to post until i had pics to add. I was lazy Wednesday & didn't get out to do the pics until yesterday. And it has often been overcast & cloudy so i had to time my pics as well. Weather has been below normal temps tho yesterday did get to 71 F. The lows have been in the 30s, & one night even under freezing.
But we returned home to find the roses blooming & the apples & peaches growing well.
The apples.
The peaches. I was worried because this tree was so loaded, but the tree is taking care of that itself. A number of peaches have stopped growing. They fall off at the slightest brush of my fingers. The ones the tree feels it can support stay put firmly. The tree isn't very big, & i have brushed off quite a number, but we still have many, many left. I'm hoping this means the ones that are left will be sweet & full of nutrients!
Tuesday was also my birthday, & coming home was the best present i could have. Duane took me to dinner, & didn't even fuss when i ordered food i shouldn't eat (i love manicotti!). Other than that i kind of forgot it was my bd. My ILs had given me a gift earlier & my MIL baked gluten-free brownies for me on Monday. I'd told Duane i wanted my present to be the massage i got while we were in Cumberland Falls. So by the actual day we'd already done a lot of celebrating.
Yesterday was the "Women's Birthday Luncheon" where the women of the church go to lunch together, but it isn't very tied to birthdays, we go whether there is one or not. We usually have about 10 show up, +/- depending on the season. It is my job to call all potential ladies to get a head count & then call the restaurant either for reservations or to warn them we're coming! Some places in this tiny town don't do reservations. I've 22 ladies on my list to call, but it sure seems like more.
Mac & Jazz seem very happy to have us home. Mac must have been stressed by our leaving, he's sneezing. When we moved to Big Bear we boarded both cats at the vet for a few days (& Jazz became a male less male parts) & both cats got some virus. It resolved, but since then, when stressed the virus will recur. It doesn't seem to bother Jazz much, but Mac has had it come back a couple of times.
The first day home, particularly, Mac seemed to waver between being very glad we were home & very angry that we had left. Jazz is very matted & rather dirty so we can't help but wonder what he's been into. Our theory is that he somehow managed to get into the fireplace behind the wood stove insert. It kind of looks like soot on him. And i did not leave my home dirty! I promise!
Anyway, i'm so thrilled to be home. Don't want to leave again for a long time. I was talking with one lady yesterday. I'd guess her to be in her early 60s. She & her husband are leaving for Egypt soon. They do a lot of traveling. She says they are going to the "harder" countries first while they are still physically able to do harder traveling, & saving other places like European countries for when they are older & less able to travel.
I'm very glad for her, of course, that they are able to do what they want & enjoy to do, but that is not my desire. Which is a good thing. This trip made it clear to me that i'm more limited than i was willing to acknowledge, so i couldn't. But i also don't have much desire to travel. This could change someday, but for now i'm happy to be home, stay home. If i don't see all the wonders of the world, i expect to see them in the New World, Heaven, as they were meant to be.
When i first moved to Long Beach (Los Angeles County) i read a book written in the 20s & set in the area. The things she was writing of - the countryside & flora & fauna - have long been lost under housing developments & shopping centers. I found myself longing for heaven to see Los Angeles as it was meant to be.
I'm content that if i don't see these things here, i will experience them in greater joy when i get to Heaven.
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Yes, i've often been homesick on this trip.
The funny thing is, it is not Sugarbear i'm homesick for. Well, it is, of course. I like my home. I miss my kitties. But that is not what i'm talking about.
I think i've mentioned before that i consider "homesickness" - or at least the type i experience - as "longing for heaven."I don't remember ever "wanting" my mama. I did not like returning home. It was not a safe place for me. Have spent my adult years creating that home, that safe place. And i like my home. I'm not agoraphobic, but i could easily become someone who never leaves home. Still, part of me can feel homesick, even when i am home.Sometimes it is for the first cutting of hay in Montana (usually around 4th of July). Or the first feeling of crispness of fall in the air. Or the first snowfall on the Montana mountains.
Maybe because i lived in the South as a young child & have vague memories of it that are pleasant, but i often had the homesick feeling this trip. Part of it, i think, is that i'm homesick for past days: playing with cousins, running free, my grandma's garden & her fruit trees & wonderful green grapes & picking blackberries; watching my grandpa with his bees & pet coons, skunks, & crows & his gentle manner all around; listening to my cousins speak (they had the most beautiful accents that i felt i lacked after we moved to Montana) & watching my younger cousins do silly things.
The house of my B. grandparents is gone now. I see no trace of the house, their gardens, grapes or fruit trees. There are more subtle things i miss. I remember playing in the grounds behind the house that we lived in when i was six. I say "grounds" because i don't remember it well. I think there were some scattered trees & lots of rocks. I know there were woods too, but farther back. When we found a lost dog & owners came to claim him it turned out they were true hill people ("hillbillies" is the term often used in an unkind fashion). But they saw how much i loved the dog & in simple graciousness they let me keep him. And when he was run over by a car (we lived on a busy highway) within six months i was old enough to think, "If i had let them take him, this would not have happened. Had i let them take him, he would still be alive."
I remember the fall colors in the hollow (meaning a little valley) we lived in after that house. The year i was seven. It was a furnished rented house & had many nooks & crannies & interesting things to discover. But it was the beauty of the fall colors there that i remember most. I also remember trips to & from the grandparents then. They lived in central KY & TN, & we lived in East TN. I remember visiting the Great Smoky National Park & thinking it very beautiful.
Somehow, a beautiful view, especially of trees or hills or land, that reminds me of the days 
when i was younger gives me a homesick feeling. It is a mysterious feeling somehow, ethereal & very difficult to describe. I understand how stories of elves & wood gnomes & fairies & mysterious folk came to be. I feel that way with beautiful woods around.
And, i believe this is a longing for heaven. A deep desire to fill a hole within that cannot be filled this side of death. Part of it is a longing for a simpler time, childhood, when i felt somewhat sheltered & things were not so hard to understand.
Jesus told us "I go to prepare a place for you, that where I am, you may be also." I know some folks have taken that verse (& the one about "in my house are many mansions") very literally. That Jesus is the master builder/carpenter & is creating a home for each & every one of us. I don't know that i see it that way. If it is that way, it makes me very curious for what my home will look like. Because i am so very eclectic in my likes. I like craftsman built houses, & Tudors, & old time farmhouses, & A-frames, & Swiss chalets, & stone houses, & barn-like gambrels, & well done Spanish-stuccoes, & log cabins, & houses with dormers & gables. If God puts all those things into a home for me, it will look odd indeed. And yet, i know if God does it, it will be perfect & it will go together.
But that is not my expectation of heaven. I expect, when i reach the presence of God, i will be HOME. For the first time in my life truly HOME, & where i belong. I think, for the very first time i will not be longing for something else, something more. For the first time i will be complete.
And so, until i "meet my maker," until i have the joy & honor to be in his presence, i expect i will always be a little homesick.
P.S. I'm adding this to "Wednesday Walk" because of all my old memories. Hop on over to Lynnette's blog to check it out!
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We are almost home. Got in last night but don't get to really go home until tomorrow afternoon. I'm having issues. I WANT to be home!
It has been hard for me not to have much computer access. My computer was being less than reliable when connecting to wireless before we left, but while we were away, it became very unreliable. It usually gave me about 10 minutes - time to download my email & a few other things & then it went out. My husband generously allowed me to use a plug-in card, but i didn't want to use it too much, it was for his work. Usually, however, he was able to access the wireless connection where ever we were.
The other issue was simply time. It seemed we drove most nights until fairly late, & so just having the time to write wasn't there. I've missed it.
And i'm cranky, tired, & full of complaints! I want to put them somewhere besides my brain!
But i think most of the complaints i have are just stupid stuff: that i can't be home already; that when i can't actually unpack (not being home) the stuff is hard to manage, especially as MIL is having company & we have to vacate the room where we normally stay; limited time for the things we'd like to do; etc., etc., ad nauseum. In other words nothing major, just small things of which to complain that are not very important.
This pic is of my parents at their anniversary party. I find that we didn't get very many pics, & most of the ones i do have are not so good. The party went well & i think they were pleased.
All the family that was at Cumberland Falls. Mother & Daddy are sitting. D is behind them on the left (he's being silly). Sis #3 behind, then E, Duane behind her & also me, R, Sis #2 with her youngest daughter standing in front of her, behind Daddy. Sis #2's first son P wasn't able to come, nor were the soon to be bride & groom. It was kind of a family blow up & a lot of drama around their non-attendance & i'm not sure we'll ever know completely why. For now it is probably just best to assume they were too stressed with the upcoming wedding.
This pic is from the wedding. My sis, her husband (soon to be ex, probably), all 6 of their kids, & the groom.
I've decided to do a separate post of the scenery. Duane's beautiful pics don't deserve to be attached to my complaints, anyway!
I will say i don't think i ever want to do a "vacation" like this again. Reminiscent of my childhood where every trip was long boring drives, short, rushed times "seeing things" like national parks, monuments, "historic things" etc & long visits with family here, there, & everywhere. (Hurry out of the car, look at Mount Rushmore, take a pic of the family with Mount Rushmore in the background, hurry back to the car so we could drive 8 more hours.) I DO NOT want to recreate such times again.
I'm not sure we had a lot of choice on this trip as the alternative would have been to sit around my parents' house & visit for the 4 days we traveled. That would have been too much people time for introvert me, but this was a bit too much rushed driving & sight seeing. We did a total of over 1800 miles of driving in the 10 days we were there, 1400 of that in 5 days. (Duane is crowing about "unlimited mileage" on the rental car, however!)
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We have been at Cumberland Falls since Sunday night.
We arrived late Sunday night (i made a wrong turn at one point & the GPS rerouted us - took us all the way to Knoxville & added 90 miles to the trip).
We got down to see the "moonbow." There were a lot of people there. I did see it but not as i expected. It was mostly reflected light, a streak of white light. The lady at the front desk later told me that that is usually what is seen. She said unless it is cold you don't see the colors in it. But Duane was able to rig a tripod & put it on 30 second exposures. I haven't done much with the pics yet, but in them you can see the colors in the moonbow. When i get to a faster internet connection i'll add some pics.
Monday we walked over to where my folks have rented 2 cottages or cabins. They are very nice, but they accommodate the 8 folks there very well. My niece to be married, her fiance, & a nephew didn't make it up for the anniversary party or this trip. Had they been here the cottages would have been much more crowded; also had we chosen to stay there. We have managed much better having our own room in the hotel.
We visited for a while, & then i drove into Corbin & got a massage & did some grocery shopping. The massage was ok. I did relax, but i was so very exhausted. My biggest complaint was she kept me waiting 45 minutes, shorted me 15 on the total (i was signed up for 90), & she didn't listen to my request. But it felt good & i did relax.
Shopping in Corbin Kroger was an experience! I thought i hated shopping in Orange County, CA. The problem is that no one makes eye contact & there is little positive interaction among folks. But OC shoppers look positively cheerful compared to those in Corbin! I've never seen people so grim. They will, some of them, make eye contact. But when you smile at them their frowns & grimaces get even deeper. I was unable to smile anymore after about 3 minutes, & was severely depressed after 5. I returned in the grumpiest mood ever!
But we had a good evening. The kids roasted the marshmallows i bought & made s'mores. Sis #2 & i verged on arguing a couple of times. I was having discussions with daddy. They were not acrimonious. We did not yell. But we did not agree, which i knew we would not. They were about food. Daddy doesn't see a problem with conventionally grown produce, milk, poultry, meat. He has worked in agriculture (research to produce more food) all his life. So we discussed it. But both times Sis #2 said, "Stop! Stop! We've all strong feelings about this & there is no point in discussing it!" The first time she did this i was so angry with her that i walked out. The second time she interrupted daddy & i almost walked out but instead i very pointedly said to her, "I haven't heard HIS opinion yet."
Sis #2 wasn't sharing her opinion or talking. She just didn't want us to talk. And i was very angry with her. I asked Duane about it later. He wasn't there for the first discussion, but he was for the second. He confirmed my memory that we weren't being rude, loud, or ugly. We were simply discussing an issue we disagree over. So i don't know what Sis #2 thought she was doing but i didn't appreciate it.
Yesterday was too much.
I remember as a small child after a hard day of play feeling so tired that my body was just heavy. If an adult picked me up i would be a melted puddle of tired child, draped over their shoulder. I remember that feeling well. It wasn't bad 'cause it was time for bed & when i woke up i'd be ready for another day.
I woke up feeling that way yesterday. I was profoundly tired. I did go to breakfast & sat in the lobby on my computer for a while, but i was just too tired to stay upright. I had things i wanted to do - most of the folks went horseback riding; & things i needed to do - laundry. Instead i spent most of the day in bed. It was very discouraging, but i knew if i didn't rest i wouldn't manage the rest of the trip.
In the late afternoon i did get up & shower. Then an aunt & uncle drove up & we all had dinner together at the lake view restaurant. Then we did various things in the evening. So it was ok.
But we leave today. The plan is to go about 11 & head for a visit with Darling Dawn & her wonderful husband John. I don't know how we will drive. I didn't plan on going thru Lexington but Duane hasn't seen KY's horse farms, so we might. So my commitment to spend the time with my family is now done. We are free to do what we want until Saturday's wedding. Woo-hoo! :)
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I would have pics from this weekend, but the upload/download time on this internet connection is very slow. Try to get some soon.
This was, quite honestly, a difficult weekend. It had its very good points, but it had very difficult ones as well. I think i could easily turn this into a whinging rant, but want to focus elsewhere instead. I want to list the good things from my family. This list isn't very easy for me. Truth is, for every good point i have at least ten bad ones, but i want to focus on the positives. Here they are:
- I appreciate that they taught me to love Jesus, & took us to churches that taught the Word of God.
- They put a big focus on family & the importance of family connections.
- They put a funny spin even on the difficult things & taught a love of humour & laughter.
- Mother taught me to sew & to do it properly.
- Daddy taught me to ride a bike & later to drive a stick shift.
- They built a lovely home in which for us to live.
- We were able to have animals on their property. I had three horses when i was growing up.
- They grew a garden & fed us healthy food (i didn't appreciate this & all the work it took until very recently).
- They did (once i was a teenager) encourage my friends to come to the house sometimes.
- Mother allowed me to sing with a youth choir & drove me to all the practices.
- They paid for me to have violin lessons, piano lessons, & voice lessons.
- They allowed me to babysit at a young age.
- They allowed me to have a waitress job when i was old enough.
- I was allowed to use that money to purchase contacts (i hated glasses - i still do!)
- They taught me to take responsibility for my actions & to live responsibly.
- They taught me empathy for others.
- Since i've been an adult they have been supportive of many of the choices i've maed & they have been quite generous as well.
- They did indeed stay married for 50 years & upheld that commitment to one another.
Ok, this list was a little different. I wrote it a couple of days ago & finished it, but i've been having trouble with my computer connection & the last part was lost. I may later whinge on some of these points, but i'll do it at blog of lists. :)
I do want to honor my parents for what they have done.
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(Said in a creepy, little girl's voice from a movie.)
We have arrived. No pics to post at this point. Duane set up a wireless internet & we have access. I may post some, but anticipate i'll be very busy & so may not. I think it will take a long time to catch up on blog reading, too.
The trip was fine with no problems. We've always made fun of the PT Cruisers, think their body style is funny, so we rented one!
We slept well, & the bed is comfortable, but i am bone tired weary. Probably will have to spend today recuperating so i can do all the other things we have planned.
Oh, i've meant to write a lot about the trip, cloud cover, etc. But it seems kind of boring to me now. Maybe i'll add it in when i write about the rest of the trip later.
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Lynnette Kraft usually does a "Wednesday Walk" of some memories, remembrances, looks at the past. And i usually get 'round to it late on Wednesday when it is already Thursday in the Eastern parts of the country. So i'm going to get a jump on it now.
Last year we had a very late snow the end of May. I've mentioned it before because the heavy freeze that went with it killed all the apples on our tree & we have lamented that ever since!
On 2 June last year we were headed down the hill & stopped to take this pic. I wanted to record how much snow was still on the mountain on that date. These are not our near mountains. You go over (around, actually) Sugarloaf mountain & look across the valley to see this.
Anyway, we went down yesterday 1 June, & we stopped to get this pic 'cause i wanted to compare. Here it is. We haven't had snow now since early April, i think. I believe this to be about the same spot as last year. The angle isn't quite the same.
There we have it, this year & last. Kind of boring, but i guess it's interesting to me! :)
Ah, i just realized i didn't explain - we drive by this every week. It is on our route down the hill to work. We only see this view when going down, because when coming home it is behind us. :)
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I couldn't think of a subject line earlier, so i came up with this one. Funny friend Dawn commented:
Umm, your subject line-New Warrior Princess chant ;-)??
I could write about my stressful weekend. Getting ready to leave on this trip has been quite a hoot. Think i'll leave it for another time.
Instead, i found this fun. From Rosemary at Free Advice Worth Every Penny -
. . . So, without being able to remember WHO or WHERE I saw this, and a lack of time to search for it. Here's the "Unfortunately" game. You just type in - Unfortunately, (insert your name) - in a search engine (Google, Ask, Yahoo, whatever) and then see what pops up!
Her's is very funny, plus her commentary. But then what else would you expect from a retired Superhero?
I wasn't sure what to expect of this, but i used Dogpile first, then Google. Results were similar, but very fun:
Unfortunately, Kathryn was expecting the usual abilities: flying, energy blasts, super-strength and super toughness, possibly enhanced ...
Oh, boy . . . i always wanted super powers!
It seemed very interesting, but unfortunately Kathryn chose that moment to begin talking loudly and insistently.
Story of my life, always being loudmouth Chatty Cathy.
Unfortunately, Kathryn had been at the wrong place at the wrong time. ... Kathryn thought of the wonderful ... Kathryn wasn't sure what she felt for him.
That's me . . . wrong place at the wrong time & not being sure what i feel . . .
Kathryn: Unfortunately, our Don Juan is moving with the speed of a Special Olympics
I seem to have this effect on folks.
"We are developing a new slate for Arena and unfortunately Kathryn doesn't fit in with those plans."
Nope, i never seem to fit in . . . triangular peg in a square hole.
Unfortunately, Kathryn became stricken with arthritis two years ago, stopping her from giving paying guests a tour of the property
No more tours from me.
unfortunately, Kathryn was taken off of life support around 5 or 6.
Pull the plug!
Unfortunately, Kathryn passed away on February 15, 2001.
Ummm, can i comment if i'm dead?
I think these are pretty funny even without witty comments like Rosemary managed. Unfortunately, i seem to have met an untimely demise. :(
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